I sat in front of the television frozen. I was watching a documentary that showed a young Hispanic guy in jail in America for the death of his baby daughter who was in his care. She died of heat stroke and lack of air in a vehicle in a car park. As he spoke from jail, my heart went out to him. He was a good father, a good boyfriend but he said after picking his daughter from day care, he was overwhelmed with work and a difficult boss and just forgot.
By the time he rushed to the park, she was dead. I saw a man broken, a man who could not forgive himself. A man in jail. More than anything else, in spite of the issues, his baby’s grandfather testified that he was a good father but his girlfriend threw him under the bus and sent him to jail for 22 years. In the documentary there were three American men who had forgotten their kids in cars, even though the children had died, got good lawyers and were off the hook.
One wonders if it is because the one who went to jail is an immigrant and his girlfriend is American. But that’s a tale for another day. People have wondered if people can actually forget children in cars. But the truth of the matter is that Psychologists tell us that the part of our brain for memory and learning, the hippocampus, is fragile and can fail the best of us. I have met persons back home in Nigeria who have forgotten their children in cars. Luck? We are communal and someone may raise an alarm, otherwise with how hot it gets here, kids can be falling dead across the nation.
Psychologists tell us that the part of our brain for memory and learning, the hippocampus, is fragile and can fail the best of us
But here are two incidences that tell me how memory is not loyal. Last week my spouse who is the most careful person I know, super organised left home driving his car. Ten minutes later, he had a shattering sound on the express. A man who hardly forgets anything had forgotten his phone on his bonnet and driven off with it. In his hands was a shattered phone and a man who could not believe this had happened to him. But the big ups on this memory thing is three weeks ago in Kano.
I had just finished my day at a two-day workshop on indigenous language broadcasting. A fellow participant and I arrived our hotel reception and he picked up his room keys. I on the other hand was going out but left my files at the reception or was it in the car that took me out. By the time I returned that evening, the reception said I had not given them my file. The driver of the car that took me out did not have the files. This was ridiculous. I went to bed befuddled.
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I was almost certain I took them to the car but then again there was no reason to so they ought to be at the reception. They were important files. I slept rather uncomfortably. At the crack of dawn, I called my colleague with whom I had approached reception the day before. He was on his way to the airport to return to his base. Are they mad at the reception he said. I was there when you gave them. They should find your files. It was crazy. No one at reception had them. They also seemed quite efficient. At 11 am when it was time to go to the airport, I began to mourn my files. Then Eureka, files found. Although my colleague swore that I had given them to the reception, I had in fact not done so. The files were in the car that took me out the day before and was now about to take me to the airport. I could not explain the memory issues we had had all day. Someone swore that he saw me give reception. I was uncertain it was in the car and everything in between. Memory is not loyal. We must all improve our brainpower, our memory work yard. Eat those things that improve brainpower. Turmeric, pumpkin seeds, nuts, orange, broccoli, blueberries and nuts. Overall, eat healthy. Exercise, read and do word games that keep your brain alert. Memory…is not loyal!
