People want and even crave respect whether in the workplace or in any other context. But what makes people respect you? People respect you because of something specific that makes an impression on them – for example your character, your leadership capacity, the results you deliver and more. It is evidence of the positive impact you have on people. Respect is like ‘capital’ or credit because it builds your influence with those you lead.
It should not be squandered or abused, as this will undermine your leadership. Here are four things you should do if you want to increase the respect people have for you:
If you want people to respect you, build your technical competence. Be good at what you do – whatever it is. While being technically competent alone does not qualify you to be a leader, it is nevertheless a non-negotiable element.
Your employees, subordinates and colleagues must have confidence in your capacity. It does not mean that you must know everything or know more than them about every single topic, but how can they have confidence in you if you are not able to provide guidance on the job? Your technical ability is part of what legitimises your leadership and validates it in the sight of others.
Unfortunately, with some leaders when they know their technical knowledge and ability is not up to par especially compared to some of their subordinates’, they can become defensive and authoritative, using the authority of their position to mask their shortcomings. Make the effort to continually develop your technical competence especially in this age when the boundaries of knowledge keep expanding. Being technically competent is your personal responsibility and no-one else’s.
Secondly, to earn respect you must be able to deliver results. Nobody wants to consistently be part of a failing team, and every boss, employer or investor is ultimately interested in results. Delivering results earns respect because results cannot be denied. Some people may not like you, but when you deliver the results expected, they have to acknowledge it, and this gives you influence. Former British Prime Minister, The Late Baroness Margaret Thatcher had in her political career been described by a British newspaper as ‘The Most Unpopular Woman in Britain’, but the “Iron Lady” was elected to three consecutive terms as Prime Minister and in fact was the longest serving in the 20th Century. The lesson? You don’t have to be popular with everyone or be liked by everyone, but everyone can respect you because your work speaks for you.
The third way to earn respect as a leader is to focus on what benefits the larger group. Focus on what is good for everybody – not just what is good for yourself or a narrow group of interests. According to Brenda Booth, Clinical Professor of Leadership at the Kellogg School, Northwestern University, United States: “People may not like what you do even if you are authentic. But if you focus on what is right for the organisation, make ethical choices, and treat employees with dignity in the process, then chances are you will earn the respect of the vast majority.”
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When you act with the bigger picture in mind, treat people fairly and act with integrity, even if people don’t like you, they will eventually have to respect you when they find their own interests are embedded in the bigger picture you are transparently pursuing. This way people find you reliable and fair. Why people often fail on this issue is that they pursue narrow interests that do not accommodate the interests of others and it becomes worse when it is done deceitfully by being made to look like they are pursuing what benefits the larger group, when in fact they are not.
The fourth way to earn respect is to show Leadership by example. Showing leadership by example is proof that you understand the responsibility you have as a leader and the burden placed on you. When you lead by example, you build credibility and gain respect. Two ways in which you can lead by example are firstly by living up to the responsibility of your leadership position and being a role model for others.
Are you living up to the responsibility of the leadership position that you currently have? Living up to the responsibility of your position and being a role model will earn you respect. Another way to lead by example is by being sacrificial in your disposition towards your colleagues and subordinates. When the leader is equally or even disproportionately affected more adversely than others by the effect of decisions, he earns respect and builds trust. For example, in a period of financial difficulty, can you allow subordinates to be paid first? This is one of the ways in which you as a leader can be sacrificial in your disposition to those you lead.
Earning respect requires that one must be able to take the right decisions, even if the cost means being labelled negatively or being seen as unpopular. If you want to be popular you will do things that please people in the short-term, but someone who wants to be respected will think of the long term and do the difficult things that are required even if people don’t immediately understand or accept them. In the words of former Ambassador Patrick Dele Cole: “Respect is earned, never demanded. If you allow yourself to be manoeuvred into demanding respect, you probably do not deserve it.” It could not be better put.
Thank you and until next week, let me challenge you to begin to lead from where you are.
