5 things you can do to create a difference in your home

Let me start by saying that there are situations in marriage that feel impossible and overwhelming. This is especially true when your spouse is adamant, challenging, and refuses to listen or understand your perspective. They may not agree to a middle ground, making things harder, especially when dealing with toxic traits like name-calling, using abusive words, silent treatment, withdrawing privileges, or breaking the trust of the home.

All of these can leave you feeling frustrated and lost. I want you to understand that you deserve love and are meant to enjoy marriage’s connection and companionship. Your voice should be heard, and you should not be suppressed. This doesn’t dismiss your pain but offers a different strategy you can try.

Here are five things you can do:

1. Be Courageous

With feeling overwhelmed, you may experience anxiety, panic attacks, or even disrupted productivity. You may blame yourself for many things, or worse, begin to define your self-worth based on the negative words your partner has said to you. Your identity is key in determining how you move forward. If it’s shaky or distorted, you may seek validation and happiness from your spouse, which is normal, but you must be able to see yourself beyond the brokenness of your marriage.

Anchor yourself in God as He gives you the truth about your identity. This truth will free you from the negative perception your partner’s words may have created. Remember, your identity is a key part of your marital destiny.

2. Disassociate to Evaluate

Sometimes, focusing too much on your partner’s actions can cause you to miss the bigger picture. Disassociate yourself briefly and look at your marriage from a broader perspective. Are the conflicts due to personality clashes, differences in values, beliefs, or expectations? Is it the tone of communication or external interference? Are there ways things can be done differently?

By stepping back, you give yourself space to evaluate the situation clearly and take responsibility where necessary. This will help you determine where to seek intervention when it’s crucial.

3. Cool Off the Tension

Constant fighting, nagging, and shouting only makes things worse. Instead, focus on creating peace for a while. Let the environment shift to a more positive place. Choose kindness in your words and actions, knowing that this can positively influence your partner’s mood, even if they’re at fault.

4. Pray for Revelational Knowledge and Wisdom

When you don’t know what to do, sometimes, a word of wisdom or revelation from the Holy Spirit can shift your perspective. Pray for strength, grace, love, and unity, and resist the enemy’s work through strife and offenses. A divine perspective may be all you need to approach the challenges differently.

5. Get Professional Intervention

Everything mentioned so far is necessary, but professional help can be essential. If your spouse refuses counselling, you can seek it on your own to better understand what’s happening in your home. Then, work on encouraging them to join you for sessions. If they still refuse, consider seeking help from trusted parents or spiritual mentors who have access to both of you.

With these five tips, your marriage could experience a necessary shift. Getting external intervention might be the next step if your spouse refuses counselling.

If you’re in a situation where you want to improve the connection in your marriage, I have a video on my YouTube page that covers this topic. You can also book a counselling session to learn how to move forward, and I have a book that addresses marriage issues as well. Find more resources and take that next step towards healing. Visit www.nikefolagbade.com.