A dirge for Ifeanyi

My daughter had called me panicking the morning after. Ifeanyi, she stuttered. He drowned. I could not put it together. I just felt a sharp pain in my chest and a dull feeling all over. I had no idea who Ifeanyi was and she did not respond when I asked. She was in Lagos and I was in Abuja.

For hours, I mulled over Ifeanyi. I did not have to know who Ifeanyi was. I felt his loss as if I knew him. Oh, his poor parents. Oh no, his friends. Oh dear, his associates and what a terrible way to die. The death of one man diminishes us all. The death of a child can be haunting.

Then after a couple of hours of leaving me in limbo, my daughter sent me a WhatsApp message… Davido’s son… He is only three years old. Just celebrated his third birthday. So sad… I looked at my daughter’s message for a long time unable to respond and frozen on my chair while I processed the information therein.

My twin daughters Meyi and Oiza are songwriters and performers and this must have hit hard, especially since they were in Lagos when this happened and also that Davido is a member of their tribe whose music and work ethic they admire and follow. I was gobsmacked. The first question a mother would ask is where was everyone. But as they say when it is destiny, even if the Mum was home, it might still have happened.

Cute as a button, Ifeanyi, the love child of multiple award-winning musician Davido and his beau, Chef Chioma, traversed the world in his mini-celebrity status, with a swag all his own. He was adored, adulated and celebrated by his parents, handlers and scores of nannies and yet with all of them in tow, he walked into his father’s swimming pool and emanated lifeless.

It is hard to bear when we all think of what could have been. Surely, someone among the battery of his caregivers should have seen him snuck into the swimming area. Surely, there could have been barricades to prevent him from easy access.

These are just questions in the air. The deed is done. Hard to believe but true. He was the apple of his father’s eyes and in this age of social media, Ifeanyi had all it took to be shown off by his father doing all manners of cute things. And only recently, his father was teaching him how to swim. He was Davido’d minime, a sight for sore eyes.

As for Chef Chi, she carried him everywhere she went like a trophy. He was a spitting image of his mum. Cute in that resplendent sort of way that made us want to perpetually gaze at him. He was fashion forward and carried his hair in locks and braids, a signature all his own.

His eyes made him even cuter, large and welcoming, at once curious and helpless. We all wanted to cuddle him. Skin smooth as whipped butter. Everyone’s dream of a perfect child. Ifeanyi Adeleke by virtue of his life and death belongs to all of us.

The Adeleke family is in mourning. Their celebrity grandson gone the way all mortals would. So young. So tender. So sad. Our hearts go out to all of them and we stand with the mourners for as the good book says sorrow with those who are mourning and give your condolences.

I spool back many years and watch my mother in tears as she struggles to eat even a morsel. My younger sister, the lovely Josephine, has just passed. We are inconsolable but my mother is unable to rise for weeks and months and years. No one should ever have to bury a child.

The deed is done. Hard to believe but true. He was the apple of his father’s eyes and in this age of social media, Ifeanyi had all it took to be shown off by his father doing all manners of cute things

Davido is inconsolable. Chef Chi is in a place too difficult to describe. The passing of a child would seem like an arrow pierced through the parent’s heart. Many questions would be asked, of God and of man. Grieving s a slow gruelling process. But Ifeanyichukwu’s memories will never depart us.

He was that little show-off we loved to see. His doe eyes upon his dad and Mum every time. The belief by all children that no matter where they jump from, mummy and Daddy would always rescue them. Ifeanyi was confident when he sauntered into that pool that he would be fine.

He wanted to show his dad he could practice what he had been taught on his own. He wanted to be adventurous like all children are. He wanted his dad to be proud of him.

A couple of days ago, I watched a sombre Davido cuddle his son and stroke his head. I could not be sure if Ifeanyi had already passed when this happened. Here was a man, a musician, a confident performer, standing still, broken by the passing of his son. Chef Chi must be beside herself.

How could this happen is on everyone’s lips. But after a while only Davido and Chef Chi in their private moments would grieve a son who sealed their relationship. And with his passing who knows what might now be in the air.

Ifeanyi Adeleke has moved on in the light, has joined the spirits of his ancestors, has moved past the plane of earth and ascended higher. Ifeanyi Adeleke, we salute your three-year presence with us. You brought so much joy to your parents and to the rest of us who watched you on line do your thing.

We became familiar with your tantrums, your morning marches, your teddy bear, your swagalicious strut, your cute stare, your wardrobe and the essential beauty of your presence, braids and all. We will remember you but your mum and dad will have you etched in their hearts forever.