Last week, my mystic pot revealed that this year would be rough for Nigeria and Nigerians. Consequently, I decided to lessen our burdens by starting the year in a lighter mood and so, here we are. In September 2021, I told the story of my friend before-before in Kaduna, Nwokediuko( men are scarce), who incidentally ‘manufactured’ 3 boys. We discussed some of the strategies taken by women to manage this real or imagined scarcity of men. Across the globe, there is almost a balance between men and women( 101 to 100), while in Nigeria, it is 50.4% and women at 49.6% as of 2021.
However, people who are bent on selling the scarcity-of-men narrative quote an imaginary ‘2019 UN first quarter report’ that there are 5.6bn men as against 2.2bn women in the world and that out of that 5.6bn men, 1 bn are married, 120m are in prison while 70m are mentally ill and that of those who are free, 50% are jobless, 22% are above 66, 10% are relatives and 3% are gay!
It appears that many women are sold on to this narrative as they continue to bemoan their fate in a husband-scarce world. A lady lamented how she visited a hospital where 250 women had girls and only 5 had boys. This according to her will lead to wider man-woman imbalance and she thus asked the government to make polygamy compulsory, asked mothers to advise their male children to go polygamous, asked men who are already married to top it up, and women who are sole wives to go for thanksgiving.
Another lady complained how difficult it is to find a suitable husband because ‘those that are responsible are not romantic; those that are educated cannot take corrections because they know it all while those who are not educated feel insulted when corrected; the smart ones lie too much, the handsome ones have no brains, the hardworking ones have no time for the wives the brilliant one is always serious while the rich one has no regard for women.
Worst of all, the ones that are responsible, will always be distracted by their EXs’. Sam Udegbunam, my colleague at the defunct CCB holds that men have become endangered because they are the victims of herdsmen, kidnappers, UGMs, accidental discharges, and politically-induced killings like what is happening in Imo state. Under this scenario he argues, it becomes inequitable for a man to pour all his love on just one woman while several other women are left stranded.
Hadiza Garba declared that a man who is capable of marrying 4 wives but married just one is guilty of corruption while a Muslim cleric describes a man who married only 1 wife as a miskin (impoverished, unfortunate) and that one with 4 wives deserves standing ovation. Another quotes some unverified statistics of the man-woman disequilibrium across the world (US: 7.8m more men than women, Germany, 5m, UK 4m and Russia, 9m and New York, 1m) and argues that it is better for a woman to become a second wife, which is more honourable than become a mere mistress, a public property. He also advised women who are already married to accept more wives because it is better to suffer a small loss (sharing a husband) than suffer a bigger one (the fellow woman being husband-less). He holds that men keep on ‘testing’ (like the bats bite take a bite of all the mango fruits)and eventually pick only one, thereby leaving several ladies stranded.
People have gone to the extent of regurgitating the story of a ‘successful’ polygamist Oba Sir OlateriOlagbegi II Olowo of Owo who had 117 children and even inanimate objects like pounded-yam who are successful polygamists. An Urhobo man, John Erere Nana, harkened to the pro-polygamy proponents when he married two pregnant women, Patience and Elohor, at Oviri-Agbarho, Delta State on 4/12/21. At least, the issue of fertility has been settled. But the group also lost a great exponent when Simon Odo, a native doctor who was proud to be known as ‘King of Satan’, who married 59 wives and had 300 children, died on 14/12/21.
We had earlier recalled how some women resorted to some unholy practices, including transferring their love to animals, including dogs and chimpanzees because men are scarce. In the process, the dogs have learned some of the bizarre sexual behaviours of humans like threesome affairs. A woman was just the other day found breastfeeding a cat on an international flight and she bold-facedly defended the act
Some have gone to other extremes to manage this gender imbalance like a lady who proudly announced her marriage to her mother while another married her father saying he is my everything. ( tufiakwa; alu!) Tami Roman on the other hand offered her husband, Reggie Youngblood, permission to father a baby with another woman; she wants to focus on her career because a baby for me now is not the right thing to do. In Nassarawa State, Mrs. Justina Agbumi fathered a child for her husband’s 17-year-old son!
The matter became more complicated when pastors got involved, prophesying, decreeing, designing marriage-friendly mantles, and at times, husbanding several women simultaneously, including married ones! One of them ‘opendentially’ gave holy-bath for mostly women for 2022 blessing, including life-partner(the man was FULLY suited) and thereby raising the bar because Christ just washed the feet of12 men only( John 13). He rubbed their naked bodies with olive oil, assuring them that it was ordered from above.
Read also: Surviving 2022
Another designed marriage-partner pants and Timothy Ugwu, GO of Vinyard Ministry of the Holy Spirit, Enugu impregnated 20 female congregants as directed by the Holy Spirit and in line with the divine increase and multiply mandate (Genesis,9.7) while Pastor Udofia married his 18-year-old Chorister as his second wife. That was why on the night of 31/12/21, some single ladies ‘stoned’ their pastor who had decreed that they must be married in 2021.
Some are so desperate to get hooked that they go gaga when disappointed like the Ghanaian lady who was so aggrieved that she pulled off her underwear ( live) to place a curse on his ex and his manhood. Some also fight it out as a 31-year-old married woman threw caution to the wind and fought with a 28-year lady over a 19year old.
Others are so desperate that they let down their guards and are at times swindled by intending or pretending husbands just like Abdulkareem Isah of Lokoja who defrauded Hussain Sule of N1.3m with a fake marriage proposal( from fake alerts to fake marriage proposals!) and just the other day, Auxilia Banda, a mathematics teacher in Madziwa, Zimbabwe committed suicide when her husband, Norman not only stole her money but used it to marry a second wife. However, for some, it is the other way round as a lady was so hot that she had got pregnant for two other men while staying with her boyfriend, who stood by her despite the highfalutin cheating while Eleen, 90, has just married her late husbands best friend Ron( 87)on 26/12/21, in line with her late husbands. So, it is different strokes for different folks.
And now, the story has gone scientific as Mazi Ibra One claimed that his empirical study has shown that men who do not cheat on their wives do not live long. In other words, men should show love to multiple women or risk early death like smokers! I am still searching for the statement of the problem, objectives of the study, and research methodology so as to replicate the study in Nigeria to ascertain its veracity and find out if it also applied to women who do not cheat
So, are there more men than women? I believe that the numbers are almost balanced. The only difference is that while a man will be ready to marry a lady who is nothing and who has nothing, the women want ready-made husbands and they are not enough to go around, especially under this turbulent and harrowing economic times. Even men have become warry of marrying women who do not bring anything to the table.
Meanwhile happy new year to all men of goodwill. May we be among the micro-success cases of this year, provided we are ready to do what it legally takes! However, I don’t know how happy they would be in Afghanistan, where the Taliban have banned cellphones and allied devices. Different strokes…
