It was with considerable glee that John Cleese and Sacha Baron Cohen announced the scoop of the century by Resilience Television. With bated breath, they announced that they had in their possession a video tape of the President of the United States of America, Donald Trump declaring that he had set up a Task Force to accomplish the following tasks:
(i) Postpone the forthcoming U.S. presidential election until further notice.
(ii) Postpone the United Nations 2020 General Assembly until further notice
and (iii) Ensure that the COVID-19 pandemic is over before Christmas Day
(25th December, 2020).
Not only did the President refuse to emphatically deny the existence of the video tape, at a press briefing at the White House where the only item on the agenda was COVID-19 virus, Trump went completely off target. He totally abandoned the carefully choreographed presidential steps as he made his entrance. Instead, he diverted to the area reserved for the press and threatened to physically eject any pressman/woman who dared ask any awkward questions or demand retraction of the lies he has been spewing for the last three and the half years. The president was clearly in a belligerent mood, perhaps due to an overdose of hydroxychloroquine !!
Once he reached the microphone, he went completely off message and abandoned his carefully prepared script. Instead, he launched a tirade:
Just when the pressmen/women were about to call it a day and disperse, word came through that Donald Trump was on his way from the missile/bomb-proof underground shelter back to the podium
“I have nothing against the United Nations. But I tell you, we are ready to do what we did with the WHO (World Health Organisation) which should be rightly called the Wuhan Health Organisation. I pause for applause. Anyway, we can’t have all these foreigners bringing germs and virus into America. It has been far too costly for America. Now is the time to take care of America First.”
Then he dropped a bombshell.
“Just look at this video of the President of Somalia, Mohamed Abdullahi Farmaajo and his Vice-President, Hussein KulmiyeAfrah exchanging blows at a press conference. Disgusting.”
Next, he swerved to Nigeria.
“I have just been briefed by my National Security Adviser, that in Kano, Nigeria, the death sentence has just been passed on 22-year-old Yahaya Aminu Sheriff who is alleged to have committed blasphemy.
Music studio assistant Yahaya Sharif-Aminu was sentenced to death by hanging on August 10 after being convicted of blasphemy by an Islamic court in northern Nigeria.
In typical Trump fashion, the President of the United States of America proceeded to distribute to the press free copies of “The Tanzanian Times” with the following report on its front page:
“The President of Tanzania, John Magufuli, has cancelled a U.S.$10 billion Chinese loan. He referred to the Terms and Conditions of the loan as one that can only be accepted by a drunkard (person).”
Donald Trump refused to take any questions. He brought the press conference to an abrupt end when a top security officer whispered into his ear. Instead of a dignified presidential exit, he was whisked off into a more secure part of the White House where his security and safety would be guaranteed. The press were amazed, amused, and dumb founded. They concluded it was all showmanship just to catch the headlines and divert attention from the crucial problems facing the United States of America – “Black Lives Matter”/Racial inequality; poverty and unemployment; COVID-19 virus etc.
Just when the pressmen/women were about to call it a day and disperse, word came through that Donald Trump was on his way from the missile/bomb-proof underground shelter back to the podium.
To the astonishment of the press, Donald Trump proceeded to quote Howard Zinn (1922 – 2010).
“Our problem is that people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of leaders. Millions have been killed because of this obedience. Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty, starvation, stupidity, war and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obediently filling our jails full of petty thieves while the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem.”
It was all so bizarre. The press were simply dumbfounded. They were zapped!!
However, the President of the United States of America was not yet done. White House protocol demands that it is only after “POTUS” (President of the United States) has departed that members of the press can leave. He carpeted the guy from CNN.
“How come only Fox News and Resilience Television have aired: “STRUCK OUT”?
Donald Trump was clearly agitated as no sooner had the members of the press reached the exit of the White House, ready to swarm into the sublime embrace of the adjoining Park, Lafayette Park, than they were summoned back to resume the press conference.
It turned out that what was bugging the President of the United States of America was the front page report of “The Punch” newspaper of August 17, 2020 with the headline that reads, “Blasphemy: US agency kicks as Kano court jails 13-year-old boy for ten years’.
What was strange was that it was Donald Trump himself who gave the order to the press: calm down. He then proceeded to show a video of:
“The Yoruba slave girl – Sarah Forbes Bonetta (1843 –1880)
“Sarah Forbes Bonetta, a princess of the Egbado clan of the Yoruba people, is best known as the goddaughter of Queen Victoria of Great Britain. Bonetta was born in 1843 in what is now southwest Nigeria. Her parents’ names are unknown as are the names of her siblings who were all killed in the 1847 slave raid that made Bonetta a captive.
Bonetta’s village of Okeadan was attacked by King Gezo of Dahomey, the most notorious slave trading monarch in West Africa in the early 19th century. Intent on capturing slaves and killing those not taken, Gezo’s men seized the four year old girl. For reasons that are unclear, the girl was not killed and remained at Gezo’s Court until 1849 when British Commander Frederick Forbes landed the HMS Bonetta in Dahomey to persuade Gezo to give up slave raiding and trading. Forbes noticed the young girl and bargained for her life. He persuaded King Gezo to “give” her to Queen Victoria, saying “She would be a present from the King of the Blacks to the Queen of the Whites.” The girl remained with Forbes in West Africa for the next year during which she was baptized and given the name Sarah Forbes Bonetta. Forbes wrote that “She is a perfect genius; she now speaks English well, and [has] great talent for music… She is far in advance of any white child of her age in aptness of learning, and strength of mind and affection…”
Sarah Forbes Bonetta was taken to Great Britain and met Queen Victoria on November 9th, 1850 at Windsor Castle. The Queen was impressed by her intellect and entrusted her care to the Schoen family in Palm Cottage, Gillingham when Forbes died early in 1851. The Queen declared Sarah her goddaughter and paid her tutorial expenses. Young Sarah became a regular visitor to Windsor Castle.
What ruined what was developing into a peaceful evening was the insistence of the CNN representative that their host should respond to CNN’s “Breaking News”
“President Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen predicts Trump will not return to the White House after spending Christmas at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida.
Cohen spoke with MSNBC host Ari Melber about the president’s possible endgame plans as President-elect Joe Biden prepares to enter the White House on Jan. 20.
“After Christmas, he usually comes back January 5th, January 6th. He likes to go to Mar-a-Lago,” said Cohen. “I suspect he won’t even come back to Washington. I don’t believe he’s going to go to the inauguration because he himself fundamentally cannot sit in a chair knowing that the cameras are on him and that the world is looking at him as a loser. He cannot do that.”
To Trump, life was a game and all that mattered was winning.”
Donald Trump was in rage, full blast. All he could mutter was:
“You all know that Michael Cohen is a pathological liar.”
While frantic efforts were being made to restore peace between “POTUS” (President of the United States) and his journalist guests, Resilience Television switched to the front page report of “BusinessDay” newspaper of August 18, 2020.
Headline: “We are in the process of rescuing Nigeria” – Na’Abba.
“A former Speaker of the House of Representatives, GhaliNa’Abba has revealed that there were ongoing consultations among some elite politicians toward setting up a new political movement to rescue the country. In a television broadcast, Na’Abba, who is a co-chairman of the newly formed National Consultative Front, claimed that Nigeria was now a failed state, while describing the current administration as being incompetent and irresponsible. He listed unemployment, insecurity, economic hardship as some of the areas where the President MuhammaduBuhari administration has failed and proven its incompetence, adding that Nigerians were now poorer and more disillusioned with the state of affairs in the country than at any other period in the history of the country.
On the back page of the same paper was the distressful report from Ghana.
Headline: “U.S.$1 million registration, other conditionalities too much for Nigerian traders in GHANA”
……….We are ready to come back home, says traders’ association leader.
President of the Association of Nigerian Traders in Ghana, Chukwuemeka Nnaji, says majority of Nigerian traders in Ghana cannot afford the $1 million and other conditionalities that small businesses are being asked to fulfil to continue doing business in the West African country.
As a result, the Nigerian traders have asked the Federal Government of Nigeria to engage the Ghanaian authorities byleveraging on the ECOWAS protocol. Nnaji, who spoke on a radio programme, Political Platform, on RayPower FM (100.5) on Tuesday morning, said if this diplomatic engagement fails to yield the desired result, the traders would be willing and ready to return to Nigeria. He insisted that the conditionalities put forward by the Ghanaian government were above the capacity of most Nigerian small businesses operating in that country.
According to Nnaji, the conditionalities include payment of $1 million or its equivalent in share equity, employment of at least 25 Ghanaians, and not operating in areas where Ghanaians have their businesses. “These are too much for us to fulfil. Majority of Nigerian traders in Ghana cannot afford $1 million,” he said on the programme monitored by “BusinessDay” in Lagos. He lamented that the registration charge was raised from $300,000 to $1 million, adding:
“We have raised the ECOWAS protocol with the Ghanaian authorities, telling them that we’re West African citizens and should not be treated like other foreigners, but they have insisted that in spite of the ECOWAS protocol, their law is king.” Nnaji, who painted a pathetic picture of Nigerian traders in Ghana, said their shops and business premises are being locked up despite having business permits.
On what he thinks the government back home can do, he said, “We want the Nigerian government to engage the Ghanaian authorities on the basis of the ECOWAS protocol. But if this fails, we plead with the Ghanaian government to give us some time to pack our loads and go back home.”
The ECOWAS protocol agreed to by the member states in 1979, which are in phases, stipulates the right of ECOWAS citizens to enter, reside and establish economic activities in the territory of other member states. The first phase deals with the right of visa-free entry; phase two deals with the right of residency, and phase three concerns the right of establishment in another member state.
The first phase has been fully implemented. The second phase, the right of residency, has also been implemented, given that citizens had obtained an ECOWAS residence card or permit in fellow member states. The third phase, the right of establishment, is still under implementation in most member states.”
To cap it all the television station aired what it described as “Lessons Being Learnt.”
“Miami police outclassed every police organisation in the world. When protesters came with gun blazing, they all went on their knee. The crowd began to cry and joined them. Asking for forgiveness melted many hearts – especially those who carried placards along with guns to protest –
(i) Justice For George Floyd
(ii) Stop Killing Blacks in USA
(iii) Black Lives Matter.
