Life is a whisper: The passing of Mrs Pauline Kadiri

“Death is not the opposite of life, but part of it.”- Haruki Murakami

“Death, be not proud, though some have called thee mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; For those, whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow, Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me… One short sleep past, we wake eternally, And Death shall be no more.” – John Donne.

Two days ago I woke up to the passing of a beloved aunty, Mrs Pauline Kadiri, a retired top-level staff member of JAMB. Affable, warm, selfless, and giving.

Aside from worshipping with her at the Apostolic Nunciature almost every morning of the week, she was without a doubt one of the kindest persons I know. Aunty Pauline was always smiling, her hand on my shoulder, asking of everyone in my family.

She was a devout Catholic, her knees bowing on the knee-stool, always praying. When she sees a friend, an acquaintance, or family, her eyes light up, and that famous smile of hers would light up a room. She was also very soft-spoken; you could never hear her voice above a certain decibel.

Aunty Pauline Kadiri was a very proper woman.

Over the years, I have observed her live her life in measured tones; I have never seen her lose her temper. She always seemed to be at ease, at peace with everyone.

Mrs Kadiri also embodied the true meaning of an intertribal marriage, having originally come from Delta State and gotten married to Dr. Alex Kadiri from the Igala extract of Kogi State.

She was technically our wife, a much-beloved one at that.

As life went on, she cared for and minded her husband all her life and more so in the latter days of his life when he was ailing. Dr. Alex Kadiri passed on last year, and we took turns to condole Aunty, who was crestfallen at losing her life partner and her friend.

As news of her passing in faraway London filtered into the nunciature, it was heart-wrenching. Who would have thought?

We gathered in pockets of four, discussing what could have happened.

A passing so soon after her husband.

As churches go, everyone seems to have a dedicated seat within the church where one has worshipped for a long time. Aunty Pauline always sat behind me.

Yesterday morning, I looked back, and her seat was empty.

Death often never gives notice. So aunty is gone just like that. Never to be seen in the corridors or outside the nuncio, where we would gather after mass and exchange pleasantries before we run off to our daily grind.

Death is so permanent, so final. But as most of the comments that have come on the church platform attest, Aunty Pauline was a kindhearted person who loved God, who showed everyone what it is like to be a Christian.

We are consoled by the fact that we know where our loved ones go.

In her honour, let me take one quote each on kindness and faith.

According to Mark Twain, “Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

Martin Luther King Jr. made profound statements throughout his life about faith,, and one of them is that “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

The nunciature as a community has had its ups and downs. Only last weekend, we celebrated the posting of H.E. Monsignor Carlos Maria Donati at a nice get-together to send him off. Who would have thought that days later we would be hearing of Mrs Pauline Kadiri’s passing? She had in fact sent a message from London on the platform congratulating the community for a beautiful send-off for Monsignor Carlos Maria Donati.

But here we are. A couple of years ago, diplomat par excellence

Aunty Gina Okpa passed, and then before her we lost Mrs Dame Patricia Annenih. Their seats were empty for a while but are now filled by others. Life is but a whisper.

As we journey through the world, every death reminds us that no one will leave the world alive. It is our collective journey. But we should tarry a while and remember that one day someone would have to talk about what your legacies are, what you contributed to humanity, and how you would be remembered.

How did you function as a family member? How did you deal with subordinates, peers, and superiors alike?

What was your kindness quotient and your hard-work quotient?

What was your philanthropic quotient, your relationship quotient?

Who did you mentor? These are important questions—questions of legacy, questions related to what you left behind.

As Peter Strople said, “Legacy is not leaving something for people; it is leaving something in people.”

Mrs Pauline Kadiri has run the race, and God has called her home. Her legacy of kindness, friendship, a warm smile, a hard-working technocrat, her charitable heart, and her warmth as a wife, mother, and grandmother are well known.

Her worship as a devout Catholic is also very much what defines her. A true faithful

Our hearts go out to her family, who mourn her along with all her friends and loved ones. Those of us at the nunciature where we worship daily would not see her again. But we would miss her smiles, her warm hugs, and her willingness to help at all times. I would miss her face behind me where she sits in church, always asking, How is the family?

May her soul rest in peace, amen, and may God give her family and friends the fortitude to bear this loss. Amen