How To Maintain Unity in a Family for Many Generations

A family is made up of different people with different goals, dreams and agenda. Despite their differences members of a nuclear family stay together under the same roof in the first generation. They are led by a central parental leadership that binds them together. As the family work together they create wealth that is centralized in one place. But as children spread abroad and form their own families the ability of a family to stay together comes under stress. Members of a family begin to separate. The leadership system is decentralized and a family shift from a nuclear family to an extended family. The result is a family where wealth is pulled in different direction. It is at this point that the unity in a family begins to break. If a family is not prepared for the risk of family expansion, family unity fades, sibling rivalry ensue and brothers and sisters begin to fight. It is this difference between a nuclear and extended family in subsequent generation that proves that current family unity cannot guarantee future unity.

Subsequent generations face a different set of challenge that requires a different set of solution to foster unity. Unlike the nuclear family leader, who manages and lead a small nuclear family. Subsequent generation face the challenge of bringing together a diverse group of people made of bloodline and non-bloodline family members brought in by marriage. The advantages of a once closely knit family are absent and maintaining family unity at this stage is hard. To help subsequent generation overcome these challenges, family leaders must put mechanism in place to foster unity when a family enters its extended phase. To do this a family leader must create a central formidable force that pulls members of a family together. This central force must be timeless and effective unlike the parent or bloodline bond. The parent bond fades away when parents die and the bloodline bond is diluted as new family members enter into a family.

This central force must therefore be able to keep wealth and family together for many generations. This type of force is present in many organization, clubs and ethnic group where people come together to perpetuate causes initiated by dead men. Certain generational cultures exist because certain people perpetuate them. Some companies live far beyond their founders because certain people believe in their vision. Many associations and clubs have succeeded many generations despite the death of their founders. The reason these people perpetuate these causes is because they see how it help them achieve their own goals. It is their alignment with these causes that pulls them together to perpetuate the cause. Families who want to stay together for many generations must do the same. So how can family leaders establish this kind of cause and unite family members for many generations?

Family leader must do three things.

First, they must establish a cause that family members believe in and are motivated to perpetuate across many generations. This cause must pull members of their family together. One of the best ways to create this kind of cause is to establish a unified family vision. A family vision is a clear picture of what a family wants to be or where a family wants to go. Family members who perpetuate family vision must see how a vision benefits them support their goals and aligns with their mission. It is the ability of a vision to help family members that motivate them to perpetuate it. To find this kind of vision family leaders must answer certain questions. Is our family where it should be? Do our children look forward to come back home? Do they see our family as supportive to their goals and dreams? Does unity in this family mean endurance, silence and denial rather than true unity? Is there a clearly defined purpose for wealth? Is there fairness in this family? And so on. Creating a clear picture of what a family and its members want to be is the first step towards building lasting family unity. Second, family leaders must create a unity perpetuating Plan. That is a plan that shows a family how a vision will be ingrained in across multiple generations. Creating a unified vision is only the first step. A unified vision will not perpetuate itself. It is a perpetuating plan that ensures that a vision does not die. This plan must be clear and simple with actionable steps. If a family is to stay together and wealth is to endure forever, they must carryout certain activities to keep the vision alive. Third, family leaders must know what can kill the vision or break the family unity and guard against it. This is the only way to maintain the integrity and effectiveness of the family vision across many generations.

So how can families create this kind of vision?

Family can create a unified vision through an expert facilitated diagnostic family meeting. A diagnostic family meeting is a specially facilitated family meeting that helps a family creates a unified vision that aligns with the family and its members. It also helps families develop the motivation they need to commit to a unified family vision. If a family understands their collective and individual purpose as well as the purpose of wealth they will create family vision that works for all. Members of a family can only stay together when they commit to a vision for a self-motivated reason. The goal of the diagnostic family meeting is to help families find this self-motivated reason and to help them create a unified vision that works for all. If you want to create this kind of unified vision so your family can stay united together for many generations, we can help you. For more details send an email to [email protected].

When a group of people believe in a vision they will defend it, protect it and perpetuate it out of their own accord.