Here we go again. Rape has risen to the top of the news agenda bubbling up and showing itself everywhere you turn. Nigeria is once again in the news for a very wrong reason and we are not at war. This new wave of rape cases around the country is not because it actually had disappeared but because we have not been paying attention. And when I say we, I mean media, parents, friends, schools and churches. In 2012, writing in this column, I recommended an out of the rule book solution for the matter. The column was titled Rape, Hang them by their balls. I was so incensed; the article was in two parts. I have decided to reproduce a large portion of that column so many years ago because it will seem to me that very little have changed. In fact, the brazenness, the bizarre nature of the crime is becoming worse.
Rapists are getting bolder and more dangerous. This is largely because rape is not considered a serious crime in Nigeria. Stories are told of the police sexually molesting rape victims and families swearing their daughters to silence while all the places meant to protect the girl child abdicate their responsibilities. But in order to paint how bad things have become and how not much has changed, here are a few paragraphs from my 2012 column on rape, Hang them by their balls.
“Permit me to posit that this bestial behaviour has nothing to do with a man’s status. The high and the mighty are as guilty as the lowly. So a big politician, a lecturer, a student and a lawyer or professional are as guilty as a truck pusher, a taxi driver and a motor park tout. And like it is so evident on a daily basis on one of my favourite satellite TV channels, Crime and Investigation, it has nothing to do with the decency or quiet mien of a man. I have seen men and women who you think cannot hurt a fly, arrested for the most heinous of crimes. Human nature continues to defy easy understanding or classification. It is truly amazing.
I have followed some recent rape trends and tales from the university in the east, to the police station in the north, where women have been turned into some kind of sport for anyone with a daring do to take advantage. It is sickening. I have read about men and women who have stood in the gap and shouted themselves hoarse. I salute their dexterity. But I have also seen a nation fall to its knees in cover up cases and in denial.
Our moral fabric has descended to such an abysmal level that we should cover ourselves in ash cloth and mourn the depravity that has hit our nation. Everyone is involved in these cover up cases, from institutions who do not want their names muddied, to parents of perpetrators who do not want their children locked up. In some cases, money changes hands to free the culprits, there is a settlement out of court and everyone is encouraged to be quiet so the matter can be swept under the carpet. I am scandalised.
So what then happens to the girls, the victims whose lives have now been broken into pieces, girls who lose their minds and live daily by torture and trauma? These are victims who if they do not get help, go on to harm others in their hurt, are unable to have a decent relationship or become loose because they are searching for that one man who will wipe away their shame. It is a tragedy of unimaginable proportions.
All women know that there are days when you are not even in the mood and you go through with it anyway in your duties as a wife or if in a relationship because you are committed. Those are difficult days and often you are a reluctant and unwilling participant. Imagine if you will, that this person undressing you is unknown to you, is drunk, is spewing forth nonsense, is holding a gun, has overpowered you and defiles you. Imagine if you will know that this person is your neighbour’s son or an uncle, a member of the family who you trusted. Just imagine, he comes to your home, your daughter opens the door because she knows him, and he is her father’s cousin or even his friend.
Our laws are weak for rape, our law enforcement treat it like child’s play and depending on who is involved people are sweeping this cankerworm under the carpet… The culture of silence has to end. While it is not legal, I maintain my stance of 2012. Let’s hang them by their balls!
Imagine the horror, the shame and the sheer disbelief. What do you tell such a child? How do you console them? Their life is over one afternoon because one sick, good for nothing and wicked man decides to take control of her life in pursuit of his genitals. In public this man is well respected, everyone calls him sir, and he is the pillar of a church, donating a lot of money to various church projects.”
So here we are eight years later and we are faced with Uwa, a microbiology student who went to study in a church in Benin, gang raped and murdered a seven-year-old in Benue, a six month old and the list goes on and on. When our future mothers are not safe, then I am afraid the nation has lost its soul.
What is really going on here? First let us examine the character of the young boys we are bringing into the world. As a mother, do you prepare the bed for the sexual frivolity of your son ravelling in his escapades and calling him a man? He is 15 years old and you are an enabler. As a father do you tell your sons idiot stories about how your first was a cousin or a maid when you were twelve? What do you think you have done? Between the mother who is an enabler and an idiot father, you create a monster and then begin to ask what this is about when he is running riot across your street unable to keep his pants on.
What about you Madam who is encouraging your daughter to be quiet because your new love interest, her step father is making moves to indicate that he wants to bed mother and daughter? Depravity is depravity. There is no fancy word for it. And the difference between us and animals in sexual behaviour is restraint and discipline, so where did all that go? As modernity slowly destroys our traditional more moral way of doing things, these things we are so afraid of will creep into our society and no one will be immune.
Our laws are weak for rape, our law enforcement treat it like child’s play and depending on who is involved people are sweeping this cankerworm under the carpet. It’s time to stand up to rapists whether they are your brother or your father or your pastor or your Imam or a powerful politician or your son. Rape is a crime. Only the guilty are afraid. Naming and shaming going on online is a welcome development. The culture of silence has to end. While it is not legal, I maintain my stance of 2012. Let’s hang them by their balls!
