Have you ever heard the phrase “familiarity breeds contempt”?
It implies that extensive knowledge of or close association with someone or something leads to a loss of respect for them or it. (Oxford Languages)
Familiarity indeed breeds contempt, but that doesn’t apply to your finances or your relationship with money.
Rather than contempt, familiarity breeds competence when it comes to money.
In fact, the more familiar you get with your money, the better you become at managing, multiplying, and making more of it.
Money is a tool, a resource to spend, accumulate, live your desired lifestyle, give to others, and be a blessing to the world.
“Money is a great servant but a bad master.” —Francis Bacon
The reason a lot of folks have challenges with their finances or get exasperated over money is because they have not learned to put money in its rightful place.
Money is inanimate, and you are animate—it means you are wiser and smarter than your money.
Money takes on the nature of the person who owns it, so money doesn’t have a mind of its own and it will only adjust itself to fit into the values of the person who owns it.
If you have a mouse and cat relationship with your money, it is because you haven’t realized that you are meant to be the custodian of your money and not the other way round.
You must learn to control your money, to make the best of it, by knowing how to make, manage, and multiply it, and you cannot manage effectively what you are not familiar with.
The more you understand how it works, the more you are able to maximize and make the best of it.
Here are a few areas you need to be familiar with when it comes to your money.
Recognize your “money value”
What does money mean to you?
What would you like money to do for you?
How would you like to spend your money on an errand, and how would you like your money to serve you?
Do you want money to give you security, independence, comfort, or a desired level of living?
Then start to appropriate your money well.
Recognize your “money scripts”
Money scripts are core beliefs about money, resulting from what you learned from your parents, peer group, generational influence, and other factors.
They are things that have stayed with you about money, things you have learned in school, and things you have picked up from your environment .
Some families do not believe they are cut out to be wealthy, and they pass that on from one generation to another.
Money scripts are things running in your head about money; there is either a scarcity or an abundance of it.
How did your parents talk about money? Were they always exasperated, did they regularly fight, or were they magnanimous?
Recognize your “financial patterns and triggers”
Let’s say, as a salary earner, you get your salary paid once or twice a month. Are you able to exercise control over your money?
Does your month end before your money or your money ends before the month?
Are you able to set money aside from your business proceeds as a business owner?
Do you find yourself spending more when you have cash in your pocket?
Do you spend more when you are with a certain group of friends?
Do you spend more when you are worried or lethargic?
What are your triggers?
Do you spend more money on certain days?
Do you spend money when you see certain advertisements?
Are you easily influenced by the things you see?
Here are a few tools that will help you get familiar with your finances.
Your bank’s account statement
Bank statements don’t lie; they show your patterns easily.
When I coach people one-on-one, one of the things I request is the client’s bank statements, because they reveal a lot about them; excessive or impulsive purchases of certain things , and at certain times of the month.
It’s a tool you can review from time to time to see where your money is going.
Having an accountability partner may help you get familiar with your finances
A lot of people shy away from talking to people about their finances, especially when they need help. Yes, you have to be careful, because some people may not be exactly trustworthy, but there should be one person who is trusted and tested that you can share your money journey, concerns, struggles and even wins with. It may be a friend, a coach, or a mastermind.
A Money coach will help
A Money coach will help navigate your personal finances, your history, current situation and patterns, and your goals.
Working with a budget will help you get familiar with your finances
A budget shows you the excess or deficit between what you earn and your expenses, and it is a good tool for planning ahead in order to see what your money is able to do for you.