Several cases of violent relationships of men killing women, women killing men or their loved ones go viral every time almost every day. For instance, the cases of Motunrayo, who recently killed her husband in Lagos, and Rofiat, killed by her boyfriend in Abeokuta and his friends, readily come to mind.
Also, Maryam Sanda was convicted of killing her husband and sentenced to death by hanging. Other cases of this nature who were alleged to have killed their spouses include that of Racheal Adetsav in Benue state, Eki Ekhator in Edo state, Udeme Otike-Odibi in Lagos state, Ejiro Patrick in Benue state, Tuddy Warebayigha in Bayelsa state, Ikechukwu Atansi in Anambra state, among others.
The police apprehend and prosecute the perpetrators following the law in most cases. However, this has not proven sufficient deterrence, as such acts do not appear to be diminishing.
Therefore, most people who report domestic violence to authorities believe they are not taken seriously or are not given the support they require. As a result, they are less inclined to seek assistance if their spouses assault them again.
Domestic violence victims are frequently trapped by their abuser due to their abuser’s isolation from family and friends, a lack of finances, fear, shame, cultural acceptance, and power and control.
The abuser also frequently believes that the abuse is a right, that it is appropriate, that it is justified, or that it is unlikely to be reported.
Domestic violence victims are thus faced with physical aggressiveness, sexual coercion, psychological abuse, and controlling behaviours from their partners.
This has a physical and mental impact like physical disabilities, persistent health difficulties, and severe psychological illnesses in victims, which can also be linked to other types of violence, and serious have stringent health and economic consequences.
Spousal abuse is now a substantial public health issue. It has resulted in a slew of other harmful health consequences. These include a variety of chronic illnesses that impact the heart, digestive, reproductive, muscle and bone, and nervous systems.
It can result in adolescent pregnancy, unintended pregnancy in general, miscarriage, stillbirth, intrauterine haemorrhage, nutritional deficiency, abdominal pain, other gastrointestinal problems, neurological disorders, chronic pain, disability, and non-communicable diseases such as hypertension, cancer, and cardiovascular disease.
Survivors may suffer from mental health issues such as sadness, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Studies have also shown a link between intimate partner abuse, depression, and suicidal attempt.
Also, domestic violence victims are more likely to engage in risky activities, including smoking or narcotics, excessive drinking, and sexual risk.
Furthermore, domestic violence can also result in homelessness, injury, or death of victims, increasing healthcare costs by billions of naira, and reducing productivity at work.
Thus, instead of emphasizing that reactionary tactics like self-defence are the only way to deal with the issue, focusing on proactive measures like consent training will empower people to understand the impacts of domestic violence and consent in a fair way.
Read also: Valentine’s day: Love shouldn’t hurt (1)
There should be many more crime prevention efforts, such as programs in schools about healthy relationships and gender equality, more advertisements about the subject, etc.
Furthermore, parents and schools must also teach children and teenagers how to respect themselves. We must instil the value of healthy relationships in our children. Our job as a society is to provide straightforward methods for learning how to prevent violence.
We should continue to educate the value of consent and the consequences of violent behaviour, just as we teach women self-defence. This knowledge should not be limited to women but should be available to everyone.
In conclusion, while it is suitable for such catastrophes to be covered by the media, what happens afterwards? Is it true that we’re making a difference? Do we want to make a change?
Therefore, let’s not only talk about love; let’s figure out how to make a difference. Valentine’s Day may be another chance for the abuser or killer husband or wife. So this Valentine’s Day should not only be about displaying our idealized version of love.
It should also be about recognizing the folks (both men and women) suffering in silence due to being in love.
Busayo Aderounmu is an economics lecturer at Covenant University, Ota, Ogun State
