A dosage of cultural indulgence

If there is a group of people on earth that love making merry with a potpourri of music, dance, food, rites and culture, as well as, turning every event into a festival of sorts, it is Nigerians; from the East, West, North and South.
Anywhere Nigerians find themselves, they acclimatise quickly and it is a thing of joy. But then, we take some things for granted when we live in foreign countries, including the customary/traditional marriage rites or engagement as the case may be.
I have lived in Lagos for quite a long while and so I classify myself as a certified Lagosian. In Lagos, every Saturday is pegged as an “Owambe” (party) day with one gig or the other happening in different locations. I do get invited to some; but I always avoid the traditional ceremony/rites and only turn up briefly for the after party, mostly referred to as reception and then run back home.

After a while, I began to ponder what really goes on during these occasions; what do the rites mean? I really desired to know, and so when I got an invite to attend the traditional wedding ceremony of Motunrola Morenisike, daughter of Chief Foluso Babu Akinbobola, a frontline advertising guru and chairman, Media Link, to her heartthrob, Olanrewaju Oluwole, son of late Prince Messiah Esolowon, I accepted willingly, thinking surely the opportunity has come to finally find out what goes on.
The event was scheduled to start at 12 noon, at one of those lovely event centres littering the landscape of Ikeja. So, I braced the usual Lagos traffic and got there just before one o’clock, and good enough the event was underway already. It was a gold and white affair, quite regal and charming.
Again, I thought to myself, Nigerians like everything in abundance; marriage is now a three course meal, as the couple goes to the Registry, and then the Church or Mosque and then the traditional; each gulping its own share of cash.
Anyway back to the main thing, this event was lively, thanks to the woman in-charge of the whole affair, a professional master of ceremony in the traditional rites, and she really knew her onions, skilfully coordinating several sections of the affair to ensure strict adherence to the traditions.

I later got to know that she is referred to as the ‘Alaga Ijoko’, the traditional wedding coordinator for the bride’s family. The groom’s family also engaged the services of ‘Alaga Iduro’ (the standing mc) and both are custodians of the wedding traditions.
While proceeding into the marriage hall, Olanrewaju and his entourage, were barred from entering until he paid a stipend and then they were ushered in by the Alaga Ijoko
In course of the festivities, there are several stages of the event, which calls for cash or levies taken by different recipients. The bride has her share; the Alagas’ have theirs and also the young ladies who read the letters.

I marvelled at the level of creativity with which the two Alagas’ issued supposed fines and requested money for various reasons. A representative from the Olanrewaju’s family was asked to bring in the proposal letter, which is usually nicely written and decorated in a beautiful frame. The letter was read by the groom’s younger sister or a relative (I think).
Then, I observed the second letter, which is the letter of acceptance from Motunrola’s family and it was paid for before being read by her younger sister or relative of the family. The person reading the letter of acceptance was then sprayed money as she danced and handed the letter to the mother of the groom who then held it up, displaying to all guests that the bride’s family has accepted their proposal. This was an interesting affair.
The Alaga Ijoko made the groom do a lot of things including dancing, jumping, prostrating and begging for his bride, at a point he had to call her a string of lovely endearments; it was all part of the fun. And then there were the parts where the groom had to lay down along with his friends, no matter what colour they had on, they had to comply.
In fact, it was lots of fanfare, and monies ranging from N500 to N1000 denominations, were given for several things such as; entrance fee, fees to unveil the bride, money to ask for the mother’s consent, money for all the male children and female children from each families among other things.
Throughout the event, money was not taken from Motunrola, though she went through some laid down procedures such as kneeling down in front of her parents and parents-in-law for prayers and then was asked to sit in between her parents-in-law to signify that she was now part of her husband’s family.

Afterwards, she was ushered to the stage where her husband, Olanrewaju, was seated, awaiting her. She was then asked to dance to him and place his ‘fila’ (traditional cap) on his head, signifying that she has crowned him as her king. She was also asked to kneel before him for prayers and open her hand bag for him to give her money. According to the Yoruba tradition, this is to show that the husband will continue to take care of his wife.
Unlike Olanrewaju, Motunrola, the bride, was the last person to arrive the venue. The Alaga Ijoko then showed her all the ‘Eru Iyawo’ (gifts for bride) brought by the groom, which included yams, drinks, honey, clothes, jewellery, shoes and bag and others and ask her to pick her favourite item. The bride is expected to pick up a holy book (either the Bible or Quran depending on their religion) with the engagement ring on top of it as her most valued item. This would be shown to the audience, after which she would dance back to her husband who will place the ring on her finger.
While the Motunrola was resplendent in her white Aso-oke (traditional hand woven material) with rose gold stone embellishments, Olanrewaju looked cool in the same coloured Aso-oke, agbada (flowing robe) with rose gold embroidery, they did make a lovely sight to behold.
Shuga Entertainment Band was on hand to serenade the guests and they did a great job; from the oldies to highlife, Juju, Afro-pop and the works. Trust me, if you have a DJ or MC with no juice, a live band will always save the day!
I really like weddings because it is a time for different groups, societies and associations to turn up and do their thing. As expected the proud father of the day, Chief Foluso Babu Akinbobola had his group of friends, as well as, professional colleagues turn up at the event, but apart from his friends, he was the chief host and so, was up and about to ensure all the guests were well attended to (of course, there was a party planner, but it is never the same thing).
After the traditional engagement, Motunrola and Olanrewaju had a change of attire and then it was party time, with lots of food and drinks, starting with small chops (Nigeria’s appetiser). The mobile drinks bar placed at a strategic corner of the hall, ensured everyone had their choice drink. For the first time, I tried ewedu and amala, local cuisines garnished with intimidating chunks of meat, and found them very tasteful and nourishing.
Well, like Mavi Isibor said in her write up on Etiquette, “To succeed in the world today, there is need for global mindedness and this is achievable by sharpening your cultural intelligence,” indeed my cultural intelligence has been sharpened after attending this wedding event. Congrats to the new couple!

 

Mabel Dimma