Dear jack, I have been married for 9years and when i married my husband, he did not have big stomach. As the years passed by, i discovered that as he develops big tummy, our love making suffers greatly. He has turned into a wet blanket even worse. Most times, he is always exhausted and snores hugely. When he is in the mood, it hardly lasts and this has created a huge gap in our marriage that I fear for the worst. He always feel grieved and sad after love making (which ofcourse has gone sour anyway) and i have been expecting him to address this issue. I do not know how to approach him on this sensitive issue. We need your help before it destroys my already cracked marriage totally.’’
Pot belly…..micheline man…sparetyre, call it any ugly name you want, for a man whose stomach looks like a woman about to give birth any time hardly get a an excellent grade in the bedroom.
First let me trash this funny idea we have in Nigeria that men who have big tummy are rich men and the ones that can feed very well. This is total crap and unintelligent perception so if you are reading this and belong to one of those people who feel, a man having a big tummy is trendy and a catch for women, you must have been on a fools paradise lane for long and creating a health hazard for yourself. Sadly, men who have this mindset can hardly agree that their potbelly affects them negatively. If you still doubt what i am going to say today, seek a quiet and honest time with a good medical doctor who understand the health implications of obesity.
Listen guys, there is nothing trendy, sleek, or even sexy about a man who has a tummy that can hardly allow him to climb stairs without feeling like fainting. Have you ever wondered the contents of your tummy? Why is it that you can’t even walk up to 20mins without feeling fainty? Can you even run with it? Then coming to what happens in the bedroom? Catastrophe huh? I guess you will hardly accept this openly huh? Yet it is giving you serious concern and all you do is to be consuming all kinds of stimulants/drugs but do these drugs work long term? Do they? Again how long will you continue to take drugs to keep your sexual performance going well? How about your sperm count? Are you aware this can affect your fertility as well? You see…when some men who are on the fat side refuse to join their wives on a fertility test, they know what they are doing. They are pretty much aware the fertility problem could be on them and they keep allowing the woman to be blame for it hence refusing to see a doctor together with their wife.
Hey, those who follow all my publications know I do not sweep stuff under the carpet just to make my readers feel buttered and happy. I do not tell you lies that you expect to hear so you can patronize me….bahhhhhhh!!!! You must hear that ugly truth about what is happening around you and it’s up to you to suck it up and embrace it…do something positive about it so you can live happily after. If you still want to bury your face in the sand and pretend i should not say the things i am saying, that is your call.
Protruding tummy does not come from birth so cut off the the story of genetics. If only the typical Western African men take pride in taking care of their body, then they would not be dropping dead suddenly due to overweight.
Is there a way i can just relate pot belly only to sexual problems without talking about the health implications like sudden death? No way! You guys must understand that i am doing you a great favour by opening your senses to understand that , carrying excess weight in your stomach does not only dimnishes your sexual urge /satisfaction/performance but very deadly as well. All those stories about a man fainting and dying suddenly is all related to too much bad cholesteral in the body. If only excercise is taken serious in this part of the world. For you to get men in this part of the world to work-out? Tedious assignment. The guys you see at the gym most times are the young ones who are not obese and trying to have six packs but you can hardly see men with pot belly dedicating time to excercise. All they do is to cover the potbelly in big agbada and caftan. When you see such men in suits? Oh golly…golly……boy do they look like someone trying to hang himself? Catching a good breathe while talking is a problem here lol!!! Pot belly and trendy suits hardly go together. It is better with agbada…so pleaseeee…..if you are on the heavy side and refuse to work on your tummy…stay off suits. You really look ridiculous in them no matter how expensive they are. Sorry guys…. I am just being honest with you here…..forgive me!!!
Now coming to my opening mail from a woman who has endured severe sexual issue with a husband that refuses to work on his weight till now, this woman happens to be one of those old school well trained girls from very good homes or else, she would be cheating on the husband big time. Oh yes, so much infidelity in today’s marriages that i very much ponder why people ever get married in the first place. Men cheat…women cheat…cheat me..i cheat..back…that is the order of the day in today’s marraiges. So sadddddddd huh?
First and forrmost, as a woman what you cook and feed your husband matters a lot. You do not have to impose healthy diet on your husband but you must know how to work around with healthy foods so that the man will not even know he is on diet. Sadly, most wives do not even eat healthy themselves so, who is going to save each other here?
Dear men…let me blow the horn for you loud to know that if you have not been doing your job well in the bedroom and feel your wife is cool with this simply because, she has not complained to you, open your eyes. No woman can stand this for long. She is unhappy so stop waiting for her to come up to you because she might not and could be cheating you without you knowing. Ok, if you care less if she is cheating or not, (which i doubt) your health might fail you so sudden that you might not be alive to do anything! This topic continues next week!
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JACLYN IWU
