We all had dreams of being great, our aspirations were admirable. We were so young, yet so driven with a hint of naiveté. We believed each and everyone of us was destined for success. We got out and life dispersed us to different corners of the earth. Until the day we set aside to meet again did we acknowledge the folly of our youthful optimism.
The day before the reunion, I was the least bit excited and I didn’t want to go. I was disappointed at myself. This is not where I planned or hoped I would be 10 years ago. By now I should have travelled the world whilst running my own business. I should have had my own family with a beautiful house in the city and a beach house we could go to on short holidays. There were so many things I should’ve had but didn’t, and I was bordering on depression.
Funny as it may seem, this had not always been the case. Low self-esteem had never been a problem for me. Of course like every one, I had my low moments but they never lasted for long because I had always talked myself out of any funk I was in. I had risen steadily in my career and have been a pacesetter. In a nutshell, I had a growing career and to that extent I was fulfilled. My life was far from perfect but I was doing just fine… until I received the mail for the reunion and then my imperfectly perfect world was not so amazing to me anymore.
I slept at night with a resolve not to go but then I woke up with a determination to go regardless. What had changed?
I had dreamt and in that dream I was the star actor. Similar to real life, I had dreams and hopes at the very beginning but years after in that dream I had accomplished absolutely nothing and life was absolutely miserable. I had hated to wake up in the morning because there was nothing to look forward to. I didn’t have the love of my immediate family, no job satisfaction, no hope for a better tomorrow; I had no life. I was just existing without purpose or plan, and then I got a mail for the reunion. It was as if i was looking at a mirror of my life only that this mirror Immediately I went into the kitchen, took out a knife and as I was about to use it on myself, I woke up.
Waking up to my reality, I had a new perspective. My life could have been different. There was every possibility that my past accomplishments may not have been possible. All my family and friends whom I hold dear to my heart may not even be around and then what?
At that moment I was grateful for my imperfectly perfect life. Grateful for good health, family and friends, a good job and a hope for a better tomorrow.
Oluwaseyi Lawal
