• Sunday, February 25, 2024
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Disorderly behavior

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It is virtually a settled matter amongst political scientists, philosophers and chartered accountants – every revolution is preceded by disorderly behaviour.  It looks as if Africa, particularly Nigeria, is not likely to be the exemption that proves the rule!!

Anyway, my neighbour, Kole who is an eminent lawyer is convinced that the revolution has already commenced.  It started during the Fuel Subsidy riots two years ago when the poor, the downtrodden and even the comfortable bankers, lawyers, chartered accountants, engineers, architects as well as Pentecostal preachers of abundant prosperity together with politicians took to the streets in protest – ready to face machine guns and tear gas.

My neighbour was shocked to discover that his security guard who had been his protector for many years deliberately left the gate wide open in the midst of the simmering turmoil that had engulfed Lagos and other major cities of Nigeria.  He was astonished at the betrayal by his trusted guard.   His rage was no match for the cool and detached response from the security guard:

“Oga (boss), we poor people are ready to revolt. This is our chance to take over the government.”

Regardless of the fact that the riots fizzled out after a matter of days and normalcy has since been restored on the basis of “Kolokugboku E” (let each bury their dead), our nation has been mirred in an unrelenting series of disorderly behaviour.

Even our President and Commander-In-Chief of the Armed Forces of Nigeria was sufficiently provoked and aggrieved to declare on CNN’s “Breaking News”

“I think there is a difference between debates and insults.  I reject insults; and the fact that I am a public officer does not give anybody the liberty to insult me.   Most of the time you cannot detach the Office of the President and honour of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.”

In the same vein, the Minister of Finance and Co-ordinating Minister of the Economy, Dr. (Mrs) Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala admonished the Chairman of the House of Representatives Committee on Finance:

“I have uttermost respect for the committee and expect same from you.  I’m a Minister of the Federal Republic. When you invite Ministers you should treat them with respect.  We can’t be invited and be abused.”

We also have the BBC report regarding the former President of Nigeria, General Olusegun Obasanjo in a telephone conversation with a reporter from “Vanguard” newspaper over a scathing letter alleged to have been written to him by his daughter, Senator Iyabo Obasanjo:

“You are a bloody idiot.  You have published the letter in your paper and you are now looking for me.  You are an idiot.  Don’t ever call me again.”

As for the former Oyo State Governor, Chief Alao Akala, he went ballistic when responding to a question by “The Punch” newspaper reporter, Kunle Falayi, on whether he bleaches his skin:

“Bleach?  You are asking a very stupid question.  What do you mean by that question?   What gave you that impression?    Put it there in your report that I said you are very stupid to ask me that question.   Don’t ever ask me that kind of question again. What you don’t know; you don’t know.”

It was predictable that FOX television would seize on “The Guardian” newspaper front page report on October 30, 2013 for its Christmas special on “Africa, Democracy and Kleptocracy.”

Headline: “N776 BILLION STOLEN FROM FERTILIZER SUBSIDY,SAYS MINISTER”

“The catalogue of financial scams rocking the nation’s economy, may have found a disturbing expression in the nation’s agriculture sector,as about N776 billion has been allegedly stolen from the N873 billion released for fertilizer subsidy between 1980 and 2010.

The Minister of Agriculture, Dr. Akinwunmi Adesina, made the disclosure recently, at Ikogosi Resort Centre, Ikogosi, Ekiti State, during the Agbeloba AgriBusiness Forum 2013 organised by the state government.

Indeed, the minister pointed out that the looting, details of which were not made available, contributed immensely to the development inertia in the country’s agriculture sector.    Adesina, who was represented by the Director of Rural Development in the Ministry, Alhaji Azeez Olumuyiwa, said it was discovered that only 11 percent of farmers in the country had access to the distribution of the product. The Minister, however, said this has changed because of the transformation agenda of President Goodluck Jonathan, which now ensures direct distribution of fertilizers and other farm implements to the farmers through e-wallets.

He said: “In 2012, 1.5 million smalholder farmers got their subsidized seeds and fertilizers using their mobile phones.  This had an impact on 7.5 million persons. So far this year, over 3.5 million farmers have received their subsidized inputs via electronic wallet scheme.   The system saved the country about N25 billion in 2012.”

As for CBS it went to town with the “Nigerian Pilot” report on December 14, 2013.

Front page headline: “FEDERAL LAWMAKERS TURN OFFICES TO BROTHELS”

“Investigations by “Sunday Pilot” revealed that in Abuja, the nation’s Federal Capital Territory, federal legislators rank highest in sleeping with women in their various offices.   It was discovered that because most of the federal lawmakers are married men, they chose to turn their offices at the National Assembly Complex into a rendezvous where they meet with women of easy virtue for various businesses including sex trade.

These randy lawmakers according to our findings take undue advantage of both their own female staff, female members of the National Youth Service Corps, NYSC, female staff of the banks attached to the National Assembly Complex, female contractors among others who they shower with mouth watering sums of money to have sex with them right in their offices.  One of the lawmakers was alleged to have beaten up one of his female staff who refused to have sex with him in the office after closing hours.

Further investigations revealed that some of the lawmakers have introduced extra security locks on their office doors to make sure that nobody can get access to them unless at their own will while some even went ahead to dismantle the close circuit television cameras, CCTV, mounted in all their various  offices for security reasons just to hide their sexual escapades.

It was discovered that the female bankers in the National Assembly Complex as well as their contractor counterparts are more vunerable  to the “sex in the office saga” than others.  This according to a close source to the lawmakers is because while the female bankers do anything under the earth including sex in the office with the federal lawmakers to meet their target, the female contractors too have to open their legs for them if their proposals must scale through.

Recently, newspapers were awash with the news that one of the male lawmakers died after an alleged marathon sex with a female banker in the National Assembly.  However, family members of the deceased have since denied the allegation claiming that he collapsed shortly after a meeting with some business associates and died on the way to the hospital.

There was also another report that a federal lawmaker was hood winked and he lost a whopping sum of N5 million to a female contractor he has been dating for over two years.   It was alleged that the lawmaker had invited his lover to the office after withdrawing the money preparatory for a trip to his constituency and that after having sex with the lover, he slept off only to wake up two hours later to discover that the bag containing the money was nowhere to be found.  Sources said that he has not been able to trace the woman who had allegedly been visiting him frequently in the past.

By: J.K Randle