When women beg

It has not always been like this but now we are reeling daily from sex-for-marks and all other related sex-for-everything issues.

Beyond the bad men and boys who compromise women daily and rape our teenagers, children and women across the world, there are those women who provide the ammunition for all manners of dastardly acts that put all women to shame.

Let me frontload my caveat, there is no excuse for rape or abuse of any form even if the woman turns up in her pant, you can run for your dear life. Where is your discipline, self-control and faith?

All men must have that internal mechanism and a radar that says this one is trouble and head for the door, if an unsolicited pant is upon you and believe me, they abound. These days they are in car parks, are online and are stalking you on the phone. They take your number from the minutes of the church fund-raising committee and call you pretending to know you. These viper women are all over the place, learn to spot and avoid.

Women seeking to destroy families and bring full grown men to tears and pain are running riot across the world and, mark my words; some of them may even be your wife’s friends. Watch your back.

So, let us return to the issue at hand. Women who beg. This is a special category of women whose stock in trade is to beg for everything, from contract, to lunch, to money, to tickets for an international travel and so on.

I don’t mean the type where one is fund raising for college or something like that from someone you know, an uncle, an aunty, an old friend, a senior colleague etc. I am talking about soliciting at airports and parties and offices, begging just about everyone whether you know them or not.

This type of begging which has taken over our nation and eaten deep into our moral fabric was actually started by men. You know those sick security men at different gates of offices who after giving you a parking card then proceed to ask you for money?

It has now been escalated to those stocky security men who wear pads on their knees and strong shoulder pads standing at wedding reception venues. As soon as you make to leave, they begin to beg. In the meantime, they have been paid by the organisers. Going to social events, you now dread security men harassing you when you are leaving and embarrassing their clients.

The shame is eternal. So, begging has been elevated to a national past time making us the laughing stock of our friends in the international community.

There are as many excuses as the stars in the sky by Nigerians who lay all our bad habits at the door of poverty but you go to our various villages, the poor persons out there are the most dignified. They are content, clean and are proud of their little earnings. In fact, their children are taught not to solicit or give a rich man any reason to disrespect them. They would prefer to earn whatever you give them by working for it.

So where are the women in this national begging ethos? Let me share a little story.

On my way to Accra, several years ago, I ran into a professional colleague who had offered me a spot on the queue, insisting that it was my due. With much appeal, I took the slot and expressed my gratitude to all those on the queue as I would have preferred to remain where I was. But it had become a chanting request from all and I obliged.

As we inched forward, we met an airport official checking passports who spoke to a young man in front of me, a student, asking him in my mother’s language why he was always going to Accra without bringing something for the airport men and women. The young man barely 17 years old acted like he did not understand her and walked on.

Embarrassingly for the airport official, I was next. This airport official who was being silly was a woman. She giggled uncomfortably and sensing I may have heard her asked me which of my parents was from her place. I told her she should please check my passport as I had a plane to catch. She continued smiling like a fool and waved me off. When a woman solicits, begs, she isn’t pretty. She lays down some strange game boards including but not limited to the other relations of solicitation.

But I digress. So, as I made my way to the plane, I explained to my professional colleague what had just transpired and he burst into a raucous laughter. You know madam, when a woman begs, it isn’t pretty but let me share. Here are his words: Just last year on my way to the US after I had been searched and was ready to go, a very beautiful airport official stepped out like a breath of sunshine but spoilt it when she started harassing me for money. Oga, anything for us? I pulled her to the side and asked her how much they made a day from soliciting. She said they made about N30,000 . So, I told her I would give her, personal to her, 100,000 naira. She was giddy with joy, clapping and wringing her hand. Then I told her that the money was for sleeping with her. She became hostile and showed me her wedding ring. I told her it was irrelevant to me as her soliciting could lead to butt slapping, touching and plenty of smiling.

Why was she so angry? I advised her that her colleagues had positioned her as solicitor-in-chief because of her beauty. It was not an accident and she was a willing accomplice. When women beg, my colleague concluded, it sets them up for other things.

When men beg, it is tolerable although unacceptable but for women, it is shameful. Wedding ring my big foot my colleague said, when you wear your best smile wringing your hands and giggling like an idiot, what is the translation if you are a woman?

Women are already in too many vulnerable positions to add corporate and airport begging to their resume. Begging is hard and demeaning, ask those who have to beg for a living. But when a woman who should know better decides that she is the chief beggar at an airport, a security post, a ministry, or a hospital, the nation’s moral fabric is threatened.

When women beg, the nation takes a back seat and morality loses its meaning. I say no more.