• Sunday, December 10, 2023
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How to embrace life’s unresolved chapters

The secrets to a long and happy life

Life is a series of chapters, each with its own beginning, middle, and end. Closure, the satisfying conclusion that ties up loose ends, is something you often seek to find comfort and resolution. However, there are times when closure eludes you, leaving you with lingering questions and emotions. Stress increases your anxiety and need to have closure with a detrimental effect.

This includes psychological distress, such as feelings of anxiety and depression, with you questioning yourself – your judgements, skills, and abilities. In these moments, you must learn to embrace the beauty of uncertainty and find strength in the unique perspective it offers.

Closure is a psychological need that arises when you experience an unresolved situation or relationship. It provides a sense of finality, allowing you to move forward with a sense of resolution. However, closure is not always guaranteed, and there are various reasons why it might elude you.

Sometimes, closure remains elusive due to external circumstances beyond your control. For example, the sudden end of a friendship, a loved one’s untimely death, loss of a job, status or way of life can leave you with unanswered questions and a yearning for closure. Letting go of something that was once important can be difficult, and many people seek closure in doing so.

In such cases, you find yourself grappling with emotions like grief, confusion, or even anger. The lack of closure from internal factors comes from within yourself when you resist accepting the truth or struggle with letting go of your expectations. Unresolved conflicts or unexpressed feelings can hinder the closure you seek, trapping you in a cycle of emotional turmoil.

“It’s normal to want closure but realise you’re the only one who needs it.” Leslie Braswell

But you have a choice! Rather than viewing the absence of closure as a negative experience, you can choose to embrace uncertainty as a catalyst for growth. It invites you to explore different perspectives, challenge your assumptions, and find solace in the imperfect beauty of life. By acknowledging that closure is not always necessary for healing and personal growth, you open yourself up to new possibilities.

When you need closure, it is usually because the end of the event is significant to you, holding value and meaning. When closure is unattainable, you can find solace by seeking meaning in the unanswered questions and unfinished narratives. Every chapter of your life has lessons to teach, and even in the absence of closure, you can discover valuable insights and personal growth. Reflecting on your experiences, journaling, or seeking support from trusted friends or professionals can aid you in this process.

One of the most empowering aspects of not getting closure is the unique perspective it offers. It encourages you to develop resilience, empathy, and a deeper understanding of yourself and others. When you embrace the uncertainty, you learn to navigate life’s uncertainties with grace, allowing you to cultivate patience, compassion, and acceptance.

“Sometimes You Don’t Get Closure You Just Move On!”

Unexpected break-ups are happening on Facebook with users changing their status from a relationship to single refusing to communicate with the partner. It keeps them from getting the missing pieces to their mental puzzle about what happened causing confusion, ambiguity, and unresolved painful feelings. It became so common that Facebook created new tools allowing interaction after a breakup with former partners. People want the puzzle assembled to their satisfaction getting the answers to make it possible to move on.

If you prefer order and predictability with a low tolerance for ambiguity, you will struggle with when you do not get answers to move on. In contrast, if you are more open minded, creative, and comfortable with ambiguity are better able to cope with not achieving closure to get the answers you need. Psychologists have found that those who are consistently able to find closure usually have value systems that can easily incorporate answers to validate their world view like, “It is God’s will” or “Insha’Allah”, with no further explanation necessary.

Þ Take charge of obtaining closure – no one can do it for you.

Þ Take responsibility for your own actions.

Þ Allow yourself time to grieve, learn any lessons, and move on.

Closure is not a guarantee in life! Make peace with the unresolved. By shifting your perspective, embracing uncertainty, and finding meaning in unanswered questions, you can grow stronger and wiser. The absence of closure becomes an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery, teaching you valuable lessons along the way. Life’s chapters do not always end neatly, but it is through these unfinished stories that you can truly appreciate the beauty and complexity of your human experience.