8 tips for when you’re the unofficial office therapist

Are you the person your co-workers come to when they need support or advice? Here are some ways you can take care of yourself while taking care of others.

A “toxic handler” is someone who voluntarily shoulders the feelings of their colleagues, a critical but often difficult job. If that sounds familiar, here are some actions you can take to keep playing your valuable role in a sustainable way.

1. REDUCE SYMPTOMS OF STRESS: Turn to tried and true methods for stress relief: meditation, exercise, enough sleep and healthful eating.

2. PICK YOUR BATTLES: Ask yourself where you’ll have the most impact. Who is likely to be fine without your help? In which situations have you not even made a dent, despite your best efforts?

3. LEARN TO SAY NO:You can make it clear that you feel for your colleague and tell them you’re not in a position to be most helpful to them right now. Refer them to another person or resources for support.

4. LET GO OF THE GUILT: If you’re stepping in repeatedly, you’re not helping people acquire the skills they need to succeed. And there is only so much of you to go around.

5. FORM A COMMUNITY: Find other toxic handlers to turn to for support.

6. TAKE BREAKS: Consider giving yourself a mental health day off work or planning a vacation. You could also consider a temporary reassignment of your role.

7. MAKE A CHANGE: If nothing you are doing has resulted in a shift, your best option may be to leave.

8. CONSIDER THERAPY: A trained psychologist can help you identify burnout, manage your symptoms of stress, learn to say “no” and work through any guilt.