Ekene Onu, a former UNWomen Empower Women Global Champion is the dynamic, soulful and visionary founder of Iconic Womanhood Circle and retreats for women, a vibrant social networking entity and system of strategic, comprehensive, and restorative events for high-octane and executive women.
A former successful pharmacist, Onu is an internationally recognised leadership and executive strategist, diversity and inclusion consultant, and women’s lifestyle coach, with a practice stemming from her varied experiences living and working across the globe.
She has been hired to consult for some of the largest and most innovative brands in the world, from ports of call in the U.S., to South Africa and Nigeria, adeptly accomplishing everything from formulating training workshops and employee engagement programs for Fortune 500 companies and notable institutions like:The Georgia Institute of Technology, Union Bank PLC, The Graca Machel Trust and more; to supplying both small and other large corporations with leadership training and executive development, project management, process improvement, and 200+ staff employee culture training, utilising corporate educational budgets of up to $23million dollars.
She also coaches executive women who are ready to elevate and improve their performance through self mastery, feminine leadership strategies and authentic life design. She has been called a master coach and a catalyst for powerful positive change in individuals.
She is also the lead coach for the Iconic Womanhood mastermind which is a 12 month leadership and business accelerator that marries the soulful with the tactical and prepares women to move from success to significance and create powerful thought leadership brands and platforms.
Every year, she holds the Iconic Womanhood Weekend, a 4-day feminine leadership retreat for high achieving women.
Share your formative years with us and influence till late
I grew up in a middle-class Igbo family. I was born in the US, and I came back to Nigeria for elementary and secondary school and then back to the US for university. I think my transatlantic upbringing has given me a broad worldview and has positively impacted me not just because I feel at home in Lagos or in Atlanta and every diaspora city in between, but also because I bring the wisdom of the diaspora into everything I do.
The other thing that has influenced me deeply is that I am the Ada of my family, which means that I was empowered to lead and at a very young age, I had the responsibility for my siblings and learned to think about how my actions and behaviours impacted others.
The final thing I’ll mention about my childhood is that I went to boarding school at Queen’s College Yaba, which was an incredible educational foundation. It gave me a solid academic footing and it also gave me social skills that still speak for me today. It also created a deep resilience and fortitude that saw me through many years in university.
In many ways, when you look at my back story, it is not a surprise that supporting women in becoming self actualised is my purpose and calling, I believe sometimes, God positions us in various ways to be able to live a life that prepares us for our life’s work, and at other times, He takes the challenges of our life and molds it into diamonds that help us shine bright when we begin to walk in purpose.
Why the choice of Pharmacy?
I never planned to be a Pharmacist, in truth, I wanted to be a writer. I remember in my freshman year telling my mother, I wanted to study creative writing and she said absolutely not! She gave me a few options and being a pharmacist was one of them. Stella Okoli, the MD of Emzor Pharmaceuticals is my mother’s older sister and that gave me a template of success, so I chose pharmacy from the offered choices. Interestingly enough, my mother says she has no recollection of this conversation.
Nonetheless, I have no real regrets. Being a Pharmacist gave me a great foundation and it served as a jumping off board and a safety net.
When did you know it was time to say bye to Pharmacy?
I hung up my white coat over 10 years ago and I can confidently say I’m done with that season of my life. I practiced for 17 years. However, each day I went to work knowing I didn’t want to continue doing it forever. I knew it was time to go when I had my daughter, and it was harder and harder to work long shifts and spend so much time away from her. Also, I found I was completely losing myself doing work I had no passion for. It was like a part of me was dying and I was becoming a drier, reduced version of myself who simply existed to work and pay bills. It was not an easy decision, because I would be leaving the security of a 6-figure salary in USD for the unknown.
I had never been an entrepreneur and I didn’t know if I could make it. Fast forward to today and I have a number of staff and can pay myself my old salary and much more. I believe in taking calculated risks, because not everyone is cut out to be an entrepreneur, you have to ask yourself some hard questions and tell yourself the truth. Are you prepared to put in the work? Are you prepared to invest in yourself and your business? Are you prepared to deny yourself some comforts during your building season? Are you prepared and humble enough to learn and be coachable? Are you prepared to fail?
As a former UNWomen Empower Women Global Champion, what is it about? How were you selected and what were your responsibilities?
I was nominated to apply, and I believe I submitted my CV and did an assignment, we were selected based on our region and backgrounds. My tenure was for one year and my responsibility was to drive conversations around empowering women along with launching a project to empower women. We launched the WOW conference. WOW stands for Womanhood, Opportunity and Wealth. I’m excited because from October 20th-21st in Accra, Ghana, we are hosting the WOW conference and Gala night again and we have some women from the US, UK and of course Nigeria who will be attending. We are doing it in conjunction with our 9th annual Iconic Womanhood Weekend retreat in Ghana. So, it’s going to be a rich experience.
Tell us about founding Iconic Womanhood Circle and retreats for women
I founded the Iconic Womanhood Circle because as an executive coach, I kept meeting high achieving women who were losing themselves in service of their careers or businesses. The way we have taught to pursue success is a masculine paradigm. When we drive for success the way men do, yet also try to handle all our duties and roles as women, we are the ones who suffer. We talk about women “letting themselves go” but we don’t ask why it happens. Wives and mothers tend to let themselves go because they are trying to hold on to everything else.
With all this, it’s no surprise that we often lose ourselves. That we often become dry. Lose our radiance, joy, passion and vibrancy. When a woman is out of balance with her feminine energy for so long, she can disconnect from her feminine essence and lose her vibrancy and radiance. She can lose her joie de vivre! She can become numb.
All that excites her is the next win at work because her masculine side is the only part of her that is awakened. So, the only thing she knows how to access anymore is ambition. We don’t talk about this. The cost of driving for success in your masculine.
I created the Iconic Womanhood Circle and Retreat experiences for high achieving women to avoid this. My CEO/corporate leaders/entrepreneur clients come to me for this.
Savvy entrepreneurs and executive women who are even just starting out or beginning to climb the social ladder invest in joining the circle to create a sustainable success plan that honours their ambition and their womanhood.
I help women reclaim their womanhood and when they do, they find their authentic path of balance. You can be successful and feminine. You can be spiritual and live luxuriously. You can be purposeful and have a life filled with pleasure as well.
Tell us about being an internationally-recognised leadership and executive strategist, diversity and inclusion consultant, and women’s lifestyle coach. How fulfilling has this been?
It’s extremely fulfilling. I was at a resort in the Caribbean and a woman saw me and exclaimed “The Iconic Womanhood Coach!”. It was shocking at first to be recognised, but it was very validating to hear how taking one of my courses had impacted her so much. I’ve been quoted and thanked in my clients’ books and even when they’ve been interviewed on TV and it is very affirming to know that I’ve been able to provide support for so many women I consider luminaries and also to those who are up and coming.
One of the things that particularly tickles me is when I meet husbands of my clients who tell me how much their relationships with their wives have improved because of their work with me, one husband told me he often listens in with his wife when she is listening to one of my courses.
You have been hired to consult for some of the largest and most innovative brands in the world, what do you believe is responsible for this? What is your sustaining factor?
I would still consider myself a small business owner because God is not done with me yet, but I’ve been able to attract some powerhouse clients without a big marketing or PR budget by leveraging two key things that I actually coach women on. The first is by knowing my iconic factors or what people call unique value propositions and leaning fully into them. I specialise in experiential learning and bringing soul into professional development. I’ve held leadership training that included kayaking and hiking and more. I have a deeply creative mind and I use that to create programming that sets me apart. I believe in discovering what sets you apart and leaning into it, instead of jumping into the ocean and competing and becoming cutthroat. I always try to find ways I can be the first or the only. The other thing I leverage is relationships. I’m not a transactional person and I don’t chase relationships with people just so I can get things from people, I truly care about people, and I show up authentically in all my connections, and it has served me well, because most of my corporate work has come through relationships.
Read also: Isimeme Whyte bags recognition at UN Women
How did you help in utilising corporate educational budgets of up to $23million dollars?
My focus with corporate work is in DEI, Diversity, Equity and Inclusion. Companies worldwide have become clear on the necessity of having diverse teams and inviting more diverse leaders to the table. My focus is on equipping such leaders to take their seat at the table and this is not about more “hard” skills acquisition but about intangible areas like psychological safety, meaning and creating a sense of belonging in settings where you are one of the few. It is also about gaining the soft leadership skills necessary to operate at the highest levels of leadership, so my programming also focuses on leadership development and executive coaching for senior leaders. I’ve been fortunate to do work in the US and I’m expanding more to do work in Africa for women in leadership.
In what ways have you coached executive women who are ready to elevate and improve their performance?
These days, I’m excited about working with executive women on creating Iconic personal and professional brands and platforms that will live on past their current careers. So many of my clients have rich knowledge and experience that needs to be part of their legacy. I’m currently helping my private 1 on 1 clients in defining and launching their legacy work. Another key area I coach executive women in, is understanding the balance between power and force and in leading teams. Some of my clients want to elevate by becoming more powerful, decisive and structured which we can take from the masculine and others want to find a way to bring their feminine side in more by becoming more creative, intuitive and nurturing. I also help my CEO and executive women clients in structuring their days and lives for maximum effectiveness without sacrificing their feminine essence and sense of joy.
In relating with women executives, what have you observed and what would you like to advise them?
I have observed that executive women often struggle with getting the support they need. Successful women tend to believe that coaching and support is for women who are broken or needy, and that because they are competent and smart, they should be able to elevate without any help. Also, many women have been programmed to believe that being strong means you don’t ask for help, so they often struggle alone. However, it’s actually the opposite, hiring a coach is about getting the support you need to rise faster and with less stress. It’s just the smarter, more elevated way to do things. Right now, if you talk to the top CEOs of the world, they invest in some sort of coaching support or the other, and they do that to get to the top and stay at the top. So, my advice is, invest in the support you need, you are the key that makes everything in your life work. We invest in everyone and everything else, but I ask women to remember that they are luxury worth investing in.
In what ways are you a catalyst for powerful positive change in individuals?
I’m a catalyst because I bring both mastery and life experience to the table. When I decided to become a coach, I invested in mastery, I went to Georgetown University and studied Organisational Leadership and focused on how to lead change. I also got certified in Emotional and Social intelligence, so I have a deep understanding of many methodologies that allow me to bring high level coaching to my clients, but the other thing is that I have my own story of positive change. I’ve been through many challenges in life, as the bible says, I’ve walked through fire and the smell of smoke is not on my clothes and this gives me great empathy and love for people because I no longer have a judgmental outlook on life.
One of my professors at Georgetown used to say, you can’t fix anything until you love it, and I’ve found this to be true. Love is the most transformational force on earth.
What day in your life will you never forget and why?
As cliche as it sounds, the day I gave birth to my daughter. It was a day filled with divine intervention. I was the most vulnerable and the strongest at the same time. I was in labour for hours and hours and the pain was intense. I wanted to give birth without surgery, but I had prayed for my doctor to have the wisdom she needed to care for me and so when she told me she felt concerned about the length of labour and was recommending a C-section, I let go and trusted her, I let her support me through her expertise. Later, she told me that she was so grateful that we took action when we did because the cord had been loosely wrapped around my daughter’s neck, and if she had continued to go through the birth canal, it might have cut off her air supply and instead of a miracle, it could have been a tragedy.
I know some women still think having a C-section is not natural, in fact, I once heard a Nigerian pastor say in not so many words that C-section was not good, but I think that is a belief that needs to be left behind. God uses many paths to heal and save us and when you have a professional, it’s important to trust their expertise.
What are your personal and professional challenges?
That’s a loaded question, because like everyone else, I have my challenges. Jesus said in this life you will have challenges, so I’m never surprised or devastated by them, I try to stay grounded in the belief that every single thing, even the painful things, are working for my good. So, even when I cry, I don’t cry without hope, I cry to release, then I dry my tears and put my lipstick on and get on with life.
I’ve been through life changing grief like when my dad passed away last year, and it was in the same year that my divorce was final. That was a hard year, because even while all of that was happening, I still had to be a mother to my girls and a leader to my team and a coach to my clients, so I had to lean on my resilience practices to get through it.
I had to learn to redefine myself while helping others, I had to become a healer who was and is still healing.
To every woman going through a difficult situation in any and every area of their lives, what do you want to say to them?
This too shall pass, and if it doesn’t, you will pass it. There’s an African American song that says trouble don’t last always. We don’t have to deny our feelings and our challenges, but we don’t have to be owned by them either. Life can be beautiful even when difficulties show up, you just have to have perspective. Grieve, cry, feel your emotions but don’t let them own you, focus on your possibilities, don’t be possessed by your problems.
What is your take on women empowerment?
My late father used to say that any country that doesn’t realize and cultivate its women is like a dog trying to run on just two legs and there is an Asian proverb that says that women hold up half the sky, so women empowerment is a viable investment for any society and has to continue to be a focus. The thing to realize is that women empowerment today is nuanced and has to take into account tradition, culture and societal constraints, because as we evolve, we can’t throw the baby out with the bath water, and the other thing is we can’t over index in it and not consider that men need empowerment as well, for different reasons of course but it is necessary because we are all starting to navigate a new world and as things continue to evolve, both men and women need to be supported in self actualisation in order for our society to elevate as a whole. Men and women are to complement each other and so we need to empower women to rise in concert with their masculine counterparts.
Concluding words
Thank you so much for the opportunity to share my thoughts with your audience. My prayer is that as your readers take in my words, that they are inspired and even elevated. To follow up with me, you can follow me on Instagram at @iconicwomanhood_coach and on Linked in as Ekene Ajene Onu. You can also learn more about the Iconic womanhood circle at Iconicwomanhoodcircle.com and our upcoming Ghana retreat and conference at Bit/ly/iconicghana
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