Whose idea are the wigs and eyelashes in Nollywood?

It was many years ago that a young lady arrived in a salon in a flourish holding what seems like a half eyelash in her hand. Her eyelash person, codename MikyMickie for Michael, was aghast when she began to shout. Look at my lashes she yelled, they just came off at a restaurant, literally fell off. I had to yank out bits of it to show you.

Aunty, it’s enough now. Michael whispered. Calm down! Oya, first sit down make I finish dis customer. He did not want any more tattle about how bad Kemi’s eyelash fix was. He had rushed through it the week before because she had a party and could not wait. Nowhere stood there, half eyelash and all and dare to complain.

Aunty Kem Kem, Michael continued a wide smile enlarging his face. Kemi sat. Then slowly she began to list her appointments for the day putting Mr Michael under pressure. I am unable to help you oh, I am busy. You have to wait 20 minutes. Kemi knew she did not want to turn up at her meetings with one lashed eye and another without false eye lashes. She was therefore prepared to wait. But how many women in Nollywood are prepared to wait or even have a Michael in their lives?

Our challenge in Nigeria’s all-important film industry is the difficulty in making things natural and universal so the content can travel

What I see frequently on Nollywood are lots of actresses, old and new wearing mega size false lashes walking around as if they are carrying baby bats on their faces. Worse of all, I can literally see the glue used to stick the lashes on, so when they blink, shut their eyes or even open their eyes in amazement. The eyelash is there of course, bat like but the gooey glue makes everything so totally unsightly.

So, I have often wondered if Nollywood actresses visit the same eyelash man. Very few of them actually wear false eyelashes that look natural, in the right size and professionally done. Our challenge in Nigeria’s all-important film industry is the difficulty in making things natural and universal so the content can travel. Some of our movies are so bad that they can only travel within Nigeria.

A lot of our movies can’t travel outside our borders. All of this in addition to so many actresses wearing badly fixed weaves where their own natural hair undergrowth is showing like a badly weeded farmland. Hairline bring me to eternal shame and every other thing in between looks like it was done by a carpenter. When you add that to the wigs that people take off on and off in public like throwing on a shirt with no elegance, I am truly tired.

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A movie is a total package. Please don’t introduce a young lady who is supposedly rich because she is dating rich men and her wig is an unmitigated cheap throw on. If you are not ready, wait until you have a budget.

I am tired of making excuses for bad casting, bad acting and bad scripts. While there are some movies that throw light on the talents in this amazing film industry celebrated worldwide, can we at least have an eyelash and wig make over?

We can invest in good make-up artists, hairdressers, and wig makers. Give them some band exposure in a barter arrangement. Some of these actresses travel out there. Find some really cool hairdresser to show you how to look your best. In fact between Accra and Lagos, there are some truly good hairdressers. Then there are some wizards in the false eyelash department. Everywhere in Nigeria. Find them. Have a workshop on this matter please.

It is becoming a huge distraction in the movies. Producers should invest in the Michaels of this world. Let’s have a colloquium on Nollywood wigs and eyelashes please. I do not wear the things. Maybe one day. But it has to look so natural you can’t tell. Until such a time, Nollywood much as I love you, can you be mindful of your wigs, eyelashes and weaves please. Thank you very much.