In recent weeks, with the permission of our readers, I have been responding to direct emails and questions from some senior business executives occupying leadership positions in different organisations. Again, this week I will respond to a leader who is very disappointed with her team members and direct reports. Please, see the email below:
Dear Dr Sobande,
I hope you will answer this question because I need your leadership perspective. About three years ago, I was poached to serve as the General Manager of a thriving company’s subsidiary. I was so elated to inherit a fantastic team of senior members when I resumed the company.
So, recently I have been constantly disappointed in my team members despite doing everything possible to clarify everyone’s roles and responsibilities. For example, I have a forgetful team member or, can I say, very negligent. She consistently fails to upload the weekly report required by others to do their end of the work.
I have another one who is fond of creating false alarms causing everyone to panic unnecessarily. And yet I have another senior team member who recently failed to prepare adequately for a presentation to a team of my peers and my boss.
I am so frustrated, or am I being overly critical of my team members? Am I being unrealistic with my demands? Should I give passes when I know people have a lot on their plate? Is it me? Is it my team? What is going on? Any counsel you can provide would be great.
Warm regards,
Frustrated leader
The beauty of disappointment is that it serves as data; it is information about something you think is obvious to others that are not
Dear frustrated leader,
Thank you for your mail.
Here is my perspective, and it is nothing personal. You have stated your side of the story because I don’t know the details. You know it is always the leader. Everything rises and falls on the leader. When a leader is complaining about their people, it is time for the leader to look in the mirror. You’re the leader, so, yeah, it’s you.
So, let’s look in that mirror. Have you always been disappointed in people on your previous teams? If the answer is yes, then you have high standards that you have not adequately shared with the people who work for you. If the answer is no, you have not done a good job sharing your standards with this particular team. It isn’t that your expectations are too high; your people aren’t aware of what they are.
Although you have been clear about roles and responsibilities, your expectations have not been explicit enough. Maybe from your body language, you have communicated that it is all right to miss deadlines with reports. Perhaps, you have sent the message that creating an emergency where none should exist is a judgment call that can be made without your input. You have allowed your team members to think that showing up inadequately prepared is acceptable.
It is a common mistake to think that just because people are experienced and, as you say, “senior,” they will have the same professional standards as you. That is not the case, and professional standards are all over the board. If you want your team members to rise to yours, you must tell them what they are.
A client asked me recently, “Do I need to tell my people I expect them to show up on time to meetings?” The answer is yes. Yes, you do. These days there is such diversity of culture, context, generations, and backgrounds that you can’t expect everyone to read your mind. There is a good chance your team’s last boss either had different standards than yours or didn’t hold people accountable for the same things you think are essential.
Just because something is obvious to you does not mean it is obvious to everyone else. So, here are some examples of expectations you might want to share with your people:
– Keep your word. Don’t speak from both sides of the mouth.
– Be on time for meetings or tell them you will be late.
– Provide timelines for submission of reports and explain why it needs to be submitted on time.
– Encourage them to submit all work before the deadline, let them inform you ahead and negotiate for more time if they will be delayed
– Please read and review all final work before sharing it with anyone outside the company.
– If they are presenting to people outside the team, please schedule a time to review the content and make sure they do a practice session with the technology ahead of time.
– If they consider escalating anything to emergency status, ask them to consult you on the tactical approach first.
Read also: The Leadership Question: How do I exit my organisation?
Based on what you shared and similar incidents I have heard from clients, I made these up. The beauty of disappointment is that it serves as data; it is information about something you think is obvious to others that are not. Every time you are disappointed and frustrated, it points to a standard you have that you have not made explicit.
Assuming you have a good rapport with your people and they know you have their back, you can share your expectations and remind them as needed without judgment. In most organisations, people have more work than they can handle, so they will always look for places where they can cut. If they know you are paying attention, they won’t choose the areas that matter to you if they know what they are.
As a leader, your job is to help your people do their best work and help them shine. You will be fine if your expectations are designed to do just that.
Cheering you on,
Dr. Toye Sobande
