Guilt

Not seeing anything, she stared into the beyond. Mind blank as much as it can be, yet so heavy with nothing she could ascertain. Upon realising this heavy void, she searched her mind frantically for what caused deep sadness within her, and then she remembered. It was a never-ending mission and she was filled with guilt for she had gone back on her promise to him. She promised that she would never forget him, but time had robbed her and made her out to be a liar. In a bid to punish herself, she began to cast her mind back to the past – the first day they met.

Back then she had not been the most patient person and he came with the genuine heart to eagerly learn the ropes of her trade, but in no time their hearts were tied together as one and there was nothing either one of them wanted to do to stop it. Every waking hour was spent together. They could not believe their luck, having found one another. But then something happened to change it all.

Such love was forbidden and they knew it, which was the reason it was kept secret for so long and there was no escaping the consequences. When the time came, they both knew and there was no escaping. They tried to avoid the consequences, but their efforts were fruitless. At the end of it, exhausted but believing they could battle against the odds, they held hands awaiting their fate and then it happened.

In the blink of an eye, she felt light; she looked down and saw that she was floating. She looked at her grip, but there was nothing. No hands, no him. Her gaze scanned the area until her eyes fell upon someone, but it wasn’t him. Then she realised that many other hearts had found another and joined to become one. That day was one of reckoning for them all. Countless floaters in the atmosphere all separated from their loves and there was nothing that could be done.

In an instant, she was no longer floating. She was in an unfamiliar place, but she could guess where she was. This was to be her home for eternity. It was empty and lifeless. At first, she was complacent and had resigned all hope until she remembered him and then she began to think. She dwelled in her thoughts day and night, for that is all she had and he alone occupied them. She saw flashes of the past that would never be again and she cried herself to sleep daily and was calm while she slept until she woke up again and remembered her woes.

She decided to look for a way out of her daily misery. Her plan was to set out on a constant mission to find the one whom her heart desires. This mission focused her mind, kept him alive. Even though she knew deep down within her that the end of them had already come, she struggled until she could struggle no more and decided to live with the guilt of forgetting him.

Oluwaseyi Lawal