Speaking on the role of mothers, Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States once said, “It is the task of humanity… if the mother does not do her duty, there will either be no generation, or a next generation that is worst than none at all.”
Sincerely, mothers are essential to human life, and their roles go beyond childbearing. Let us think about the roles of an African mother, especially when the husband is not around. She is responsible for shaping each child’s emotional stability, personality, character, and becomes the primary protector of his health and education.
The story of Osato, a mother of three, in her early thirties, is quite interesting. In all of her seven years of marriage, she concentrated her energy on catering for the children; taking them to school and bringing them back, while also running a shop in the locality. Her husband, Osariemen, who works in the Ministry of Defence, was the family breadwinner. Just a few years ago, he lost his job, throwing the family into near economic crisis. Osato, a Banking and Finance graduate, was compelled to dust her credentials and go job-hunting, eventually landing one as a customer service executive in a bank.
Like Osato, many women today are constrained by the economic situations in their families to join the workforce so as to earn income to supplement their husbands’ earnings.
The entrance of more women into the labour force has changed the family environment drastically. In more desperate moves today, most married women who find jobs in multinational companies, including banks, are strictly warned not to get pregnant until maybe after two years of service, as alleged. Those that turn deaf ears by getting pregnant within the two years of probation are shown the way out; those that obey retain their jobs at the expense of the future.
Due to various preventive methods employed to prevent pregnancies, most women end up having difficulties in becoming pregnant later, when they now want to, because the body is used to a particular mode. They end up with lots of money in their bank accounts but no child to call their own.
The trend is a recent development, but should it be allowed to continue?
Let us also imagine another set of mothers, who have no restriction at the workplace concerning child bearing, goal- oriented, goal-getters, career women, who work nine to twelve hours each day. Their schedule is always busy, even to the detriment of their health. They are rich, comfortable and find it adequate to get two house helps and a lesson teacher to assist the children at home.
Most of these mothers leave home at dawn before the children wake up and come home when they are already asleep. The saddest part is that some of their husbands can afford whatever they want, but they end up training house-helps rather than training their children.
Robert Shaw, a medical doctor, once said: “I believe the parenting trends that have evolved over the last 30 years promote the development of unattached, uncommunicative, learning-impaired, and uncontrollable children. This, in my opinion, is quite true to our society today, it should be discouraged for the future of our world.”
If this trend is not discouraged, Africa and Nigeria will drift to the edge just as in Germany, where citizens are no longer interested in childbearing.
Few years ago, the German government passed a legislation removing taxes from any item that had to do with childbearing and upbringing, in order to encourage its citizens to bear children.
Imaging if this trend continues in the next 20 years to 50 years, Germany would be taken over by foreigners with its negative implications.
One is not advocating that women should not join the labour force and become independent, especially in the face of continuing economic recession all over the world, but the fact is there should be moderation to being an ambitious career mother.
This can be made worse in this era of gender mainstreaming in the workplace. As a mother, you should know when to stop, when to move and when to continue. After bringing up children, one can afford to do anything without making the children go through tough times. Otherwise, they would have laboured in vain because these children will grow up to scatter the wealth that had been painstakingly acquired over the years.
A young Brazilian called Juliano once said about his mother: “When I was five years old, my mother had a promising career. With the birth of my sister, however, she decided to leave her job in order to care for us. Counsellors at work tried to dissuade her from leaving, saying that after her children married and left home, everything she had done for them would be lost – that she was investing in something that would bring no return. But I can say that they were wrong, I will never forget her demonstration of love.”
(This proposition may not appeal to all women, for various reasons. But certainly some will consider it after going through this piece; indeed, some are even practising it, and its benefits may even be evident to them now.)
When as a mother you do what is right now, your children will not forget and you will have peace at old age. When you don’t, your guess is as good as mine.
Our mothers in legislative houses should intensify bills that would bar organisations and institutions from erecting imaginary barriers against young mothers bearing children.
On March 8, 2003, Kofi Annan (late), a former UN secretary general, summed up the role of a mother thus: “Study after study has shown that there is no effective development strategy in which women do not play a central role. When women are fully involved, the benefits can be seen immediately; families are healthier and better fed, their income, saving and re-investment go up. And what is true of communities and, in long run, of whole country.”
OSA VICTOR OBAYAGBONA
