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Cold, Cold Heart

I never knew my father because he died when my mother was pregnant with me. They had been friends for five years and were married for just eight months when my father died. He had a health condition that was misdiagnosed until it led to his untimely death.

My mother was scared of losing another husband so she never got married again. She worked hard to ensure that I had a good life. I wore the best clothes, I attended the best schools and I always had enough cash to spend. I didn’t lack anything at all.

My problem started after I graduated from University. I thought that getting a good job with my brilliant result was going to be a piece of cake but it didn’t turn out that way. I got my Masters degree and other certifications to boost my Resumé but that didn’t help either. I felt jinxed. Mom encouraged me to be patient, she believed that something big would come eventually but I was becoming frustrated.

One day, she ran into an old friend of dad’s who promised to help me get a good job. I had a meeting with him, it was a very brief one (the shortest interview I ever attended). I was disappointed. However, he promised to get back to me. (Sigh!! That’s what they all say). I was tired of hearing those words.

Anyway, you know what they say about an idle mind right? It is truly the devil’s workshop. I was bored on this particular day, so I got on my phone and started calling old classmates. I landed on a particular contact but I hesitated, I reluctantly hit the call button and the person at the other end picked up almost immediately. Gary and I were classmates but we were not close friends. I was always there for him whenever he had a need. I never used it against him or looked down on him. Gary was happy to hear from me and wanted us to meet and catch up on old times, I accepted his invitation… reluctantly.

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I lost my sleep and peace of mind after seeing Gary. He certainly wasn’t the same guy from school. He drove a luxury car, he had on designers outfits, he smelled like a million bucks, he had enough cash to throw around and to make matters worse, he gave me $800 after taking me on a shopping spree. Mind you, I was never broke, thanks to my mother but I liked the way Gary doled out bundles of crisp notes. I wanted to be like him. I wanted to be in control of my own money and not rely on someone else to get by.

That first visit to Gary led to several others. We became close and he began to open up to me about his type of business. Gary was involved in money rituals. I was scared at first but I was also fascinated by his flamboyant lifestyle so I decided to give it a shot. Besides, there was still no job in sight for me.

Gary took me to Prof (like he was called), who would instruct me on what to do. Prof told me that there were terms involved in the rituals. The long term wealth involved sacrificing a well loved family member. While the short term wealth involved a yearly sacrifice of two young girls for as long as I wanted to be rich (this happened to be Gary’s choice).. I had seven days to make a decision and get back to him. I thought about this long and hard then I decided to go long term. My mom loved me to bits and she could die for me so it didn’t really matter how she died eventually. After all, “all die na die”.

I returned to Prof after seven days and we set the ball rolling immediately. Getting Mom to Prof’s place wasn’t difficult because he had shown me what to do. She was like a lamb to the slaughter. She simply walked by herself into Gary’s car and sat down quietly. She couldn’t stop crying throughout the long drive to Profs. My heart was pounding in my chest. I loved my mother a lot but I had gone too far on my decision and it was too late to turn back…

When we reached Prof’s apartment, he wasted no time at all. He took Mom by the hand into his inner room while Gary and I waited to be given the next instruction. It was a very long wait. Prof later emerged from his inner room to inform us that my sacrifice had been rejected. He tried for hours to find out why that happened until he discovered that it was that time of the month for Mom…she was having her monthly period and that had ruined the whole ritual process. The sad part was that he had killed her before he made the discovery. Without any form of remorse, Prof apologized quite offhandedly for not my loss. I couldn’t decipher what he was saying. My head was spinning. My mom was dead yet the sacrifice wasn’t accepted. How? Why?

I can’t recall how I got out of Prof’s place because I gave him a showdown. It felt like I was having an out of body experience. Gary and I dropped off Mom’s body at the morgue while I returned home. I couldn’t keep the tears from falling, I was such a disgrace. I cried myself to sleep until I was woken by a phone call. It was dad’s friend. He got me a job in ExxonMobil Texas and I was required to be at my station as soon as possible. Heeeeey! I’m finished. There’s so much pain in my heart. My heart is broken. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and undo everything.

See where greed has landed me. What was I thinking when I decided to use my loving mother as a sacrifice for wealth? How could I kill the woman who gave her all for? I don’t have anything to live for anymore.
This is my confession. I need to see my mother. I have to tell her how sorry I am. There’s only one way I can see her and I’m on my way.

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