IBB recounts love story with late wife Maryam in new book, ‘A Journey in Service’

Ibrahim Babangida, former military president, has recounted how he met his wife in his book titled ‘A Journey in Service‘, which was recently launched. The event also featured a fundraiser for his presidential library.

Babangida recalled first meeting Maryam, formerly known as Maria Okogwu, during their youth in Kaduna. At the time, they both resided in the unmarried officers’ quarters on Kanta Road.

The former military leader was instantly captivated by Maryam’s striking beauty, and their friendship flourished over the years. Despite his training stints abroad, including in India and the United Kingdom, their bond remained strong.

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Now 83, Babangida shared that he frequently visited Maryam at the home of his close friend and cousin, Garba Duba, whose father held him in high regard. This connection allowed him to spend more time with Maryam, further deepening their friendship.

“I first met Maria Okogwu (as she then was). As young officers, we shared digs in the unmarried officer’s quarters by Kanta Road in Kaduna, and I was now seeing more of Maria,” he wrote.

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“She was stunning. Her ebony beauty set off enchanting eyes, and her dazzling smile showed off a lovely set of teeth; when she smiled – and she often smiled – her face lit up, and her eyes danced. Duba was as much a brother as a cousin to her, and, on the back of that, I often saw Maria at Duba’s house and when she visited us at Kanta Road.

“I was very fond of Maria, and she, eventually, of me. There was more than an element of predestination in our relationship.

“It was at NMTC that I began to notice Maria more. Duba’s father was fond of me, so I was mindful that my bonds with the family meant that I had to be more cautious than usual, a factor that synced with my natural shyness.
“She and I remained friends and maintained that friendship through my early years in the army, which included sojourns abroad for training in India and the United Kingdom.”

The former Head of State, recounted how a near-death experience at the age of 28 ignited his desire to marry. After being shot in battle, he was left with a piece of shrapnel embedded in the right side of his chest.

He felt a strong sense of urgency to settle down while receiving treatment at Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH) in Idi-Araba, Lagos. As his parents’ only surviving male child, IBB recognized the weight of his responsibility to build a family and secure his legacy.

“This was the first time I recall seriously thinking it was time to find a wife as a life partner. I was 28, and it seemed to me that it was time to settle down,” he wrote.

“While I was in the hospital, the Head of State and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces, General Yakubu Gowon, had gotten married to his lovely wife, Victoria, with much pomp and military pageantry.

“I cannot deny that their marriage and the accompanying ceremony further focused my mind on getting married myself.

“Lying in my hospital bed, I had lots of time to run through the various relationships I had had and try to decide which of them would best stand the test of time. Time and again, Maria Okogwu kept popping into my mind with her ageless beauty and enchanting smile.

“I had settled on Maria as the woman I would wed before being discharged from the hospital, and as soon as I was discharged, I made my way to Kaduna, where she lived with her mother and uncle. I was anxious to share the good news with her: I had decided we were destined for a life together. I admired her greatly for her reserved nature and the fact that she was well brought up.

“I wanted to make my intentions known to her and was determined not to accept No for an answer. Fortune favours the bold, and it smiled upon me; I counted and still count myself lucky. Initially, Maria was highly sceptical of me as marrying material.

“She knew that I had a track record of being something of a man about town, and those were not the qualities she wanted in a husband. She was unconvinced of my capacity to be serious, and many people said as much to her.”
IBB said with the support of Muhammadu King, Garba Duba’s father, he was able to win Maryam’s heart.

He revealed that his faith was an integral part of his life so he asked her to convert from Christianity to Islam.
Babangida said he also promised Maryam that he would not take multiple wives, a practice he had seen cause turmoil in other families.

“I shared with her the fact that my faith was an integral and essential part of my life and that I would require her to convert to Islam,” he said.

“Praise be to Allah; this was not a difficult decision for Maria. Being part-Christian and part-Muslim at birth and already living in a Muslim household, it was never going to be wholly uncharted territory for her.

“She adapted with relative ease to married life as a Muslim. In proposing to Maria, I assured her that, though a Muslim, I did not intend to take multiple wives and bring up children from different women. I knew full well that my chances of a stable family life would be significantly improved if I avoided polygamy. I had witnessed close up – both among professional colleagues and in my extended family – the headaches and heartaches this led to, and that was not the life I wanted to live or to share with her.”

Maryam died from ovarian cancer in a Los Angeles hospital on December 27, 2009, at the age of 61.

Babangida said coping without her had not been easy, but the memories of their life together provided solace.

IBB married Mariam on September 6, 1969. They have four children together — Aisha, Muhammad, Aminu, and Halima.