Homemaking is defined in the English dictionary as the creation and management of a home, especially as a pleasant place in which to live. So who says homemaking is the job of a woman?
Culture, society and maybe religion has lead us to think for longest time that the role of a wife, mother or woman is to care for the home while the man should have no business in the making and management of the home. It is somewhere in our subconscious that a woman’s place is in the kitchen. Everything around us reminds us that it’s the woman’s duty to cook, clean and care for the home. Even cook books, home management magazines and housekeeping journals are published with pictures of women in apron’s or brooms of the cover page.
The role of a man, as we were taught was to be the provider. Traditionally, a husband or man of the house was expected to make sure that he provides for the family to be cared for as the head of the home.
Today, however, the world has evolved and traditional roles have been swapped in many households where the woman has become the provider and the man cares for the home and children as the house husband. There goes the equality in humanity that women have always fought for.
“Today’s mum is everything encompassed; she wears the cap of a home maker and also a working /career woman. It is very unfair to seclude a woman’s role to solely being a home maker, as a I know a lot of women today who provide for their families, raise their children and work hard in their businesses or work place,” Tolu Oyebamiji, a female top management staff at a reputable company told BusinessDay.
According to ‘Focus on the Family’, an online lifestyle magazine, homemaking happens when we fully understand the value of home in our lives. Homemaking happens when we intentionally make home a safe house, a trauma unit, a pep rally, a playground, a school and more. Somebody has to have the time and energy to bring those roles alive in a family’s life. Somebody has to make a house a home. Homemaking is majoring in family relationships. Therefore, it is only right to say that homemaking is the duty of the whole family including both parents.
Although there is a stigma in the society, most modern women find peace when they stop aiming toward what society expects from them, and instead, simply act on what the desire for their lives. The internet is also making it easier to work and rear children at the same time, so working from home while caring for the children may also be an option for both men and women.
A lot of Nigerian men say they cannot marry a woman who cannot cook, clean and care for the home and children, but what if reverse was the case? What if women say they can only marry men who can change baby diapers?
“Of course all women will want their husbands to provide for the family which is traditionally his role but that doesn’t happen as often as we would want it to. The income of most Nigerian men is barely enough to cater for the family and that is why women also have to work to contribute to the upkeep of the family. Hence, roles should be shared, there is no one size fits all for all families,” Chidinma Obi, a business women told BDSunday.
Choosing what is best for your unique circumstances, whatever society says; is the difficult but wiser path where this decision as to who is the homemaker and who is the provider or whether to be both is concerned. And sometimes it’s not just general society, but a friend, parent, boyfriend or spouse who is pressuring you in one direction or another.
Jumoke Akiyode-Lawanson
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