• Friday, March 29, 2024
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Your future starts today

Your future

The promise of future benefit, as exciting and inspiring as it may sound when it’s being said, especially if you’re hearing it for the first time, seldom leads to sufficient motivation to act accordingly. At least, not in a way that’s sustainable. To children especially, the benefits are just too far away, somewhat abstract and for the present, intangible. It’s one of the reasons why we parents face so much frustration when trying to direct our children to do the right thing. Mummy and daddy’s vision may be fantastic and for the most part, the best thing for their child; and so, they find it difficult to understand why the child appears to be resisting their push. “Why does he refuse to take the most obvious steps towards what’s best for him? Why is he so stubborn?”

Simple answer, it’s just too far away to matter much at that precise time. If only they could be aware, their future actually starts today. But try this. Offer to give your child an instant reward if he successfully carries out a given task in the not too distant future. Whether the reward is a temporary one or one of a more permanent nature, it may not matter. The transformation will amaze you. You’ll witness a zeal you never knew he could muster. As already implied, the reward may not be something that will endure but the benefit is immediate enough to make it irresistible. Heck, it could even be one of those treats we use to induce good behaviour from our children sometimes.

The point is, it’s so close he can almost touch it. As far as incentives go, that is infinitely more enticing. That’s how the human mind works and I don’t think it ever totally changes. The benefit of improved reasoning over the years merely helps us appreciate the profit inherent in delaying gratification at times. As adults, we may have wisened up enough to know our today reflects decisions we took yesterday, just as our tomorrow will hinge on what we do or don’t do today; but try telling your son that when a football match beckons on him outside and see if it will work!

Increases in understanding derivable from experience can also open our eyes to the fact that instant is not necessarily good but make no mistake, the temptation is always there. If you wish to nudge your children towards a distant goal, you would do well to offer them more immediate reward or incentives along the way. Ditto for your employees.

Contrary to what some say, choosing to reward deserving employees at intervals; or children who do that which pleases us, in order to nudge them in our desired direction is far from foolishness. Looking at its long term, it can often be the best move especially when we keep in mind that the future starts from today. Permit me to say this too. It goes a long way in making your child feel it’s all about him; and not you. There’s no better way to make him feel loved and valued than to convince him, his interest always comes first. His cooperation from that point onwards becomes so much easier.

Your ultimate goal as a parent has always been to see him progress so he can be assured of a fulfilling and happy future, but it may not have always appeared this way to him. Once you adopt this strategy of offering tantalizing bonuses at intervals for meeting set goals, he’ll begin to see the two of you as being on the same side and become less resistant to your gentle leading. Gradually, he will release his gaze from what he sees as your vicarious interest and begin to see it as his own. By now, he has started to see himself an end in himself and not just a means to your end. The big picture may not have been close enough to prompt him to act but the subgoals can be. It’s interesting to note how educational exercises are “hidden” in children’s games too. The child gets instant reward by way of enjoyment while at the same time, learning that which he needs to know.

Related News

Nigerians were recently informed of one former Governor and a serving Governor who wilfully flouted the Federal government’s directives regarding airport protocols, introduced to protect Nigerians from this ravaging Coronavirus pandemic. True to type, when one considers the general behaviour of our political overlords, these two gentlemen who swore an oath during inauguration to serve their people the best way they could, decided they were now too big for the laws of the land. They took no time to remind the rest of us, just in case we had made the mistake of believing the “hype” that COVID-19 had become some sort of leveller in society, that in this country some people remained more equal than others.

Fully aware of the potential dangers their selfish actions might portend for their fellow countrymen, (even if they don’t care much for themselves) I feel constrained to put this question to you. Do you think these gentlemen see you and I as ends in ourselves? Or merely as means to their political end? I’ll leave you to answer that, as I’ve never laid a claim to having all the answers.

One thing that’s worth pointing out however is the need to ensure people always do the right thing; no matter who they are. Today, you may not care because it doesn’t directly affect you but tomorrow, it just might. FAAN made it a habit to treat such people as tin gods in the past and now they’re trying to rein in a horse which bolted long ago. I wish them all the luck but I beg them to remember one thing; the future starts today.

I would like to end with this though. I’ve always told my children that no matter how well they carry out a chore or an assignment, just because I instructed them to do so, the best anyone can classify that, is obedience. But if they were to decide to do that same thing because they knew it ought to be done; not waiting to told, well, that’s something entirely different. That speaks of a high sense of responsibility, which goes far beyond mere obedience.

Evident from the above however, some are still struggling at the rudimentary stage of simple obedience. But we’ll leave that discussion for another day. Still, remember this, the future begins from today.

Changing the nation…one mind at a time.