Signs you are being financially unfaithful

Financial planning is one of the critical decisions couples need to make before getting married. Do not forget “and they two shall become one.” Becoming “one” entails every aspect of your lives are open for scrutiny. However, only a few couples have gone through this process without some trepidation. In fact some married people will rather see each other naked before each other’s bank accounts.

But once the decision is made – usually the parties agree to merge the accounts; there is the knotty issue of staying faithful. Over the years, cheating financially continues to be a major problem many couples face. On several occasions it has led to the end of marriages as some partners struggle to get over the aftermath of being cheated on.

There are cases that the parties were lured into it unknowingly or they suspected but they were not paying adequate attention.

Financial infidelity is cheating, whether you knew it from the beginning or not and to sure, it require a series of secrets and lies that can devastate a relationship. Betrayal regarding money can be just as painful and damaging as other kinds of cheating. Hence, if you do not want to lose that beautiful relationship you enjoy with your partner the earlier you take these signs serious the better for you.

So what are the signs that you are on this path?

According to an expert, financial unfaithfulness starts small – from little white lies. One of the partners buying, for instance, a pair of shoes, handbags, or shirts secretly which eventually snowballs into full fledge money deception. Buying an item you cannot justify the need for confidently is a red-flag. Usually for such items your mind tells you to tell a simple “harmless” lie because he or she will disapprove if they discover it.

Hiding your money problems from your partner is another sign of infidelity. Some might say they are just postponing it, not necessarily refusing to tell. Whatever the justification for being evasive – whether genuine or not, is a risky venture. If you have lost some money from perhaps a bad investment decision or entered into a bad loan situation, the earlier you discuss it the better and since the other partner wasn’t aware of it from the beginning until the point when it blew up in your face, do not try to justify it. Admit your wrong then face the backlash of rebuke. Be willing to work it out.

Third, you recently opened a new account that your spouse does not know about. It doesn’t matter what your beliefs on the matter is, keeping it a secret is cheating on your spouse. Discussing money, says an expert, can be awkward, but it is important to have this conversation with your partner early on. To have a successful relationship you need to have trust and hiding money secrets is a huge way to break that confidence.

Not being forward with money that you withdrew from the shared account is another sign of infidelity. Usually, what follows this behaviour is stonewalling – an “I don’t want to discuss it” kind of flag which the other partner picks up immediately or the more evasive statement “I don’t ask you how you spend your money.” Given there could be times you might need to use money and your partner isn’t readily available be completely honest about it when you eventually meet them.

There are couples who prefer setting up separate account for some reasons. But an account that he or she is not allowed to access looks very suspicious. It is different when both of you have agreed that one person should only have access to the account probably to help keep the other accountable.

Avoid situations where you have to sound defensive when you are asked to account for expenditure. Finally, if you the type of partner that always want to control the accounts in the family and not allowing the other person access to it something is not right. There should be a mutual agreement on your expenses. This openness will prevent many night fights and foster a much healthier relationship.

 

FRANK ELEANYA