Enhancing social skills at work

“How dare you speak to me like that? I’ll give you a piece of my mind!” Helen (not her real name) yelled back at her colleague.
“This is absolute rubbish! You mean you can’t think through this task?” Mr. Koye (not his real name) lashed out at a team member over her submitted report.
“You must be very stupid!” the MD shouted at his secretary for bringing him the wrong document to sign.
“Ade, I’ve reviewed your contributions, and they’re very weak. They simply won’t fly,” Joke remarked in response to Ade’s suggestions during the team’s virtual meeting, with over 10 participants, including entry-level officers.

We’ve all seen or heard of dramatic emotional outbursts like these in the workplace. Yet, the workplace is supposed to be fun, interactive, engaging, and collaborative. However, emotions often take a toll on us, creating barriers with negative feelings or bridges with positive ones. The challenge is that emotions are not constant; they are fluid and situational. You may be happy at work today and upset in the same place tomorrow.

Daniel Goleman once said, “If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” Research suggests that 80% of our success in life is determined by the emotional intelligence (EQ) we possess.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise and choose how we behave; it shapes our interactions with others because, as social animals, we are constantly engaging with those around us. In the workplace, emotional intelligence is crucial to success. People with high EQs communicate better by expressing themselves clearly and listening actively. This improves understanding, helps to resolve conflicts, and makes navigating difficult situations much easier.

Emotional intelligence enhances our social skills at work by fostering networking and relationship-building with colleagues and stakeholders. Collaboration is essential—it fosters teamwork and encourages the appreciation of diverse perspectives.

It also provides strategies for managing conflicts, finding win-win solutions, and negotiating effectively. People are diverse, shaped by their backgrounds, education, culture, and experiences. Improved social skills can create connections, enhance collaboration, and align goals to achieve common objectives. Additionally, non-verbal cues—such as facial expressions and body language—play a significant role in our social interactions. Recognising these cues is essential for improving communication.

By incorporating emotional intelligence, workplaces can foster an atmosphere where cooperation and empathy become the cornerstones of daily interactions. This not only enhances communication between employees but also reduces conflicts as individuals become more attuned to the emotions and perspectives of their colleagues.

When emotional intelligence is prioritised, it creates a ripple effect—leaders are more compassionate, teams are more cohesive, and individuals feel valued, boosting overall morale and job satisfaction.

Emotional intelligence, after all, draws from the broader concept of social intelligence, emphasising the importance of understanding and navigating complex social dynamics. In such an environment, people don’t just work together; they build meaningful relationships, leading to a more harmonious and productive workplace where creativity and collaboration thrive.

In conclusion, Goleman further stated that emotional intelligence includes the ability to motivate oneself and persist despite frustrations, control impulses, delay gratification, regulate moods, and keep distress from overwhelming the ability to think clearly. It also involves the capacity to empathise and manage one’s own emotions. To grow our social skills, we must intentionally foster positive emotions and minimise negative ones.