Soft life needs hard work

Every three Eke market days, you will hear me shouting about “soft life.” I’ve told my friends who care to listen that my ‘independent woman’ era was nothing but childish bravado. These days, if someone wants to come and share – or even shoulder – some of these bills, I will not argue. I’m tired, abeg.

Honestly, at some point over the last few years, “soft life” became the goal. We were all over the survival, the hustle, the “by fire, by force.” We want the soft life. Ease. Comfort. Financial stability. Good food, restful sleep, stress-free holidays, and a calendar that doesn’t feel like punishment.

And to be honest, that’s fair enough. Deserved, even. We have tried.
After years of glorifying burnout and calling it ambition, many people, especially women, are choosing a different path. A softer one. A more intentional one.

But somewhere along the way, we’ve started confusing desire with design. Because creating soft life is hard work.
And I had a rude reminder of that fact a week ago.

For years, I’d had my “old reliable” client – a brand I had worked with for seven years, managing their social media and digital technology needs for a substantial monthly fee. It was consistent, comfortable income – I had come to know their brand almost as well as mine. The work was predictable and, if I’m being honest, it also made me…relaxed.

I still worked. I still had other clients. But I wasn’t as aggressive with business development as I could have been. I wasn’t chasing as hard. I wasn’t pushing as intentionally.

Because in the back of my mind, as long as thirty days hath September, there was always that cushion.

This month, however, the client packed up. Just like that. Bless them, they didn’t even have a drawn-out exit plan. Life just happened as it has been lifing for so many SMEs recently, and that was that.
When I tell you it spun me.

I had become so comfortable with something that was never guaranteed.
I had to rally, so I opened spreadsheets and vision boards with the quickness.
I started reviewing income streams, projections, gaps. I revisited the goals I had set at the beginning of the year – all the targets I had nodded at confidently in January were now staring at me unfulfilled at the end of April.

And I had to ask myself a very sincere question: Was I truly building the life I say I want, or was I coasting on what had been working?

Because soft life? It is not a game for small children. It takes years to build. Planning. Strategy. Pensions. Property. Stocks. Investments.

Coasting feels like progress because things are moving. Money is coming in. Work is happening. You’re busy.
But long-term stability asks a different question: Is this sustainable? Is this intentional? Is this leading somewhere?
There’s a version of soft life that social media sells us, one that looks like aesthetics and ease. The brunches. The travel. The “rich aunty” vibes. The “I’ve figured it out” energy.

But what people don’t see is the backend. The spreadsheets, the uncomfortable reviews, the sleepless nights, the disciplined decisions, the diversification of income streams. The constant learning – gosh!
Dreams don’t build themselves.
And they certainly don’t sustain themselves.

If anything, dreams are expensive. Not just financially, but mentally. They require planning and a willingness to confront reality, even when reality is inconvenient.
That was my lesson.

I had to wake up this April.
I realised that I had unintentionally allowed stability to reduce my sharpness. I had leaned on something reliable without asking whether it was enough or secure long-term.
And that’s a trap many professionals fall into.

A good job. A steady client. A consistent income stream. It creates a sense of safety. That’s not to say that safety is a bad thing. But unexamined safety is risky. You still have to come to the table periodically because industries change. Businesses pivot. Clients leave. Roles evolve.

And if your strategy hasn’t evolved alongside those changes, you will feel the impact more than you should.
As for me, I went back to basics.
What are my actual income goals for the year?

What percentage of my income is dependent on one source?
Where are the gaps?
What have I been avoiding because “things were fine”?
What needs to be built now so I’m not scrambling later?
Soft life, in its truest form, is not the absence of effort. It is the presence of structure that allows your life to feel lighter. It’s knowing your finances are not fragile. It’s having options. It’s being able to absorb shocks without everything falling apart. It’s waking up without that quiet anxiety in your chest that something unexpected could undo everything.

And that kind of ease is built.
So if you’re reading this and things are currently “fine,” I’ll offer you the same nudge I had to give myself: Don’t wait for disruption to force clarity.
Audit your life now.
Review your numbers.
Revisit your goals.
Strengthen the areas you’ve been neglecting.
Because soft life is not luck.
It is something you design, maintain, and protect.
With intention.
With discipline.
With strategy.
With sense.

Rachel Onamusi is the CEO of VN Sync, a UK-based tech company and full-service marketing firm with expertise in all aspects of media and a strong focus on digital strategy development and implementation. Dedicated to creating lasting impact, Ms. Onamusi is a sought-after speaker, thought leader, writer and frequent media contributor.