My failure

If I wasn’t their mother I would not believe that Bridget and Gabriel were related. Gabriel was a cool headed person. He liked to mind his business and most times his head was buried in books. His excellent academic performance was proof of the long hours he spent studying. His younger sister on the other hand was a menace. She had been to three different secondary schools until she decided that she was no longer cut out for education. Not because she wasn’t brilliant enough to sit within the four walls of a classroom but because she was recalcitrant, obnoxious and very ill mannered.

Bridget made life unbearable for everyone around her. She had a caustic tongue and she could talk ten to a dozen
without a care about whose ox was gored. She had no form of regard for anybody including me. For instance, Gabriel would always appreciate my efforts in trying to give them a good life. He applauded me for doing so much as a single parent but his sister would drum it in my ears that I did not need any special pat on the back for taking care of my responsibilities.

For as long as I can remember, Bridget always had demeaning things to her brother and after a while the things she said to him began to affect his self esteem. He was a very emotional person and she used that against him, she made him lose self confidence until he became depressed. It pained me so much because there seemed to be nothing I could do to help my son. He chose his sister’s words over mine and that was such a sad thing. Sometimes I wondered if Bridget was punishment for something I did in my past. She was such a horrible person that I often wondered if she was my child…who knows if she was switched at birth.

So I had gone away on a business trip and I tried to reach Gabriel but his number was unavailable so I called my housekeeper to ask of his whereabouts.

She told me that earlier that day, Bridget had cornered him in the kitchen and said terrible and unprintable things to him. The latter couldn’t handle the insults hurled at him so he stormed out of the house in anger. Several hours had passed and still no one could reach him. None of his friends knew where he was and that made me more worried. When he wasn’t back by the end of the day, I filed a missing person report at the police station but I had to wait 48 long hours before he could officially be declared missing.

Two weeks later, there was still no news about my son. My maternal instincts had kicked in and even though I tried to live in denial, I already knew that something bad had happened to my son. We had a major breakthrough in the case when the police hacked into Gabriel’s laptop and discovered that he had been a victim of cyber bullying. I was aware of the girl he met online and I remember warning him several times to be very careful. He had sent nude pictures of himself to this girl and she was threatening to post them all over the internet. It turns out the girl was Bridget! She created a fake social media account just to deceive her brother. I always knew that she had evil intentions towards everyone but I never expected her to go that far. The police took her in for questioning but I prevailed on them to let her come back home. I had plans for her.

Exactly, six weeks after my son had gone missing, I was called to identify his badly decomposed body. This is the worst pain any parent could ever go through. There was almost nothing left of him except his clothes and his bracelet. My promising 1st class, 400level Computer Engineering undergraduate was gone because of his sister.

I saw how she faked tears and rolled on the floor when she heard he was dead. A few minutes later she was arguing with the housekeeper about her lunch. Bridget didn’t show any remorse for what she did to her brother. I could not comprehend how cold and heartless she was so I made mental note to myself that she would join her brother one way or another. I’d rather be childless than have Bridget as my daughter. I already had a few ideas about how to take her out of this earth but after Gabriel was laid to rest, I realized that I didn’t have to do that any more.

Gabriel was unable to stand up to his younger sister when he was alive but he could do it in death. He made every waking moment torturous for her and he didn’t spare her when she slept either.
I didn’t believe in ghosts but if Bridget said she was seeing her brother’s ghost, then that was fine.

It’s been a year since my son took the plunge into a river and took his life. It was a selfish thing for him to do and I will never forgive him for that. I am angry that he can only stand up for himself in death, something I always encouraged him to do while he was alive. I am angry that he abandoned all his dreams and aspirations because of his sister. I am angry that he couldn’t tell me what he was going through instead he chose to die and leave me alone in this world.
I worked so hard to be a provider for my children but I failed them as a mother. Looking back, I realise that there were things I should have done but I ignored them.

Bridget has been confined to a psychiatric hospital. She has become a shadow of herself. I don’t know what to feel for her but I know that I’ve lost a daughter and I wish her whatever comes out of the situation she’s in.