• Wednesday, November 29, 2023
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Caught up 2

How to stop being defensive in your relationship

The story of Val and Ibiene continues.

Val is a very emotional person. For him to storm out of the spa and also call to cancel his session means he still has some resentment towards me after all these years.

I couldn’t get him out of my mind in the days that followed. He occupied my thoughts from dawn to dusk. All these years, I never spared him a thought. Not for a moment did I ponder on what could have happened to him after he left for the United States but here I was day dreaming of what my life could have been if I had stayed with him.

I instructed the receptionist to call and reschedule another appointment but he declined. So I decided to take the bull by the horn, I don’t know what I really wanted from him but I just wanted to see him again. Atleast I owe him an apology for breaking up with him the way I did. I summoned the courage and called Val but he hung up as soon as he knew I was the one. I tried to call him again but he blocked my number. This was even worse than I assumed. When he said he wanted to stay as far from me as possible, he wasn’t playing.

He was making it difficult for me to reach him but I had a plan B anyway. I was going to stalk him on social media until I got his attention.
That was my plan but I was intrigued by what I found and decided to stay in my lane forever.

Val didn’t have an active social media account but his wife did, so I spent most of my free time fishing for information about him. His wife is a gorgeous international travel vlogger from the Dominican republic and they have three beautiful daughters. As I looked at the pictures and videos, I began to recall the things Val had penned down in his journal while we were dating. He had achieved almost everything I can remember from that book and I must say, I was impressed. He even went above and beyond my expectations by becoming one of the biggest real estate mogul in Ohio. I fell for a scam not knowing that I had the real thing all along. I could feel anger welling up inside of me as the tears flowed freely from my eyes. It was my turn to be heart broken.

Read also: Caught up

In one particular interview where a University in Georgia was giving him an honorary award, Val said in his acceptance speech said that he owed his success to God and to his ex for motivating him to be the best version of himself. I watched that particular video several times and I could swear that there was hate and disgust in his voice when he mentioned his ex. I didn’t need a soothsayer to tell me which ex he was talking about.

Another surprise I received was after I read Val’s book which I got from Amazon. He told the story of his humble beginnings from Nigeria to his big break in the United States. Not once did he refer to me or mention my name. Not once.

I knew there was no reason to stalk this guy. Whatever for? To what end? I chose this path and I have to live with it. This was my loss.

At the close of work each day, I had to drag myself home to the shadow of the man that used to be my husband. He refused to do any decent business and has resorted to hanging out with people of like minds and spending the little he has on alcohol. This is not the soft life I wanted but it is the life I am living now.

I found myself always going back to look at pictures of Val and his lovely family. So on this fateful day, I saw a picture of Val and his family and it had the caption:

“Back from Nigeria, hubby bumped into his ex and I wish I was there to say thank you to her.. but hey! I’m still grateful though… Because of her this fabulous man is all mine”

She was gloating but she was right, my loss was her gain a thousand times over and I could clearly see that she was living the soft life I was hungry for. That should have been me. Those kids could have been mine. That could have been my life but…

On another day, I decided to comment on a video that Val’s wife posted and the next day, I realized that I no longer had access to her page. Wow. I was blocked.

I never knew Val to be such a hard hearted person and I’m surprised to see the length he can go just to block me out of his life completely. Well, I guess I brought this to myself. I got caught up in the lie that Elvis presented to me and now I will be regretting that action for the rest of my life.