A good friend they say is worth more than gold, in adversity they stand with us, in our successes they celebrate with us. Friends are like an extension of our siblings God gave to us, and true friendship is one of the sweetest gifts one can enjoy in life.
Just the way true friendships can alter the course of one’s life so making the wrong choice of friends can lead to destiny altering mistakes.
As parents we have a lot of guiding to do for our children. Firstly, we ought to live by example. Do you have friends whose principles align with yours? Can you confidently allow your children spend time with your friends or get healthy counsel from them? Our children watch us keenly and unconsciously walk in the path we have created and shown them. A man’s pattern tells us a lot about who he is.
Should we choose friends for our children? This is debate-able, because we say children should be allowed to make their own decisions when they reach the age of accountability, however you do not want them making grievous mistakes that can alter a lot of things as they progress in life.
Have you ever spoken to your child about what friendship means or who a friend is? Everyone has a different idea based on their values of what a friend should be. These conversations are very important to point your child in the right direction and they know what to look out for. They might not be emotionally mature and might be irrational with their choices or thinking that is why your guidance is of utmost importance. The good book I read says “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.” —Job 6:14.
This already tells the child that having a friend is a huge responsibility and you have to be kind to your friend. It also tells us that our friends are a reflection of who we are. Our children can not be friends with a junkie and then they say mummy I will change them, in no time your child becomes a junkie because he has secretly admired this junkie especially if the child lacks a healthy dose of self esteem. It is of great importance that you not only speak and teach your child about friendship but you also know the character of the friends they have right now.
Does your child exhibit behavioral traits that you think are borrowed from external transactions with their friends? Or do you still fall under the wagon of people who say “ they are just children they will out grow it”. Children are smarter than you think. Curb it before it becomes too late.
Friends should inspire one another, I remember speaking to a teenager who was 16 at the time and she said when I turned 12 I decided to be friends with the best brains in my class and I asked why, she said I was popular and everyone wanted to be my friend but they laughed behind my back when ever we checked our results , until I had a session whereI was asked to paint a picture of who I want to be with all the gifts I have currently, that was the tuning point and she said they are still her friends till date.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” —Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Iron thug say sharpens iron , so does a friend sharpen the life of his or her friend. Children are quiet impressionable and in this day and age the social and emotional pressure is a lot so as parent we have to deploy all the tools necessary within our power to help and teach them, you’re not picking their friends for them you’re only showing them markers and this also helps their decision making skills.
Children who are manipulative might be bullies and have the tendency to put others down with their words are these are not good traits of friendship. Children who use forceful means to establish their position or control your friendship groups are not the best fit for friends. As parents, you have to spell these examples out so your child can understand.
There is more to friendship than a big smile. Choosing friends is an important decision, and it is one that your children will have to make on their own someday. Teaching them how to do so now can help them avoid the pain of being bullied or feeling left out when they are older. This might seem like a daunting task but it is worth it.
Remember you are not raising a child, you are raising an adult who will in turn impact their world.
