Body Shaming in Nigeria: When will we learn to mind our business?

“Ah, you’ve added weight!” “Your stomach is too big.” “You look like a bag of beans.”

For many Nigerians, these comments are so common that they hardly raise an eyebrow. They are often delivered with laughter, disguised as concern, or presented as harmless jokes. Yet, behind these seemingly innocent remarks lies a troubling culture of body shaming that continues to damage self-esteem, mental health and relationships.

In Nigeria, body shaming has become deeply ingrained in everyday interactions, especially within families. Family gatherings, which should be safe spaces filled with love and acceptance, often turn into platforms for unsolicited comments about people’s bodies. It is almost impossible to attend a wedding, burial, Christmas celebration or family reunion without someone commenting on another person’s weight.

One family member is often singled out and made the butt of jokes. Some relatives cannot greet you without first commenting on your appearance: “You’ve become too fat,” “You’ve become too slim,” or “What happened to your body?” Sadly, even those who dislike such remarks often repeat them to others, perpetuating a cycle of emotional harm.

The problem extends beyond the family setting. In workplaces across Nigeria and among Nigerians living abroad, comments about body size are commonplace. Many Nigerians working overseas have found themselves in uncomfortable situations because remarks considered normal back home are viewed as offensive and discriminatory elsewhere. Some have even faced disciplinary action at work after repeatedly making comments about colleagues’ bodies.

For those living in Nigeria, there is often no escape. At work, colleagues constantly comment on one’s appearance. On the streets, strangers feel entitled to make remarks. At home, family members offer endless “advice” on how to lose weight. What should be a person’s refuge becomes yet another source of pressure and anxiety.

What many fail to understand is that weight gain or loss is not always a matter of lifestyle choices. A person’s body may change due to medical conditions, hormonal imbalances, side effects of medication, pregnancy, stress, depression or other underlying health issues. Yet, rather than showing empathy, society often rushes to judge.

Mental health professionals have repeatedly warned about the psychological effects of body shaming. Persistent negative comments can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, social withdrawal and eating disorders. Some people become so traumatised by constant criticism that they avoid social gatherings altogether.

Imagine someone who is already making efforts to improve their health—going to the gym, dieting, exercising regularly and making significant lifestyle changes—only to continue hearing, “You are still fat.” Such comments can be deeply discouraging and emotionally devastating.

In extreme cases, societal pressure has pushed individuals towards drastic and sometimes dangerous measures, including unregulated weight-loss products, excessive fasting, unsafe medical procedures and cosmetic surgeries. Across the world, there have been reports of complications and even deaths linked to desperate attempts to meet unrealistic body standards.

It is worth asking: how many people have suffered silently because of our careless words? How many have battled depression, anxiety or poor self-image because family members, friends or strangers repeatedly mocked their bodies under the guise of “advice”?

There is a difference between genuine concern and cruelty disguised as concern. True care does not humiliate. Genuine love does not ridicule. Advice should only be given when it is requested, and even then, it should be delivered with compassion and respect.

Perhaps it is time Nigerians embraced a simple principle: mind your business.

Every adult has a mirror. People are generally aware of how they look. They do not need constant reminders about their body size. What they need is kindness, understanding and acceptance.

Words have power. They can heal, but they can also wound deeply. Before making comments about someone’s body, Nigerians must ask themselves one simple question: Is what I am about to say necessary, helpful and kind?
Because until we walk in another person’s shoes, we may never truly understand where it hurts.

Tomilayo Imade is a Nigerian writer and project management professional based in England. Passionate about social justice and human-interest stories, she writes thought-provoking articles on culture, mental health, gender, and public affairs. Through her writing, she seeks to challenge harmful social norms, amplify everyday experiences, and inspire meaningful conversations that drive positive change.