• Friday, June 21, 2024
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BusinessDay

Double wahala

Double wahala

Ovie was the love of my life, the one I hoped to spend the rest of my life with. Apart from his constant travel, we enjoyed an absolutely beautiful relationship but it had to end when his job took him to the UAE. Unlike other times, he wasn’t sure how long this particular trip was going to last. By the time he was gone for over a year, it became clear that we couldn’t manage a long-distance relationship. My heart broke into several pieces and I thought I’d never find love again. But then it happened and I had a second chance at love when I met Fred. We dated for a few months before I became his wife. When Fred and I exchanged our wedding vows that warm Friday evening, I thought he would be my forever man but unfortunately, the fairy tale didn’t last for long.

We were not even married for six months before I started to feel the pressure from his parents. Their constant intrusion in my marriage was annoying and the way they hounded me about giving them a grandchild was not what I had envisaged. I could understand their desperation to have grandchildren but I felt attacked, especially as no one was asking my husband questions, I was their target. From their calculation, I should already be heavily pregnant with their grandchild but I didn’t look as if I was worried.

When Fred and I were dating, I remember that his parents, especially his father, would always drop hints about his admiration for girls who got pregnant before they got married. I thought that was very unconventional and not typical of an African parent. I shouldn’t have ignored the glaring red flag.

By the time we were celebrating our third wedding anniversary, the interference from my in-laws was almost sucking the life out of me. The support and encouragement I needed from my husband was almost non-existent so I found myself hopping from one fertility clinic to another, where it was confirmed over and over again that there was nothing medically wrong with me. Meanwhile, I had tried to convince Fred to also get checked but he vehemently refused because he didn’t see any reason why he should.

He was his parents’ only surviving son so I could understand their desperation or was it frustration? But there was almost nothing I could do about the situation. The last time I checked, I am still Stella Dikko, a commercial banker and not God Almighty, the giver of children.

Fred had a weakness, he was still tied to his parents’ apron strings… always eager to please them without thinking of the consequences. One such mistake was when they got him a young girl who would bear him children in no time. One would have expected my darling husband to tell them off but no, he did not want to upset Mummy and Daddy so he went ahead with the marriage plan.

He told me that he was only doing this to keep his parents off my back and as if it was any consolation, he added that he would keep his new wife as far away from me as possible. I was really disappointed in Fred. I wanted to leave my marriage but I lacked the guts to do so because I love my husband. I meant it when I took those vows and I said it was for better, for worse. Besides, I didn’t want to give my in-laws the satisfaction of leaving my marriage just because they messed up.

Everyday was a struggle but I managed to stay afloat and not drown in my misery. My job became my stress relief. One day at work, as I was busy with some painting work, a familiar name caught my attention and I rushed into the banking hall to see if it was him. Yes, it was him alright. Sitting handsomely in all his Ovie Jackson glory was my runaway love. He froze when he saw me. We hugged tightly and almost didn’t want to let go until it dawned on both of us that we were in a public place. I knew without any shadow of doubt that the sparks were still there. I could feel the undeniable chemistry between us and I had to comport myself because people were watching. I had severed all forms of communication with him after I got married, but now he was right before my eyes in flesh and blood. We exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet up for lunch. Ladies and gentlemen, that was the beginning of many other lunch and dinner dates

Ovie was in the country to spearhead the branch of a FinTech company owned by the parent company in the UAE. He would only be around for as long as it took the company to kickoff and start running then he’d go back to his base. I wasn’t surprised that he was already engaged and his fiancee was his colleague. So this was a situation where his wife to be was living far away and I have a non resident husband, so we decided to make the best of the time we had together.

It was just like old times or even better. We couldn’t stay away from each other for so long. We spent every free time together for weeks on end, we enjoyed each others company, flirting and kissing a lot but it never went beyond that. The sexual tension was palpable and it was only a matter of time before our defenses came crumbling. The inevitable eventually happened. After that first time, sex became a routine …something we both looked forward to. Even when his fiancee came into the country briefly, Ovie and I would still continue to sneak around like high school sweethearts. I couldn’t define our relationship but I enjoyed what we had going on. I needed the distraction away from everything that was happening in my life. Did I feel any guilt? No, none whatsoever. Our “entanglement” was complicated but I was having the time of my life.

At about this time, Fred’s parents had diverted their attention away from me and were now focused on the new Mrs who was not yet pregnant. Now, speaking of pregnancy, I realised that my body had been feeling all kinds of ways that I didn’t understand…my mind told me that I was stressed but my body was telling me differently. A pregnancy test strip was what I needed to kill the suspense and just as I suspected, the test was positive, I was pregnant. I didn’t know how to feel about it but somehow I felt relieved and happy. This was proof that the doctors were right all along. And if Fred’s new wife wasn’t pregnant yet, then he should look at the man in the mirror for answers.

Right now I’m feeling all kinds of emotions about this pregnancy and I’m worried about how Ovie will react to the news. I also wonder what my in-laws will say because technically, I’m still married to their son.

Ovie will definitely want to be a part of his child’s life but how is he going to handle things especially with his fiancee?.
Will he want to end things with her to be with me? It’s something I know he might be willing to consider but the honest truth is that inspite of what I feel for Ovie, I still love my husband very much.

This pregnancy situation and the drama that is set to unfold makes me recall the words of the legendary singer FELA who said, “confusion break bone, na double wahala for dead body and the owner of dead body”. This is truly a double wahala situation. But there has to be a way of out.

I’m swimming in murky water but I don’t intend to be in it for too long. I haven’t been sexually intimate with my husband for almost four month and here I was, eight weeks pregnant. This is going to raise a lot of dust but I’m ready for what’s coming. The journey ahead will be tough but I’m more than ready to face it head on. My husband and his parents failed me but I have been vindicated.