Calming the Anxious Mind

Anxiety, a word that carries a lot of power, feelings and emotions, yet it can be so hard to explain. It creeps up on you socially, emotionally, physically and mentally. It can manifest itself as anger, withdrawal, stress, impulsiveness, irritability, controlling behaviour and lashing out. Anxiety is the fear of the unknown. The fear of uncertainty. While for some people, it is their worst enemy, for others, it is their crutch.

Anxiety is the body’s natural reaction to a stressful situation. It is the fight-flight-freeze response our body releases; a survival mechanism that protects us from actual or perceived threat. Anxiety and fear go hand-in-hand. Fear is the instinct that tells you to be still (freeze) when you spot a coyote on the hiking trail or run (flight) when a dog is chasing you. It is normal to be anxious. The butterflies you get when you are going on your first date; the sweaty palms you have when you are about to give a speech or presentation; the urge to use the washroom before a big event. Let us not forget the tension and palpitations before a job interview. I am pretty sure all these emotions sound familiar and of course, while it may look and feel different for everyone, these are simple examples of the body’s reaction to anxious situations.

However, there comes a point where our minds are constantly in this fight-flight-freeze mode even when there is no real danger. This occurs when our bodies are under high-stress alert and are trying to justify our triggers; hence, setting off our natural alarm system in situations when it should not be doing so. Anxiety becomes a concern when it starts to interfere with your daily activities and gets worse over time. Sometimes, you might not necessarily be aware of what makes you anxious, but you may experience body sensations and irrational thoughts that cross your mind. In retrospect, you will be able to look back and gauge what was triggering your anxiety.

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The question stands – what can we do to lower the volume of that inner voice in our mind? Not mute it, but rather lower it. Sometimes, we have to sit and pay attention to that voice. Focus on how it makes your body feel and try not to fight it. Once we have acknowledged those thoughts, then we will be able to self-regulate our volatile emotions and implement what makes us feel safe and calm in the midst of what seems like a mind tornado. One has to evaluate if the thoughts are true. If they are factual. Ask yourself: what is the worst that could happen? Then, brainstorm a plan to execute before you spiral into the rabbit hole of dark thoughts. The main goal here is to change the false narrative – replace the negative thoughts with helpful thoughts and become aware of the language you use when speaking to yourself. Redirect your energy to the present; think about what you want for yourself and how you want to feel. We need to be kind and gentle to ourselves in order to achieve this positive outcome. Patience is key here as it requires practice to find out what techniques and strategies work best in certain situations. Remember, healing is an educational journey with no graduation – I heard this once and it stuck with me. Try not to let your thoughts define you.

Some helpful apps for daily affirmations and relaxation include PEPTALKS™ by Lindsey Eryn, Insight Timer, Happify, Headspace and Calm. It might also help to keep a small journal you could carry with you to jot down your thoughts and feelings when you do find yourself feeling anxious. This not only helps you acknowledge your feelings, but also makes you self-aware of the underlying cause.
Self-help books to read include “The Worry Trick” by David A. Carbonell and “Calm the F*ck Down” by Sarah Knight. Some good reads for kids are “Listening to my body” by Gabi Garcia and “What to do when you worry too much” by Dawn Huebner.

*This article aims to provide helpful tips and strategies to manage anxiety. However, if you are experiencing increased levels of anxiety, please seek professional help or talk to your doctor.

Stacey Karuhanga is a registered Social Worker in Canada. She holds a Master’s degree in Social Work (MSW), specializing in Mental Health and Health. She has experience working with infants, children and youth who have emotional, behavioural and social difficulties. Additionally, she has worked with adults living with mental illness and concurrent disorders. Stacey currently works as a Child and Family Therapist.