The long holiday is often a challenge for parents and guardians. How do you keep children mentally and socially active? How do you keep them safe from predators and the bad friends? How do you prepare them for the next school year? How do you prepare them for life, with skills ranging from speaking your language to robotics? Some of these questions giveparents sleepless nights. As an educator and parent, I will share some thoughts with you on how with a dose of creativity and a strategic plan, you can ensure a proper use of the long holiday period. You can sow the seed for the kind of adults you want to see in your family and the kind of citizens we want to see in our country.
Mold their character
One lesson I have learnt from years of interacting with business and political leaders is that character counts. The leading business and social entrepreneurs I have come across embody important traits (which employers value) like social intelligence in relating well with people of different cultures and religions, curiosity, flexibility, drive, and optimism. However, telling children to be more confident, flexible, sociable or courageous is no way to teach character. Children learn by frequently being asked and trusted to take chances by doing their work and manage failure. Oftentimes, children may fail when they first have to engage this way, but eventually they develop the confidence they need to carry out a task.
Opportunities for character-building abound in the home. It is as simple as making a child responsible for something – washing plates after breakfast, setting the table for meals, cooking meals, cleaning their roomand other child-appropriate tasks. In an ethically-challenged environment as ours, we must be intentional in exemplifying values in our children and doing so in ways that are both fun and age-appropriate. It makes the difference in their being able to excel on the national and global stage.
Let them work
For older children, working in the family business or an internship during the holidays is the best gift you can give your child. It offers the opportunity to learn the value of hard work and build problem-solving muscles, as well as communication, collaboration and other 21st century skills. Dr. NgoziOkonjo-Iweala, Nigeria’s former Finance Minister and renowned global shaper attested to character-building experiences from early years of living in the village with her grandparents during which she learnt to cook and even fetch firewood. There, she experiencedthe challenges of existence at the subsistence level. We must allow our children to build a social conscience by working to improve life at home and getting involved in charity projects at church or mosque, so they can understand their role in transforming the conditions of extreme poverty in our environment.
It is never too early to expose them to the joy and dignity of labor,the small successes of everyday living are what constitute the big achievements of tomorrow. Age-appropriate work is perhaps the best opportunity for children to develop “grit” that magic element for success in life identified by Paul Tough in his bestselling book, How Children Succeed. Grit, according to modern psychologist Angela Duckworth, is a combination of self-control, passion and perseverance for long-term goals. Children cannot build grit by sitting passively in front of a television or tablet throughout the holidays.
Let them play
That is not to say that the holiday should be all work and no play. Making allowance for free and unscheduled time during the long holidays is important for children, giving them space to be creative. Playing games like Ludo, Monopoly etc., soccer, swimming, bike-riding etc. also teaches life-long values like taking turns, striving for excellence, winning and losing graciously, and integrity in not cheating for advantage. Activities aside, children benefit from adequate play and rest and from having close and meaningful relationships with the adults in their lives.
Let them learn
The long holidays offer a time to catch up on school work through additional learning opportunities. Do not overdo it, so that the child does not begin the new year mentally exhausted. Some cognitive learning is recommended during the long holiday to prevent so-called “summer learning loss” where the cognitive skills developed during the academic year are forgotten for lack of practice and engagement. Combine moderate intellectual stimulation with fun and recreational activities. If budget permits, summer camps can support learning cognitive and non-cognitive skills.
Protect them from a crazy world
It is not enough to engage children; we must protect them from physical, emotional and increasingly digital danger. Be friends with your children, establishing a trusting relationship which allows for open and easy communication. Gone are the days when children are to be seen and not heard. As much as we teach them to be respectful, we must empower children to talk to us about their experiences and not be intimidated into silence and abuse by predators. It is imperative that you create ‘safe’ time alone with your children so they can share with you their thoughts. Connecting this way daily can ward off potential abuse.
Let them see the world
They learn from you to also be socially conscious of events in the country and. You can assign them to find out more about a particular world event or culture and flesh it out through art, a poem, a report or scientific experiment. If budget permits, travel is the best teacher, take them to other parts of the world, another country or another city. Reading is the number one activity for escaping to others worlds, so a reading list for the long holiday is very much in order. Such activities children practice imaginative thinking, build creative and innovative ideas, hone effective communication skills, and have material on which to think critically.
What’s in a good plan?
A good plan should include chores (yes housework), recreation and most importantly, experiential learning activities. As Confucius says: “I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.” When children take part in real-world projects, their self-image blossoms and they develop new skills, new friends and more self-confidence from their experience. Hands-on fun activities as simple as cooking that activates all parts of the brain is imperative for young people during the long break and always. But be flexible to accommodate a change in plans and to respond to emergent opportunities to improve your plan. It is more important to remain consistent in executing the plan and involve your child in making the plan, rebounding when there are setbacks.
Ijeoma Nwagwu
Dr. Nwagwu is a Faculty member at the Lagos Business School
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