I have met grown men who are economical with the truth and when I find out, it pretty much dumbs them down in the area of respect and all other issues of integrity concerning them is gone out of the window. I have met grown women who never open their mouths without telling an untruth. It used to give me many unsolved puzzles because I was brought up in the belief that the truth will always set you free. No human being is perfect but it’s always better to aspire, to try, to do your best.
Many years ago, I made the acquaintance of a young woman whose stock in trade was serial lying and recreating herself. It was very difficult to believe anything she said. A quick check will reveal an untruth. To keep up with her compulsive lying, one had to permanently have a string of checking tools. She on the other hand was totally unfazed by her action and would sacrifice anything on her way. One day she turned up in a sleek Mercedes, near brand new and declared it her car. In my heart, I knew she was lying but I had no way of ascertaining. She drove this car for nearly three months and it suddenly disappeared.
Upon my hard nose investigation, I found that she was scamming everyone except me with this new car thing. She was one of the smoothest talkers I know and was always dressed to the nines. The first rule scammers tell me that allows them get away with murder is that they first of all earn your confidence. They study their victim’s habits and routines, likes and dislikes and then they strike. It was in the heady days of the early eighties in Lagos and politics was booming when Ms two goody shoes arrived on the scene in Lagos carrying a bag of lies. She seemed other worldly, too good to be true and everybody’s friend. She seemed to know every influential politician and was a natural flirt.
There just was something that did not add up for me. In the middle of all of this scamming and smooth talking she turned up one day with this brand-new car and a new surname. She told anyone who cared to listen that she had married a prominent politician in” a private ceremony”. She could not understand why I did not take her seriously. She looked like a glass silhouette, I could see right through her. Most people could not. The top reasons why scammers get away with it is that they gain our confidence and more often than not we idolise their lives and wish we could be like them. Confident, smooth talking, a cognoscenti of some sorts. And even when we suspect stuff, we excuse them time and again and they grow bigger in their scams. They are nice or they did not really mean it. We wear blinkers for them and cheer them on.
Nigeria needs a dose of honest men and women in all the sectors of the nation to pull us through. Now we are often a bag of dishonesty in small and big things. And it’s a shame because Nigeria is the nation to beat on the continent
In the end, I found that Ms Mercedes was using the politician’s name to garner favours and being adept at influence peddling managed to make a fortune with his name in tow. I found out in addition that she had been his bed mate but never married her. It was convenient for them both. Friends with benefits. As for the car, she borrowed it off another friend who was generous to let her have it alternate days until her phantom “Jeep” was repaired. There was no such jeep and when the time for her to return the Mercedes was up, she claimed it had been stolen at a car park in a supermarket on the Lagos mainland. As my children would say when a tale is too good to be true. “Lie of the devil” It was all too much for me and I kept a safe distance from her. Drama, lies, stories.
There are too many people in the world who are like this ex acquaintance of mine. All running around scamming innocent citizens for the lucre that this would give them in order to live large. But honesty remains the fulcrum of any person, any group of people and any nation’s development. Community clashes would come up and we will all be ogling about who did what, what the problem is and then we wonder who is telling the truth. It is the season of lies and anything that is built on dishonesty will always crumble and fall apart when the truth is told. As a nation turning sixty, we need to interrogate ourselves.
How are we lighting the national torch? From politicians to lecturers, from students to civil servants, and Pastors and Imams, have we been honest with Nigeria? Where are we hurting the nation? Or like Ms two goody shoes we are lying to ourselves and to our nation. A lot of times people without integrity will sacrifice anything to get ahead and have no shame. We must all commit to this honesty thing. It’s the only way and we must teach our children that honesty pays. Dishonesty and corruption go hand in hand because when you lie, you must cover it with the next lie and it is unending.
I leave you with the story of a supposed friend of mine who worked very closely with a top government official. I had gone to complain to him about certain unfair treatment meted out to me in the workplace. He promised to tell his boss on my behalf as I could not see her on the day I visited. Fast forward two months later, I asked if he had done the needful. He looked me straight in the eye and told me he did not have that conversation with me. It was a defining moment. Really? We had spoken for two hours and he showed uncommon empathy. Now because it was no longer convenient for me, he suffered amnesia. I was more shocked than I was annoyed. These things destroy trust. Of course, I will never be able to trust him.
Nigeria needs a dose of honest men and women in all the sectors of the nation to pull us through. Now we are often a bag of dishonesty in small and big things. And it’s a shame because Nigeria is the nation to beat on the continent. And there are good men and women whose voices are being drowned. if only we understood that honesty is a thing and it fixes all things. When you are dishonest, you are not being smart as many people think today. Dishonesty is a baggage, a scam, a place that destroys all things good and plentiful. Let us carry our honesty flag. Each and every one.
