It’s important we celebrate our small wins in life as they contribute tremendously to our happiness and do our self-esteem a whole lot of good. There are few things which conduce more to our sense of wellbeing. Most of us have some so called “friends” who always find a way to underrate our wins and make them look insignificant.
You know, those people who have a penchant for making us feel foolish for making our achievements look like a big deal. My advice to you? Stay clear of such friends. Trust me, you really don’t need them. Those who never see anything good in what you do and refuse to allow you to feel good about yourself are not friends.
By all means, go ahead and bask in your little victories because consistent small wins will eventually lead to big wins as your confidence to strive for more, higher and bigger, continues to grow.
It’s instructive to note that at times, all you need to achieving these small wins is discipline, consistency and focus. Doing the right things at the right time. Going for that evening jog even when you don’t feel like it. Turning that television off and studying for your exams instead. The mere fact that you exercised the will to do that makes you feel good and it boosts your self-confidence.
The part self-discipline plays in building up one’s self-esteem cannot be overemphasized. Learning to discipline yourself to do the right thing even when it’s not convenient, appealing or expedient strengthens your character and reinforces your belief in yourself and in your abilities.
For others, their small win can be the first order they get in their newly established business. It may not mean much to a Dangote but for you, it could be a significant step which assures you, you’re moving in the right direction. It may just be the tonic you need.
I remember the first time I was asked to give a talk at a school on Transformational Leadership and the considerable role character plays in achieving good success in life. Anyone who knew me prior to that experience would readily tell you that I’m the last person who would ever volunteer to speak before a large group of people.
Like my late dad liked to call himself, with obvious reference to his career path as a civil servant (ubiquitously felt but not seen), I’ve always been more of a “back room boy” by nature. I’m in my element when left to write, putting my thoughts down in writing and attracting as little attention to myself as possible.
But as God would have it, after getting up with much trepidation to deliver my talk on that day, I found myself flowing with the moment. Perhaps made easier because of my intense interest in the topic and my desire to do my bit in guiding our future leaders down the right path, nerves quickly gave way to passion.
Read also: Nigerians yearn for national re-birth
Even more so, each time, I noticed how the faces of the pupils lit up when a point made struck a chord within them. The excitement that comes with gaining new understanding is difficult to describe but it was clearly written all over their faces as they put their hands up, competing to air their new found knowledge.
To put it simply, I loved the experience. That was indeed a small but significant win for me boosting my confidence to speak publicly to no end.
I was chuffed to bits. The last thing I would have wanted that moment as I celebrated my little victory would have been for a friend to underrate my achievement by telling me, “it’s no big deal! Just a week before, I spoke before a whole stadium of people without breaking a sweat so why are you making noise?”
Not all small wins are positive though. Some make us feel good while we ignorantly destroy the fabrics of decency that should hold our society together. But what, may I ask, is a society anyway?
The Merriam Webster dictionary provides several definitions of a society. One says, “it’s an enduring and cooperating social group whose members have developed organised patterns of relationships through interactions with one another.” Of note here is the word “cooperating”.
But how cooperative is a community where the next person is always trying to get one up on you? Constantly looking to “chance” you? And that little “victory” of “chancing” someone defines his day as a good one!
Like someone rightly said, a society must include a system of give and take relationships which create reciprocal roles in human life. He went further to insist that there is a difference between a society and a mere aggregate of people.
One exemplifies cooperation and harmony which can only lead to progress when it works well but the other is a representation of disparate interests that may never coincide or overlap. The result is chaos, often scant regard for the rule of law, a “me only” attitude and retarded progress as a group.
Even when each individual by his ominous antics believes he’s moving ahead, at what cost? Because our behaviour is so perfectly mimicked by others, the only logical result is that we’ll spend far more time as victims of such behaviour than as victors.
The sooner we realise the better because in an environment where anything goes for one to get ahead, where guile and aggression have been elevated to virtues worthy of celebration, all indeed suffer. Each selfish act ebbs away our fragile sense of humanity while it unravels yet another thread of the civility which should fasten us together; until it can no longer hold. And here we are.
Big ups to Edmund Burke who lends me a perfect quote with which to close this discussion: “Society is in indeed a contract…it becomes a partnership not only between those who are living, but between those who are living, those who are dead and those who are to be born.” If it’s only one thing you take away from this article, please let it be this; our actions cannot but have consequences. And at times, it can be a deluge of consequences.
Changing the nation…one mind at a time.
