The last two years have been difficult ones to say the least. Although we seemed to be better off, then Omicron showed up to spoil our joy. But if you are a focused individual or you start to cultivate laser sharp focus as a way of life, not much will spoil your joy. You will rise from a storm like a Sphinx by practicing storm blasting focus and mindfulness. Start small. Don’t jump. Jog slowly into a new way of life.
A week and a half ago, a dear sister Ezinne Kufre Ekanem sent me a compelling message. Big Sis she said, I want you to be our guest on our radio show to wrap up the year. Okay I said, a bit hesitant as I was in the middle of a crazy schedule as I locked down 2021 in my office. We were closing for the year. Okay I said to her. Difficult to say No to Ezinne. My topic for a mostly female audience was ‘Taking Stock.’ While it was for a predominantly female audience, I am sharing some of the information because it benefits us all.
1) Take stock of your relationships. That guy who has spent his life eating your food and not putting a ring on the finger. What should you do? Quell your heart, give him a three-month ultimatum and start moving without looking back. He does not love you. He is a user. Okay let us look at married couples. Take stock. How often does he yell at you in public? You are not his daughter or servant. He should never speak to you disrespectfully.
Without anger or malice tell him you are not pleased with the way he speaks to you and you would like him to stop. Period. First, he will be shocked, he may even shout at you. Ignore. Go into 2022 without Toxicity. Protect your mental health. Be happier. Do not let anyone reduce your self-esteem. You are wonderfully and fearfully made by God. Do not stay in a violent relationship or seek help. A man who beats his wife is a low-level animal or he is sick. You are not his chair or punching bag. Get help for him and yourself. If it is overwhelming, run. He might one day kill you.
2) Take stock of your finances. No, you don’t not have to buy that Aso-ebi if you cannot afford it. You can wear the colour chosen or buy only the gele not the full ensemble. You might even buy only one piece of the headgear not both. Save your money. Learn to save even if its 2 naira a day. See what it becomes at the end of the year.
Go into 2022 without Toxicity. Protect your mental health. Be happier. Do not let anyone reduce your self-esteem. You are wonderfully and fearfully made by God.
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For older people above 50 with many responsibilities I recommend saving 10 percent of your earnings. At 40 years, make it 20 percent. At 30 make it 30 percent. Once you are below 30 and working it’s time to do 50 percent savings. After all, you are most likely enjoying all the privileges from your parents home. Manage money more responsibly. You do not need a Gucci bag, which is insanely expensive; a bag is a bag and you can even become your own Gucci by making your own bag.
Ensure you know how much is in your bag each time and make a list of your day’s spend. I used to keep money in my bag for other purposes like food for the house or bills, then spend some on groundnut, corn and sometimes a stop by snack and then not remember. Ha ha. Then I start complaining that my money has gone missing or has been stolen. Untrue. I learnt to make a list. 300 naira groundnut, 1,000 naira corn, 1,000 naira boli, 2,000 naira for my security man etcetera.
3) Take stock of your health. Run a check at a general hospital. Don’t say I can’t afford it. Take opportunities of free eye checks. Free diabetes checks. Get vaccinated. I know many persons who have died from Covid. I know many who recovered because they were vaccinated. I know many who recovered even when not vaccinated. It was tougher for them than those vaccinated. I know many who did not get Covid because they were vaccinated. Protect yourself and others. It’s not a fluke. The vaccination does not kill. I am alive and will soon be ready for the booster. Take care of yourself in 2022.
4) Take stock of yourself improvement. Get a short course. Save towards it. If you are not happy at your job prepare to change it. But be strategic. Don’t jump when you have not planned and if the other job is not a good opportunity. Take a payout and go to a more pleasing job if your mental health is being threatened at the better paying job. Everything is not about money.
5) Watch your stressors. Don’t get a mental breakdown because of an unreasonable sister, husband, wife, uncle, brother, sister, brother, mother or father in law or Auntie. Even parents sometimes. Take a walk. Get a break. Tell them what they are doing to hurt you. When you return after an eight week break, they would respect you more and treat you better. Don’t take crap from anyone. It does not mean you should not show patience but do not be anyone’s doormat. Politely and nicely but firmly tell them what you do not like. Even your children.
6) Hold unto God. Be more in tune with your faith. It helps to anchor you in times of difficulty and keeps hope alive day in day out. It is my place of rest and needs refilling. Hold your faith tight. It is important.
7) Commit to realistic goals. Do not say I will build a house this year when there is nothing that indicates that you can. Make realistic projections like buy land or commit to saving for rent. Be realistic or it will make you ill if your goals are beyond your earnings.
8) Be grateful for where you are and strive hard for where you are going. It is possible. Always be hopeful. Audit where you are and plan to be better.
A call came in during the programme from a lady who said she achieved nothing in 2021 and therefore has nothing to audit. I told her to audit the fact that she is alive. People with lots of money have died. You have achieved living. It’s a gift, build on it. She said she had not thought about it like that. She felt better knowing she had been gifted her life. Thank you Ezinne for the opportunity to share on your lively programme; “Up You with Ezinne” on Women Radio, WEFM. I had a blast.
2022 is a year of hope and rejuvenation. Let’s keep hope alive. Happy New year and a healthy and prosperous one at that.
