Weddings are a unique aspect of Nigeria’s culture and national integration. This is evident in the glitz and glamour that surround the weekly weddings held all over the country. It is also telling in the way the different tribes carefully carry out this all-important, and naturally jollof-rice filled ceremony.
Nigerian weddings are sacred, and the importance attached to the processes that lead to them is proof of this. The Igbos start the day with what is called Igbankwu, meaning wine carrying. The bride carries a cup of freshly brewed wine, cutting through a forest of young, catcalling men, to find her man. When she finds him, she kneels down before him to present the wine. If he accepts it, they both dance for the formal introduction and prayers. This is a culmination of previous stages of smaller ceremonies between both families like door knocking, where the groom-to-be family pays the bride’s family a visit. This visit is not done empty-handed in Igbo land. The visit is accompanied by several gifts such as kola nut, soft-drinks, dry gin and palm wine. This leads to another series of investigative visits to find out the origin of each family.
The Igbo women light up the occasion with their flamboyant elegance during the ceremony. The colourful mélange of George wrappers, headgear and coral beads gives the party a rhythm of its own.
The Hausa wedding is less noisy but no less glamorous; it carries with it a certain air of dignity that is hard to capture or define in words. Where people from the two other major tribes lament the cost of organizing a wedding, the Hausa wedding provides a simple and inexpensive way of getting married and yet having all the countless joy that a wedding present.
But it is the Yoruba way of conducting weddings that continues to define and redefine this aspect of the Nigerian culture. The Yoruba culture has coloured and supplied many local words for describing parties in the country such as owambeand mogbomoya. The wedding ceremony makes it clear that it is not just the wedding of individuals, but families. It is also punctuated by the most vibrant attires, assorted food and drinks and dance and music. It is a mark of the elaborate celebration put up by the Yoruba that we have a thriving asoebi industry and gele in the country.
Recently, however, some aspects of the Nigerian wedding ceremony have been modernised. To a large degree, the Yoruba have done away with the exorbitant bride price. They remind the groom with this token of generosity that their daughter is priceless, not for sale and should, therefore, be well-taken care of.
Also, for some class of Nigerians, it is not enough these days for two couples who love each other to be joined together in holy matrimony; it must come with some fanfare, paparazzi and online traffic. The new generation of couples have redefined how Nigerian weddings should go. If it is not heralded by a pre-wedding photo-shoot, trended on major online wedding blogs, and concluded in a destination European city, then it is not the wedding. Welcome to the birth of society weddings in Nigeria.
Between 2010 and 2019, several high society weddings have been held that shook the internet. Banky W and Adesuwa’s wedding party, both the fictional and the real, is perhaps the most glamorous of them all. From start to finish, it was a written stylebook for future celebrity weddings in the country, as it combined an elaborate traditional wedding with a destination wedding. There was a sentinel of Nigerians online keeping watch for the latest pictures of the wedding. Popular wedding blogs were also busy shopping for the latest photos to publish.
When the popular music personality tied the knot in 2016, the buzz was also frenetic. The internet kept vigil for photos with such tumbling energy that was not yet seen.
Even Africa Magic exclusively brought behind the scenes moments leading up to the wedding in a documentary called “The Wellingtons” in 2018. It showcased the hot celebrity fashion, makeup, outfit changes and the exchange of vows.
These two weddings showed Nigeria’s insatiable appetite for the beautiful and the fantastic.
DStv has released a new reality show, called Our Perfect Wedding Nigeria, to help lovers of weddings enjoy great wedding moments. The reality show, which is a platform to celebrate and spread the rich culture embedded in the Nigerian wedding, follows the couples’ love story as it unfolds. The show, unlike the social media buzz, captures the tension, the disappointments and surprises, the ‘thank God’ moments and the untouchable joy that come with choosing the perfect dress, cake, venue for a wedding.
Capturing weddings from different parts of the country, the show relays the fears and challenges couples face when nursing inter-tribal marriages. Couples share with viewers how these fears were overcome. It also shines a spotlight on the diversity of Nigeria that is a source of pride and strength, an anchor of our national unity.
Weddings have been a source of integration in Nigeria. A part of Nigeria’s indivisibility lies in the many strong ties by marriage scattered across tribes. These marriages have made identity both fluid and progressive and it is no doubt important to highlight this from time to time. Therefore, DStv’s attempt to bring to the fore one of our principal sources of national integration through a platform like Our Perfect Wedding is commendable.
Adeolu Atayero
Atayero is a Lagos-based Communications/Reputation Advisor
