There is just that thing about the New Year that infuses unchallengeable hope in you- it does not matter what stage you are in life, there is huge delight about opening a new page, or having ‘that new sheet to write on’; as an outcome of this, we all typically decide to be a better version of ourselves. So, we design vision boards and write new year resolutions but sadly very few achieve all they have written; not because the intentions and plans are not right, but because, according to Julian Hayes II, a life coach, we hold ourselves back through self-destructive habits.
I thought I’d share with you today, six habits that can help you get out of your own way to success this year:
Stop the negative self-talk: “I could never lose 20 pounds.”“I’m so stupid, I could never do that job.”“I’ll look stupid and weird if I try to wear some of those clothes.”When you receive a compliment about your work, you say, “Oh, that’s nothing.”
These are the types of things most people say when suffering from negative self-talk. Self-talk is a normal process we all experience, but once it becomes filled with irrational ideas that are negative, then there’s a problem. The story that goes on in your head is a hundred times worse than the actual story going on in your day-to-day life.
Silencing the inner critic and putting a positive spin on things are two of the best ways to eliminate negative self-talk. Start by eliminating negative vocabulary, such as always, can’t, never (and ever), won’t, but, should, and try. As Yoda would say, “Do or do not. There is no try.”
Stop criticizing and judging others: Do you realize how quick people are to judge and label other people even without knowing them? To become the best version of yourself, you need to eliminate all negative energy. When you throw negative energy at people, you’re potentially damaging a person’s self-worth and self-esteem. You’re also throwing buckets of negative energy out into the environment yourself.
Those who are selfish and bitter with the world never finish first. Not always easy, but avoid criticizing and judging others by not assuming anything; pretend to walk in their shoes to see the situation from their perspective.
Read also: Formula for Next Level 2020
Stop the fear of failure: Do you tell people beforehand that you don’t expect to succeed or thrive in order to lower expectations?
If this describes you, then you likely suffer from fear of failure. It’s important to realize that failure is a natural part of life and doesn’t signal the end of the world. Especially as highly successful people, such as Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, and Bill Gates have all failed at some point in their life. Failure is needed because that’s when valuable insights are learned that can drive you to become highly successful in life.
Overcome your fears by analyzing all potential outcomes, practice positive thinking, have a worst-case scenario to ease your worries.
Remember: “Fear will do one thing and one thing only: hold you back.” – Kya Aliana
Stop the fear of success: If you get nervous when everything seems to be going well, because in your mind life can’t possibly be this awesome, so naturally something goes wrong as expected? Do you get close to making the major breakthrough, but something, somehow, falls through?
Fear of success hides in our subconscious and displays itself in scenarios like the examples above.
People are afraid of success for a myriad of reasons, such as fear of losing their identity, more responsibility being added, raised expectations, and not being able to handle success well. Success is a good thing, everyone deserves to live out his or her dreams and have a positive impact on the world. Handle success by staying authentic and remembering who you are, accept you won’t please everyone, and be comfortable with every decision you make.
Stop people pleasing: Do any of these descriptions sound like you?
· I want everyone to like me
· I’m scared/I try to avoid disagreeing with people
· I never speak my mind
· I never say no (I’m a yes-man)
· I never get angry
· I never tell someone how I feel, even when they make me angry
· I’d rather go along with the pack than stand my ground
If any of these describe you, it’d be great to tell yourself “No more!”
It’s time for you to stop playing the role of the ‘doormat’ and start becoming selfish and putting yourself first. For each second you remain in this people-pleaser role, a piece of you dies .People pleasers are taken advantage of, prone to stress and depression, develop resentment over time toward people in their lives, and are prone to health issues. Once you quit people pleasing, you’ll regain your sense of who you are and build up confidence.
Stop procrastination: Perfectionism is the mother of procrastination. Procrastination is another form of laziness. Procrastinators sabotage themselves from becoming the best versions of themselves. Procrastinators are sidetracked by insignificant factors that ultimately derail their goals.
There are many variations of procrastination. To stop procrastinating, make you actions precise and calculated, have some form of accountability established, and set your goals up in a way in which they are small, manageable, and easily achievable.
Have yourself a successful 2020!
