Red Flags, Hard Truths, and Honest Conversations – A review of Joy Ehonwa’s Dear Elona

Title: Dear Elona: Letters to my Friends, the Brides and Brides to be

Author: Joy Ehonwa

Year of Publication: 2021

Number of Pages: 213

Category: Self Help

The title ‘Dear Elona’ gives little away. Simple and understated, it does not immediately hint at the warnings and reflections waiting inside. But the blurb changes everything. Promising candid conversations about marriage and relationships, it draws readers in and makes it almost impossible not to begin reading.

The book is written as a collection of letters addressed to 49 women, a format that immediately captures attention. You may find yourself wondering whether the names belong to real people or are simply creations of the author. As the book unfolds, however, it becomes clear that the names matter less than the messages attached to them. Almost every woman who reads the book will find herself reflected in at least one of the letters.

Joy Ehonwa goes straight to the point. At times, she sounds like an older sister offering tough but necessary advice; at others, like a trusted friend sharing lessons from experience. Her honesty is refreshing, encouraging readers to confront difficult truths rather than avoid them.

Each letter focuses on a different aspect of marriage and relationships. Physical attraction, character, values, expectations, and compatibility all come under discussion. Ehonwa challenges readers to look beyond chemistry and romantic excitement and consider the qualities that sustain a healthy marriage.

One of the book’s strengths is how personal it feels. Although the letters are addressed to specific women, the lessons are universal. Readers are not simply observing a conversation; they become part of it.

Dear Elona encourages readers to rethink their views about marriage. Those in relationships may find themselves examining their choices, expectations, and the future they are building with their partners. Throughout the book, Ehonwa urges readers not to ignore warning signs or dismiss issues that may seem minor today but could become significant later.

The phrase “shine your eye” appears frequently, alongside reminders not to ignore red flags. At times, the constant cautions can feel intense. There were moments when it seemed as though the author was determined to ensure that no reader entered marriage unprepared, even if it meant making the institution itself appear somewhat intimidating.

There are occasions when the tone feels so direct that you may find yourself putting the book down, not because it is uninteresting, but because it demands serious thought. Ehonwa refuses to let readers approach relationships casually and consistently asks the uncomfortable questions many people would rather avoid.

While some readers may find the numerous warnings overwhelming, others will appreciate them as necessary reminders that marriage is one of life’s most important decisions.

The author also has a humorous side, and some of the lighter chapters might have worked well earlier in the book. The opening sections create a level of tension that may feel heavy for some readers. At times, Ehonwa raises concerns without immediately providing clear answers, which can occasionally leave readers unsettled. Yet this may be intentional, encouraging readers to think through the issues themselves rather than rely on simple solutions.

If you have ever struggled with knowing what questions to ask while dating or wondered whether you are focusing on the right things in a relationship, Dear Elona offers valuable guidance. It is not a rulebook but a series of honest conversations designed to help readers make wiser decisions.

Dear Elona is not the kind of book you finish and quickly forget. Its lessons, warnings, and questions linger long after the final letter. Through honest reflection and practical insights, Joy Ehonwa challenges readers to approach relationships with wisdom and a deeper understanding of what makes a marriage work.

About the reviewer

Titilade Oyemade is a business executive in a leading organisation and holds a degree in Russian Language. She’s the convener of the Hangoutwithtee Ladies Event and the Publisher of Hangoutwithtee magazine. She spends her weekends attending women conferences, events and book readings. She loves to have fun and to help other women have the same in their lives. Email: [email protected] Social: @tiipreeofficial