Can you give us a brief background of yourself and your educational background as well?
My name is Patience Aghafekokhian Etudo(Mrs), I am married with three grown-up children and I live in Lagos, Nigeria. I attended Our Lady of Lourdes Girls Secondary school Uromi Edo State, Auchi Polytechnic Auchi, Edo State and Fort Hays State University, Hays Kansas, United States of America. On completing My National Service (NYSC), I was employed to work with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC). I left the Corporation for further Studies and on my return, worked for National Telecommunications Limited (NITEL) for a brief period. I resigned from my job at NITEL to take care of my young family after becoming a mother for the first time.
What inspired the idea for ‘Running on Rocks’ and tell us what the book is all about?
This question is very interesting and quite simple. It was simply due to my experience and the experiences of others I know, the prevalence of the problem and the toll it takes on the psychic of the Nigerian woman. This problem is stunting the growth of the Nigerian woman, harming the family unit by creating frictions that could eventually lead to the dissolution of the union. So I thought why not share my experience and those of others and let people know that they shouldn’t be ashamed to discuss the problem to enable the process of arriving at a solution.
When did you start writing ‘Running on Rocks’?
It took a long-time for me to finish writing this book because It was emotionally draining. I would on some occasion abandon the work for months, but I always eventually summon the courage to continue. My main motivation was to share and get this problem out there to the larger society with the aim of triggering further discussions of the problem, and hopefully, ultimately proffer solutions.
In your book, you speak about women setting career goals, attaining financial independence, and the roles the men in their lives can play to help in achieving the aforementioned. Tell us a bit about this?
This is a very good question. The men are the biggest part of the solution. As I pointed out in the book, if the woman does not have the support of the man in her life, it is next to impossible for her to carry on and get on with it successfully. Remember there are various reasons ranging from jealously which breeds insecurity. Jealousy stems from the fear of the wife or partner having affairs with other men in her place of work or business. This insecurity can also stem from the fear of disrespect due to her financial independence. It can also be the fear that the kids of the union can suffer negligence due to the long hours of absence of their mother.
So you see, if the men in their lives are not supportive, the rocks on her path will almost be insurmountable. If she is fighting off the hurdles in the workplace or her business environment, whether in the form of sexual harassment or the usual discrimination against women at work and then returns home to a hostile environment, she would either bend or break! These and many more which I cited in the book are the reasons that it is pertinent that the men in the life of the woman must be carried along. I described the various means by which their fears can be assuaged.
What perspectives or beliefs have you challenged with this work?
The purpose of this book was to do exactly that. To talk about the problem and proffer solution. This book will convince the reader that the Nigerian woman doesn’t have to choose between her career and her family. Both can be achieved with the commitment from both the woman and her partner if there is that understanding and determination.
Have you always wanted to be a writer?
Not at all. Writing was thrust on me as a result of the events around me.
What is the most difficult part about writing for you?
It was difficult to discuss the very personal aspects of the book. I would sometimes wonder whether it was the right thing to do. At the end of the day, I always arrived at the conclusion that it was worth it.
What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your books?
I discovered in the course of my research for the book, how prevalent the subject matter is. There is hardly anyone that cannot relate to the topic.
What does success mean to you? What is the definition of success?
Success to me means identifying my goal/goals; go at it no matter what, until I achieve the set goal/goals.
If you could go back in time, what advice would you give your 25-year-old self about balancing a family and a career?
I would have been able to better avoid the rocks placed on the path to achieving my goals if I had been availed the opportunity to read this book ‘RUNNING ON ROCKS’.
Summary of ‘RUNNING ON ROCKS’.
The author documents her experience, as well as those of other women as they navigate finding a balance between effectively managing a family and their careers, thereby achieving financial independence. She detailed the uncertain future that women face if not financially independent and the rocks thrown on her path in her quest to pursue her career and achieve that financial independence.
The book goes into details about sacrifices the author made as well as the often-overlooked expectations placed on women particularly in the Nigerian society. Young adults after reading this book will be alert to what they should expect from relationships/marriages, therefore enabling them to prepare for what is ahead so that they do not have to give up their family for their career or vice versa. As the saying goes, to be forewarned is to be forearmed.
About the Author – Patience AghafekokhianEtudo is a Nigerian wife, mother, and the author of ‘Running on Rocks’. She was born on November 29th, 1959 in Edo State.
