“While mindfulness can lead to healthier, more effective leaders, an overemphasis on personal well-being can risk alienating the very teams they seek to inspire and support.”
Leaders today are increasingly encouraged to practise self-care and mindfulness to sustain their effectiveness and well-being. However, it’s crucial to distinguish between healthy self-love and self-care, which can enhance leadership, and selfishness, which can undermine team trust and organisational success. This article will guide leaders in navigating the fine line between these concepts, promoting a balanced approach to self-care that benefits both the leader and their team.
Ediri, a seasoned CEO at a leading manufacturing company in Warri, had always been known for his commitment to his role and his willingness to go the extra mile for his team. His days were filled with back-to-back meetings, late-night strategy sessions, and constant decision-making. He was a leader who led by example, working long hours alongside his team, ensuring that every project was completed with precision and on time.
However, after years of this relentless pace, Ediri began to feel the effects on his health and well-being. He found himself frequently fatigued, his stress levels soaring, and his patience wearing thin. Recognising the toll that his work was taking on him, Ediri decided it was time to make a change. He started prioritising self-care by setting strict boundaries around his time. He began his mornings with a workout, blocked out afternoons for reading and reflection, and made it a point to disconnect from work over the weekends. This new routine provided Ediri with a much-needed sense of calm and clarity. He felt more in control, more focused, and believed this would make him a more effective leader.
Yet, as weeks turned into months, subtle changes began to surface in the office environment. His team, once accustomed to his hands-on leadership style, now hesitated to approach him with urgent issues, knowing that Ediri valued his personal time. Key decisions that required his input were delayed because Ediri was not available. The open-door policy he once championed seemed to fade away as Ediri’s office door remained closed more often than not. Team members, working late to meet project deadlines, felt neglected as Ediri left the office early or took extended breaks. Concerns and murmurs began to circulate: “Is Ediri more invested in his own well-being than in the success of the company? Has he become too detached?”
Read more: Leadership: It is what you allow that grows – Part 1
Ediri found himself at a crossroads, reflecting on the delicate balance he was trying to maintain. Was his commitment to self-care truly making him a better leader, or was it creating a distance between him and his team? Was he setting a positive example of balanced leadership, or had he become too self-centred, risking the trust and engagement of those he led?
“Is my self-care approach enhancing my leadership, or am I crossing into selfishness?” Ediri pondered, echoing a question many leaders face. In cultures that value leadership presence and dedication, how do leaders strike the right balance between self-love and the expectations of their role? How can they ensure that their self-care practices strengthen, rather than weaken, their connection with their teams?
In a recent survey by the Harvard Business Review, 71 percent of executives identified themselves as struggling with stress and burnout, underscoring the growing importance of mindfulness and self-care in leadership. However, the same study noted that 55 percent of these leaders feared that prioritising their own well-being could lead to perceptions of selfishness and neglecting their team’s needs. This finding highlights a critical tension in modern leadership: the need to balance self-care with the expectations of being constantly present and engaged. While mindfulness can lead to healthier, more effective leaders, an overemphasis on personal well-being can risk alienating the very teams they seek to inspire and support.
In the context of leadership, self-love involves practices and habits that nurture one’s well-being, enabling a leader to be more effective, compassionate, and supportive. It’s about maintaining physical health, mental clarity, and emotional stability to better serve others. Conversely, selfishness is the act of prioritising one’s needs at the expense of others, neglecting the responsibilities or the well-being of those one is meant to lead. While self-love is about sustaining oneself to sustain others, selfishness focuses on personal gain, often leading to a breakdown in team trust and morale.
The case of Ediri, discussed in the preceding paragraphs, is a classic real-life example of how leaders grapple with the balance between self-love and selfishness. For instance, imagine a leader who practises self-love by taking short breaks throughout the day, helping to maintain focus and reduce stress. This leader also regularly checks in with their team, ensuring that everyone’s workload is manageable and providing support when needed. As a result, the team feels valued and cared for, leading to higher engagement and productivity.
In contrast, consider a leader who schedules meetings only during their personal best hours, without considering their team’s schedules, or who delegates all challenging tasks to others while taking credit for successes. Another example is a leader who consistently withholds important information, keeping their team in the dark to maintain control and authority. Similarly, a leader who makes decisions without consulting their team, ignoring valuable input and expertise, shows a lack of regard for others’ perspectives.
Leaders who regularly prioritise their own career advancement over the professional growth and development of their team members, or those who take all the praise for a project’s success while blaming others for failures, are also demonstrating selfish behaviours. Such actions can lead to resentment, decreased motivation, and high turnover among team members. These behaviours not only harm team morale but can also create a toxic work environment, where trust is eroded, collaboration is stifled, and employees feel undervalued and unsupported.
Do look out for a continuation of this article next week.
About the author:
Dr Toye Sobande is a strategic leadership expert, lawyer, public speaker, and trainer. He is the CEO of Stephens Leadership Consultancy LLC, a strategy and management consulting firm offering creative insight and solutions to businesses and leaders. Email: [email protected]
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