• Thursday, April 25, 2024
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BusinessDay

I am BACK!

Lagos

Prof Pat Utomi is a gentleman, a jolly good fellow and a practical intellectual, always advocating equity and fairness and the greatest good for the greatest number while showcasing his Catholic roots. But once in a while, he becomes a gang-leader, a unique one because while other gangs consist of unknown members and operate in secret, his gang operates in the opendential (the Patito’s Gang TV Show). And whenever they return from a brief break, he would announce with a mischievous glint: we are back! Even though I did not inform my readers before my ‘disappearance’, I want to make it up by apologizing and announcing that I am BACK.

My last outing was on Maundy Thursday, ( just before Easter when I wrote on ‘Basin Theology’), and by a stroke of luck, my reappearance is miraculously occurring on the Thursday before Pentecost. I believe it is the Lords doing.

My Oga at the office, Dr Ogunkoya, graciously approved a part of my leave and the motion was supported by the Oga at the very top, our own GO and such I started my leave on 6/4/21, and decided to give the Lagos-Ogun axis, a break. I had planned to ‘continue the continuous’ from wherever I would spend the leave but circumstances ‘Ko’ warrant’.

Initially, the infrastructure did not support my intention but even when that was surmountable, I got fully engaged with ‘other matters’, which took me away from regular engagements. It does not mean that I was lazing about because beyond junketing all over the East (the UGM [Unknown Gun Men] notwithstanding), I was able to make some intellectual outputs. I wrote a small book, Before I Die, (40 pages only) which unfortunately, is for restricted circulation. I also had another intellectual output ( Entrepreneurship in Practice: Cases, Challenges and Lessons) which is now available on Amazon, since 14/5/21. Since I went ‘underground’, a lot has happened and continue to happen in the spheres of Coro, insecurity, with the emergence and ubiquity of UGM, economy, Israel and her frenemy and the world of oddities. As such, I don’t know where and how to start but somehow, I have to start somewhere so as to gradually return myself in the weekly writing mood. And I will start with two unrelated developments

On Saturday 8/5/25, I had a wedding engagement at Welcome Centre at the Intl Airport Road, Lagos. I had been out of Lagos for the previous 6 weeks and having just returned from the cool and sane climes of the East, I was wary of Lagos traffic. So I asked my daughter to consult Google, the modern day ‘witches of Endor’ for me on the best traffic-route to take, and I was advised to go through Ire-Akari Estate. The ‘intracity’ routes in Ire-Akari Estate has gone terribly bad and the straight route to Mushin Road is a haven of traffic. I also wondered how to link Ajao-Estate to the other side of Airport Road and even after I was assured that it was a seamless affair, I was still not comfortable with the Ire-Akari route. When I hit the road, I noticed that the traffic to Cele Bus-Stop was smooth. So I scoffed at Google, moved directly to the Apapa-Oshodi Express way, through the Fshola Bridge, which led directly to Event-Center. But I still had some foreboding feeling about disobeying Oga-Google. However, when I got to the Express way, it was free and I thanked God that I had ignored Google. Saying Google, ‘ntọọ’ and feeling good with myself, I raved up the engine. I was thanking my stars, thinking that probably the holdup captured by Google had fizzled out, as it usually did in Lagos. And then, it happened. When I got to the exit into International Airport road, the ‘wicked’ contractor working on the road had blocked it with the type of concrete slabs that even Samson, in his last upsurge of raw strength, could not remove. I froze! To cut the long story short, I had to go and do a detour at the ‘Anthony’ axis. It took me 1 extra hour, more fuel, more anxiety and driving stress etc. Just because I dared google! I have apologized to Google, pledged to always be ‘yours obediently’ and I have become an unpaid apostle for Google, telling anyone who cared to listen: Ignore Google at your own risk.

In the last two months, everyday had been a mothers’ day. It was ether the Intl Womens’ day, or Womens’ Day Celebration by the Anglican Church, Province of Nigeria, or celebration by different provinces of the Catholic Church (Lagos, Onitsha or Owerri) or by various Pentecostals. On Sunday, 16/5/21, on my way to our Monthly CMO meeting, I tuned on to Nigerian Info 99.3FM, my favourite station around 11am, it was linked to a foreign station and lo, it was mothers’ day special on Music Time Africa or something to that effect, with callers from Kenya, Ghana and South Africa. They even played the original ‘Sweet Mother’ by Nico Mbarga. Every caller recounted wonderful, sweet and supernatural things about their mothers, and assured them of undying, perpetual love. And I started wondering: Were those callers ‘manufactured’ by the women alone? Were the women the only parties to the ‘co-creation’ industry?

I then concluded that men are an endangered specie. There are ministries, ministers, commissioners and departments of women affairs. There are women-focused programmes on the media and there are 1001 NGOs on women affairs. There are syndicated emphasis on violence against women, (even when men are now increasingly on the receiving end of multidimensional violence from the ‘weaker sex’), girl child education, women entrepreneurship, for which banks have mapped out unique products and mouth-watering sums, poverty amongst women. impact of violence on women. Even the station in question has (99.3 FM) has a special line for women and their presenters are mostly women (Sandra, my favourite, Wemimo, Joyce and they have just brought in Mrs Teke!).

This women-girls business was so bad that in Anambra, and indeed the East where boys have all but disappeared from the classrooms, there are still programmes to encourage girl-child education.

Are you thinking what I am thinking? Have we become endangered species? What is the future of our sons? Who remembered when the Mens’ day, local, church or international, was held? One day was alleged to be fathers’ day and I waited to savour the day but nothing-nothing! I was the one reminding everyone today ‘na our day now’! There was no evidence that it was a fathers day and that was why I said that it was ‘alleged’ to be a fathers’ day. It was while ruminating over this that I received this message ( which I hope most of you would have received)on my WhatsApp. Mothers’ day: Daddy take us out; Fathers’ day: Daddy take us out; Children and Mummies Birthday: Daddy take us out; Wedding anniversary, Childrens’ day Sallah or Christmas holidays and every festive occasion: Daddy Take us out. Who will take daddy out and when?

I had raised this issue with different women on different occasions and they said that hey were the ones hyping up and weaponizing these women day and allied matters, implying that we should fight our own fight. Men, should therefore wise-up. But before then, our society, right from the days of Adam & Eve has always been a man-woman, father-mother affair. It is good that we always remember that so as not to encourage me go into gender recalibration operations

So, I am back and we shall take it up from here next week. Meanwhile, thanks to those who called in asking; what is happening.