APC and the story of the woodpecker

In Igbo folklore, a certain bird called ‘Oturukpokpo’ (the woodpecker) once boasted to other birds that on the day his mother would die, he would not only pull down the iroko tree with his long beak, he would make a one-in-town casket there from in honour of his mother. He also promised to render some melodious tunes in her honour. No one doubted him because they were used to his exploits in the wood.

Unfortunately, the woodpecker was indisposed on the very day the mother was to be buried. He had a threatening boil on his long beak that he couldn’t just open his mouth. His mother’s body was consequently interred in an over-used mat to the amazement of those who had gathered to see the promised one-in-town casket and hear the beautiful songs from the woodpecker.

The woodpecker has strong, pointed beak that acts as both a chisel and a crowbar to remove tree bark and find hiding insects. It has a very long tongue, up to four inches in some species – with a glue-like substance on the tip for catching insects. So, woodpecker lives by pecking on wood, no matter how strong and how huge.

There was also another boastful character in Igbo folksong. She was named Okwuuka (Talkative). Okwuuka was a very beautiful bride, literally the cynosure of all eyes in the village. On the day she was taken home to her husband, her parents gave her a goat. When Okwuuka became pregnant, she went around the village boasting that on the day that she would give birth, her husband would kill her goat to celebrate her safe delivery. Other women envied her because it was a rare thing for a goat to be slaughtered for a woman at her first birth. They also waited. Unfortunately again, on the day she was delivered of the baby, there was not enough money to get her out of the hospital and so her goat had to be sold to make up.

Like the woodpecker and Okwuuka allegories, the All Progressives Congress (APC) has since May 29, 2016 manifested a level of incapacitation that has left many Nigerians tongue-tied. Here’s a party that struggled for power for many years and had profusely begged Nigerians to allow it exercise control over power, at least, for a moment. They had promised to make a positive difference, even if it meant staying in Aso Rock Villa for one day. Here’s a party that rushed to the media at a slightest observation of a slip from the past administration, and here’s a party that never believed that political power is a ‘crown of thorns’, it thought it was a bed of roses.

While it was on the sidelines watching the game of governance, it was as easy as ABC. It saw many scoring chances and wasted no time in employing all manner of derogatory words to describe those running around in the field. The APC saw how the abducted Chibok girls could be rescued under 24 hours. It saw how the insecurity in the land could be a thing of the past in one day. Each time Boko Haram struck in the last era, the then opposition party saw a weakling in Jonathan and wasted no time to call him unprintable names.

The level of unemployment in the country they also saw as a minor problem that the APC can take care of in a jiffy. In fact, while they were outside power, they saw a Nigeria that could possibly be turned into a paradise within one week. What mattered to them was ‘give us the power.’ But to be candid, the opposition was vibrant, always taking the Jonathan administration to task. Their propaganda machinery was fantastic. Lai Mohammed, who manned the beat did not disappoint, little wonder he was rewarded with a higher office – information ministry. The leadership of the party at the national level recognised the great job Mohammed was doing as a national publicity secretary, hence, the recent confession by John odigie-Oyegun, chairman of the party that it would be difficult to find a good replacement; a candid observation that has made a few members to kick in envy.

Despite the fact that the party is in control of the Federal Government, 22 states; majority members in the National Assembly, they have not been able to convert these good fortunes into something spectacular for themselves, let alone for the country.

Like the woodpecker, APC appears to be having a serious challenge that has made it difficult for it to sing d.r.m, let alone proceeding to f.s.l.

In every department of governance, the party appears to have failed; it is only potent at dispensing poverty and misery in the land all in the name of employing a style of governance never known in the history of the country.

But the tragedy of it all is that even those who were chair- leaders in the bashing business that thrived against the immediate past administration appear castrated at the moment. They have lost their voice. They too, like the woodpecker has contacted some bacteria disease that appears to have put their mouths out of business. They are all afraid of President Muhammadu Buhari. They are watching his body language, hence, the continued darkness, petrol scarcity, despite wonderful roadmap and brilliant articulations at an economic summit.

The other day, Ibe Kachikwu told Nigerians he was not trained to be a magician and the owls began to howl. But he was right. Before his appointment, he had told Nigerians that if the refineries belonged to his father, he would have sold off everything to start afresh as such refineries had become conduit pipes siphoning money from the country without meeting the needs for their existence. He argued that the refineries had outlived their usefulness and that there was no point pouring in more money in the name of reviving them.

But when he saw the glances from his employer, and his body language, kachikwu ducked. So, he has now elected to move at the same pace with his master, who incidentally is the senior minister in that ministry.

When in the administration of Jonathan the nation’s roads were reported as death traps and billions of naira wasted on road projects without commensurate result; verbal missiles were hurled at the then government. Today, many of those who presided over the laceration of that administration, as it were, are playing the Ostrich in their various beats. They now speak grammar.

Nearly one year after the inauguration, Boko Haram bombs have continued to fall in the north; there are even alerts that ISIS is trying to sample Nigeria, yet the President has spent a fortune attending all manner of security-related meetings offshore.

The Chibok girls are still in captivity; and despite the endless journey abroad by the president, investors have said ‘we are not coming yet’. Why would they come when there’s nothing on ground to show there has been a difference between yesterday and today? For instance, the Nigeria’s ease of doing business rating has worsened; insecurity and obvious lack of policy direction of the APC administration have all congregated to keep investors at bay.

Today, great talkers of yesterday have lost their voices. When they speak at all, they pour out words of apologies as if Nigerians had not heard that enough.

Many of those who went to the poll last year to vote for a change now dwell in the corridors of ‘had I known.’ It was not as if the option was in Jonathan either; they are beginning now to think that any of the other presidential contestants could have worth their stress, afterall.

Today, the APC has frittered away its electoral fortunes. The lesson in all of this is that people must not over-rate themselves. It appears to be a consensus opinion that the APC will never smell power again after this term, unless there is a remarkable change and an urgent departure from the charade that has been the order since May 29.