Oyinkansola Alabi, popularly referred to as The Emotions Doctor, is a US Army Behavioral Health Specialist and a productivity enhancement and life validation, strategist. She helps individuals, achievers, and Organisations increase performance using emotional intelligence tools and proprietary methodologies.
Oyinkan serves as the lead researcher and facilitator at Emotions City, Africa’s leading Centre for Emotional Intelligence where she has been a consultant and confidante to CEOs.
She is the first female founder of an Emotional Intelligence Academy in Africa. The Executive Producer of the multiple award-winning documentary titled “The Story Of The Girl Who Stood Up For Emotional Intelligence in Nigeria” and the convener of Africa’s first Emotional Intelligence Week.
In this interview with IFEOMA OKEKE-KORIEOCHA, she speaks on how she helps individuals, achievers, and organisations increase performance using emotional intelligence tools and why emotional intelligence has become inevitable in organisations and families amongst others.
What informed the name ‘Emotions Doctor’?
Emotion Doctor is an interesting name that was coined because I wanted to be a doctor and I am an emotions expert, so I just blended both words smoothly and it became Emotions Doctor. I also have an honorary doctorate in Psychology and I am also pursuing my Psychology degree. So everything just blends and it works.
Take us through your journey of being in the US Army, specialising in Behavioural Health?
I joined the US army because I wanted to be part of something large. The U.S army is the number one army in the world and to be a part of the number one army in the world is massive. It is an unmatchable army and the uniform is the most powerful uniform in the world. So, I chose to serve and be part of a larger community. I chose to give back to a country that has given to me and that is the reason why I joined. I joined as a professional which is the Mental Health Unit because I’m in the mental health space.
At what point did you join the U.S army and what motivated you to do this?
My parents are veterans. Veterans are people who serve honourably in the army. So, I joined based on their evangelism. Like I mentioned earlier, I wanted to be a part of something big and to give back to a country who has given to me.
What are your roles as productivity enhancement and life validation strategist?
My role in a lay man’s English is to be the principal and founder of Emotions City and the team lead of Emotions City. My responsibility is to enhance and increase people’s personal and professional interests. That’s what I do.
How do you help individuals, achievers, and organisations increase performance using emotional intelligence tools and proprietary methodologies?
Most of the time, we train on emotional intelligence and we train individuals, at worship centers, organisations and governments on emotional intelligence because emotional intelligence is the oxygen of relationships. Emotional intelligence is not a part of life but life itself. Emotional intelligence is life, kindness is life, empathy is life, compassion is life, self-awareness is life. It is not a part of life. You cannot do without it. So, we help organisations understand that emotions drive people, people drive performance, emotions drive your bottom-line. If your customer service department is not taking care of the customers, there would not be any exchange between buying and selling and if you do not sell, you will not have cash flow. Once you do not have cash flow, you no longer have a business. So, if people do not see your service or your products as a product or service, then there is no value to what you shared that you created. Then you would no longer have a business. So, emotions drive people and relationships. Emotions drive everything you do. Your relationship with God, your spouse and children is emotional. It is the reason why if a child says you should give him money and your child says you should give him money, there is a likelihood that you would go with your child. Emotions drive practically everything that we do and my responsibility is to evangelise emotional intelligence just like a gospel.
As the first female founder of an Emotional Intelligence Academy in Africa, why the passion for emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence changed my life and I was consumed by the passion to help other people change their lives. Emotional intelligence is like you have the passion for water. Water is not optional. Water is life. You must drink water. More than half of your body is made up of water. So, emotional intelligence is actually important in every relationship. It is not what you say but how you say it. It is not what you do in business but how you do it. That’s why you would hear, ‘Culture is strategy for breakfast’ because you must understand cultural intelligence and emotional intelligence. Life is defined by emotions. If you are driving and someone overtakes you, it’s a trigger. Someone says a word you don’t like, it triggers you. That’s an emotional decision. Everything that you are doing is emotional. So, my role is to keep spreading the gospel of emotional intelligence in every country, every state and everywhere that I go; online and offline.
You produced the documentary “The Story of the Girl Who Stood Up For Emotional Intelligence in Nigeria”. Tell us about this and its success stories since you produced the documentary?
Yes, I produced a documentary because I’m a storyteller. I love to tell my stories. I don’t leave my stories to be told by anybody. I don’t wait for people to tell my story before I tell my story. So, I wanted to document what I have been able to establish; what I have done; our success stories and we requested for volunteers and people came. We couldn’t record all of them. We had to record about 10 of them and it is about who they were before emotional intelligence and who they have become after emotional intelligence. Like a testimonial. What was your life before? What is your life now and this documentary has won awards in different countries. We won the documentary of the year in Singapore, in Texas, U.S. We have won a couple of others in Nigeria and in Africa. On our table, we have about five or six awards. The documentary is on YouTube. It is called ‘A Story of a Girl Who Stood Up for Emotional Intelligence in Nigeria.’
How many countries have your work taken you to and which of the countries was more challenging for you and why?
We have clients in about 40 countries both online and offline.
What’s more challenging will be the cultural interface. Sometimes when you are telling people to come for therapy or training. They will tell you they believe in God and they don’t need therapy. Yes, I also worship God but you can have Jesus and also have therapy. It is the same way that you can have Jesus and have a teacher. You can have Jesus and have a doctor. You can have Jesus and have an art instructor. Jesus is a healer but medical doctors are created by God. Jesus can perform miracles but you have to be flown by a doctor; if you are flying out, you can’t all of a sudden become a witch. You can pray about something but if you have to eat, you have to cook.
One of the major challenges will be the spiritual angle but people are opening up and we are thankful for that.
You have trained 346 Emotional Intelligence Certified Specialists in 14 Countries. What organisations or companies often request for your services and why ?
Organisations or companies that often request for our services are those who understand the power of people operations, human resources and people management. Any organisation that respects their team members, values their team members and any organisation who understands the power of emotion in business are the people who invite us to train them. I would have loved to mention names but I won’t. But organisations who place value on their human resource, people management and people development and worship centres who understand that they need emotional intelligence invite us. Creating emotional intelligence in families is very important. Having a family constitution is important. Raising emotional intelligent children is important because your children will not become what you have not taught them. They will not learn kindness if you don’t teach them kindness. They will not learn empathy if you don’t teach them empathy. They have to see it; you have to show it, you have to declare it. It can just be voiced, visual and aesthetic. They must understand that they are loved at home so they don’t begin to look for love in the wrong places. So, these are the kind of people we serve.
What are the challenges thriving as a female emotional intelligence specialist?
I don’t really think there are challenges in this regard. My life is easy and simple. I have a dream, I achieve my dreams. If I can think it, I can achieve it. I don’t discuss success. I am successful. I am successful in Nigeria, Africa and the U.S. The challenges I see are things that happen on a daily basis and I can live with them.
Did your growing up influence your career path as an emotional intelligence specialist?
Yes. That’s a long story. I was raised in a dysfunctional home. My parents were good people. You can be a good person with good intentions but bad execution. The difference between me and their generation is that I know better and I’m supposed to do better. They did what they could at the level that they could with the knowledge they had. This is 2024. I was born in 1984. So the knowledge they had in 1984; there was no social media. The knowledge they had was limited. So, with the limited resources, they did what they could. Now, I have more resources and exposure. They had exposure at their level but there were a lot of things that happened at that time and they affected me. And that is why I set out to heal myself and be a better person and when I found out that I was becoming a better person and my life was changing, I set out to help other persons like me raised in a dysfunctional home become better. My parents are good people but you can be good and still make mistakes and that’s how I became who I have become.
What impact do you hope to make in the next 10 years and what steps are you taking to achieve this?
In the U.S now, I have Emotions City. We have Emotional Intelligence for African House which is an emotional stability hub for Africans in diaspora. We have an adult crèche. Adult creche is a play center that helps adults play like children again. These are the three things I am concentrating on right now and my energy is there.
Do you think training and specialisation on emotional intelligence is gaining traction in Nigeria compared to developed countries and why?
Yes it is. People are seeing the benefits and the value. When people see the value you are offering then somewhere along the line they will meet you where you desire they meet up with you. So they are opening up. Our target audience knows that we exist and they are showing up at our doorstep for us. I help in their individual lives, in their relationships, at their organisations, worship centres etc. People invite us virtually and offline at their offices, worship centres etc. They fly us to different countries and that’s how we have gotten the impact we have had.
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