Most writing on negotiation, surprise is treated as a negative tactic. By adding new partners, changing deadlines, taking back a promise or creating ultimatums, you can throw your opponents off their game and cause them to make poor decisions.
But negotiators can also use surprise in more positive ways: to signal collaboration, generate creativity, destabilize negative patterns and earn a positive reputation. To leverage surprise constructively, we have to start with an understanding of what surprise is.
Although surprise is fleeting, it is cognitively complex. In “Surprise,” a book Tania co-authored with Dr. Leeann Renninger, we point out that surprise is a series of states. We call it the Surprise Sequence: Freeze, Find, Shift, Share.
Consider how the Surprise Sequence can play out in a negotiation. Let’s say you get a lowball job offer that won’t even cover your rent. First you FREEZE. Then you wrack your brain to FIND an explanation (“Is it me?” “Is it them?”). You SHIFT your thinking and decide it’s definitely them, get angry, then go SHARE a scathing review on Glassdoor. A positive surprise, like an unexpected signing bonus, would leave you feeling like you walked away with the best deal in the world (whether or not you did).
IExpecting the unexpected can reduce the disorienting effect of surprise and even let us spot opportunities to use it for good. These skills help negotiators harness the power of positive surprise. 1. Q-STEP
The best negotiators notice when something unexpected happens, and they stay in the surprise. Rather than allowing themselves to jump (shift) to a conclusion, they suspend judgment and step into question-asking mode. We call this skill “q-stepping.”
Research by the Huthwaite Group found that expert negotiators ask twice as many questions as their average counterparts. They make sure they’re asking the right questions and ask more questions when uncertainty increases.
Before, during and even after the negotiation, get to a state of curiosity. Say: “I wonder what led them to that thought.” Then q-step: Make sure the first step you take is to ask at least one question.
Read also: The Elements of a good company apology
2. SAY “YES, IF”
An unexpected suggestion during a negotiation can lead to a better and more creative outcome than either partner anticipated. Yet most of us quickly shut down surprise since it threatens our plans. In a competitive negotiation, saying “Yes, if” can create a win-win scenario. For example:
“I need a 10% raise.” “YES, IF you can cut costs by 10%.”
“I want higher royalties on this book.” “YES, IF you sell 1,000 copies.” 3. ENGINEER SURPRISE A surprise of any scale can have a rapid impact on the mood, process and outcome of the negotiation and the relationship of the parties. Here are some surprises you can engineer to trigger more trust, creative problem-solving and collaboration:
— Offer a compliment or an apology
— Offer more options Use “I” and “we” pronouns
— Offer to extend a deadline Here are some unpleasant surprises that lead to a distrust, animosity, defensiveness and deadlock: — Saying an insult
— Being critical of the other party
— Using “you” pronouns
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