Be the Friend You’re Looking For – A review of Temitope Aiyedun’s Friendships

Title: Friendships

Author: Temitope Aiyedun

Year of Publication: 2024

Number of Pages: 127

Category: Self Help

Friendships these days can feel complicated. Some are one-sided, others are filled with secrecy, and sometimes it seems like people have forgotten what true friendship really means. This is exactly why this book feels both timely and necessary.

Temitope Aiyedun establishes credibility early on. It is clear that she values relationships and has built meaningful connections, which makes you more comfortable trusting her voice on the subject. She truly embodies the idea that if you show yourself friendly, you will attract genuine friendships.

One of the strengths of this book is how direct it is. From the title to the chapter headings and the content itself, the author wastes no time getting straight to the point. She clearly defines what real friendship should look like and does not shy away from addressing the mistakes many of us make. If you have struggled to build or maintain friendships, this is a book you will want to hold on to and revisit.

What makes this book even more engaging is the author’s honesty. She doesn’t present herself as perfect or act like a saint. Instead, she shares personal stories where she has been both a good friend and, at times, a bad one. This level of vulnerability makes the book deeply relatable. In fact, if you are one of her friends, you might just recognize a shared moment, you will know it when you get to that paragraph.

As you read, the book becomes deeply personal. It stirs memories of friends who have stood by you, and others who may have hurt or disappointed you. At certain moments, it feels like the author is pointing fingers, challenging you to reflect on your own actions. You may find yourself torn between accepting the truth and defending your past behaviour.

Advice flows throughout the book. Left, right, and centre. It is honest and, at times, demanding. If you are not ready to put in the effort that true friendship requires, you might feel overwhelmed. But what makes the book stand out is the author’s empathy. She openly acknowledges her own mistakes and growth, which softens her tone. Rather than sounding judgmental, she comes across as someone learning alongside her readers.

A particularly powerful reminder in the book is the importance of being your own friend. While this may seem confusing at first, it ultimately highlights the need for self-awareness, self-respect, and personal growth as the foundation for healthy relationships.

You will also come across lines that linger long after you have finished reading, simple yet powerful reminders like “stay with people who value you.” These moments give the book a lasting impact.

In the end, the message is clear: keeping friendships requires effort and intentionality. It may not always be easy, but it is certainly worth it. This book serves as both a guide and a mirror helping you not only understand friendship better but also become a better friend.

About the reviewer

Titilade Oyemade is a business executive in a leading organisation and holds a degree in Russian Language. She’s the convener of the Hangoutwithtee Ladies Event and the Publisher of Hangoutwithtee magazine. She spends her weekends attending women conferences, events and book readings. She loves to have fun and to help other women have the same in their lives. Email: [email protected] Social: @tiipreeofficial